Think you know who the Real Madrid star is? Leave a comment with your shout.
Fair play to AlanS, thedoc, Kipp, Delboy and Kevin. You're my guys.
]]>I leave you for now with a new slice of Jimmy Bullard magic:
Loving his work again.
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Think you know who the Real Madrid star is? Leave a comment with your shout.
Fair play to AlanS, thedoc, Kipp, Delboy and Kevin. You're my guys.
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Terrible moustache, Ian. Not-terrible defending, Alan
Hot on the heels of the news that the Guardian "jinxed" Liverpool's tilt at a 19th league title, Sky Sports pundit Jeff Stelling has added to the weight of the hex:
"Manchester United are unquestionably weaker than last year, while Chelsea are no stronger and they are all a year older. Liverpool have got Fernando Torres, who will score a bagful if he plays for a full season (it's not exactly very original to say that is it?) and of course there's the inspirational Steven Gerrard. I was disappointed to see them get rid of Xabi Alonso, but they were so close last year and they barely need to improve at all. I just think it could be their year."
That's torn it.
Jeff goes on to tip Man City for a Champions League spot. Was he at the sherry when he made these predictions? [@ Sky Sports]
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[Photos: © designboom]
Today's footballers are a bunch of vain girls, so this makes perfect sense. Can't wait for the WAGs special edition; Cheryl Cole plays up front, of course.
As seen at the recent International Design Festival Berlin. [@ designboom]
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This is where you get to pick Barca's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'll reveal my selection (based on Barcelona's squad at time of writing). No doubt Pep Guardiola will use several different formations this season but this is the default starting team I would go with:
My XI (in a 4-1-2-3 formation):
Victor Valdes
Dani Alves, Carles Puyol, Gerard Piqué, Eric Abidal
Yaya Touré
Xavi Hernandez, Andrés Iniesta
Lionel Messi, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Thierry Henry
Compared with picking Arsenal's best XI, this seemed fairly straightforward. Barcelona haven't made many changes to their brilliant, Champions League-winning squad this summer, and why would they?
At the back, there is a reassuringly settled look. There is no threat to Victor Valdes or Dani Alves, for example. At left-back though, I thought about picking new signing Maxwell ahead of Abidal, but decided to go with the more defensive player; Maxwell will get his chance but the Frenchman deserves to keep his place. In the middle, Carles Puyol gets the nod ahead of Rafa Marquez, and starts alongside the imperious Gerard Piqué, who is now firmly established - in my mind, at least - as the club's first-choice centre-back.
In midfield, again there can be little dispute about the first choices. Some of you may prefer Sergi Busquets to Yaya Touré, and while both are fine defensive midfielders, Touré has the edge. Those little Spanish geniuses, Xavi and Iniesta, must start.
Up front, same story: Zlatan is a direct replacement for Samuel Eto'o, with Lionel Messi and Thierry Henry as the wingmen. Formidable x3.
So that's how I see it. (I'm right, of course.)
Let's hear your XIs...
MORE
What is Tottenham's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?
What do Gunn and Edmonson have in common, apart from their looks? Hmm, I'm getting the word "Bottom"...
... Boom boom.
Got a lookalike for Pies? Email me with your shout(s).
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Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool)
Strong like bull. Runs all day. Never gets injured. May play some games up front, especially if Nando Torres is injured. Hardened to the Premier League now. Should be a win-win pick.
Tim Cahill (Everton)
Like Kuyt, Cahill is a midfielder who often plays in a forward role, which is good news in fantasy football. After an injury-interrupted campaign in 08/09, I anticipate that the combative Aussie will bounce back and show his quality. His fiery temper is a slight concern, but I think the pros outweight that con.
Aaron Lennon (Tottenham)
Still improving and will surely be in the mood to impress Fabio Capello ahead of the 2010 World Cup. Should be a fixture on Tottenham's right flank this season. And with Peter Crouch now in Spurs' squad, Lennon's number of assists will surely go up.
Danny Murphy (Fulham)
In the twilight of his career but also in the form of his life - mysteriously, he's still an underrated playmaker. Has looked good in pre-season. Takes spot-kicks for Fulham, which is a bonus.
Martin Petrov (Man City)
Fit again and hopefully Mark Hughes will find a role for him among City's galacticos. Probably the best crosser in the league.
Lucas Leiva (Liverpool)
Lucas is cheap to buy, he should see plenty of game time in 09/10 and I suspect he'll prove a lot of doubters wrong by having easily his best season at Liverpool (not a big ask, admittedly). He's a decent bargain punt, especially if you're trying to cram both Lampsy and Stevie Me into your XI.
Which midfielders will you rely on this season?
MORE FANTASY TIPS
Six Premier League defenders you should consider for your fantasy football team
Six Premier League goalkeepers you should consider for your fantasy football team
Brann keeper Hakon Opdal crocks himself as he is going to kick out the ball, then Odd striker Peter Kovacs taps the ball in the net, much to the furious anger of Brann players and fans alike. (Odd won the game 5-1, btw.)
Should Kovacs have stopped and put the ball out (or given it back to a Brann player), or was he justified in playing on? Be interested to hear your thoughts...
I think it happened quickly enough that most players would have played on. Kovacs' finish was instinctive and therefore it's a little unfair to criticise him too much. But perhaps Odd could than have allowed Brann to score direct from the kick-off?
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Quote of the day goes to Nereida Gallardo, one of C-Ron's most skanky famous ex-WAGs. Here she is talking about Ron's favourite underwear, a red, elephant-trunk thong:
"He puts his willy where the elephant's face is. But he doesn't fill its trunk. During our time together he got turned on more by looking at himself in the mirror than at me."
I just did some sick in my mouth.
Gallardo, who is obviously on a one-woman mission to humiliate the man who snubbed her, also revealed that C-Ron's libido is no match for hers:
"I can do three or four orgasms and he fell asleep after one."
I just did some sick in my mouth. Again.
To be fair to Ronny, doesn't every man fall asleep after one orgasm (except Sting)? No FAIL there.
Note to self: be very careful when searching for "elephant thong" on Google Images.
[@ The Spoiler]
Norwich City lost 7-1 at home to Colchester in their opening fixture in League One. It was the heaviest home defeat in the club's 107-year history.
After Colchester had gone 4-0 up, a couple of disgusted Norwich fans ran onto the pitch and threw their season tickets in Gunn's direction. And who can blame them?
As much as this was a disastrous result for Bryan Gunn's newly relegated Canaries, credit must be given to Paul Lambert's side, who played quite brilliantly.
Writing in the Mirror about this game, Stan "The Man" Collymore opened up with this glistening pearl of wisdom:
"I can remember every opening day match in my career and the mantra from virtually all my managers was: 'do not lose'."
A mantra for every match, surely? Or Stan has worked under some very limited gaffers.
The beautiful view from the away section:
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Holy high-visibility jackets, Batman! That is one standout kit. There's no danger of Celtic manager Tony Mowbray trotting out Fergie's old "the players couldn't see each other" excuse.
Turning to the stuff that matters, City beat the Hoops 2-1, thanks to excellent goals by Gareth Barry (his first for City, on the back of a deliciously timed run into the box) and the much-maligned Craig Bellamy:
]]>SUCCEED.
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Pies would LOVE IT if you spared 60 seconds out of your busy day to vote on which Premier League manager will lose his job first this season. If you do, you'll automatically be entered into a competition to win a Premier League football shirt of your choice!
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Ah, it feels good to have panto villains like The Drog, Herr Ballack, Mr Chelsea and Cashley back on the radar. Ballack has already wound up every single Man Utd fan with his blatant bodycheck (or "elbow", if you listen to United's camp) on Patrice Evra.
But I wonder which Chelsea player winds you up more than any other? Leave a comment with your shout (and reason why), or just vote below (or both!):
I went for Didier Drogba. Every time I look at his massive head, I die a little.