By Chris Wright
It’s a crime against nature we know, but Robert Pires was allegedly “beaten” and punched in his beautiful, beautiful face by an opposing coach during a half-time barney mid-way through a recent Indian Super League.
Pires’ coach at FC Goa, Zico, has told press that the French veteran was struck in the face by Atletico de Kolkata coach Antonio Lopez Habas as the two teams funnelled into the tunnel at the interval.
Zico told reporters at a post-match press conference:
“One of our players said that he was beaten by the coach of the other team Pires said he was punched on the face by the Atletico coach and it is very shameful.
“I am telling you what my players told me and I didn’t see that myself but I don’t think that Pires will lie and say something that didn’t happen.”
The ISL have since announced that they are looking into the allegations, with a spokesperson confirming thus:
“Both teams have written to the ISL and the incident has been referred to the regulatory commissioner.
As you can imagine, the shockwaves of such flagrant barbarism have reverberated around the world, with Arseblog even going as far as launching a hashtag vigil for the preservation of Pires’ chiselled visage.
Join us, and #pray4bobbysface