Spoilsports: Government Rejects Petition To Have Emile Heskey Knighted

Chris Wright

25th, April 2014

2 Comments

By Chris Wright

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Norwich City v Aston Villa - Carrow Road

Arise, Sir Emile Ivanhoe Heskey

Sad, sad news this morning that the poo-poo heads in government have rejected a petition to have Emile Heskey become a knight of the realm.

The petition was started on the 10 Downing Street website last month by Leicester fan Daniel McCarthy and called for Heskey to be awarded a knighthood for his “services to football”.

McCarthy’s appeal to the Department of Culture Media and Sport read: “Emile has changed the way the game is played, he is an experienced, well-loved and all round genius player.”

Sound reasoning. Heskey’s even got a mythical knight’s middle name, for Christ’s sake. He’s the perfect candidate.

Well, sadly as it happens, the government saw fit to argue – with the Heskalump petition being dismissed by jobsworth Whitehall officials on the grounds that “[petitions] about honours and appointments are excluded from consideration under the rules.”

Rules? Pah! Would Emile Heskey play by the rules? HELL NO!

Any road up, this poor guy’s going to be heartbroken…

(Via Leicester Mercury)

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2 Comments

  1. smrc says:

    That song is stuck in my head for some good weeks when you posted it here some long time ago. Now I didn’t even need to play i to activate that state again (but obviously I HAD to). Using words is pointless to describe the magnificence of that video.

  2. alfa1020 says:

    They can’t knight him. They are waiting to SIR Steven Gerrard, then they can do Heskey

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