Pies has it figured out… Why do you think C-Ron spent most of his summer on a sun lounger, slowly turning the colour of Nutella? It’s obvious now: because he wanted to look as good as possible in the all-white kit of Real Madrid; everyone knows that white shows off a tan nicely. Oh, and […]
C-Ron is not coming back to Manchester According to Portuguese newspaper A Bola, Real Madrid have already set a date to present Cristiano Ronaldo to the world – and that date is August 15th. Put it in your diary. Madrid have reportedly offered â‚¬75 million to Man Utd for Ronaldo, a sum that they believe […]
Spurs transfer target v annoying reality TV “star” Remember Anthony Hutton, the vain Geordie with a pea-sized brain? I hope not – there’s absolutely no reason for you to. More shit (translation: amazing) lookalikes
Who’s done the best business in the off-season? Here’s who… 10 Brad Friedel (Blackburn to Aston Villa) He’s not far off 40 years old, but Hellboy is still one of the best ‘keepers around. The rest of the list after the jump…
Tuesday’s soccer-shaped smorgasbord Real Madrid midfielder Wesley Sneijder’s knee injury will rule him out for three months, a relief to the player who had feared a longer absence. Tests showed Sneijder did not tear ligaments when he was challenged by Arsenal’s Abou Diaby in a friendly. [Canadian Press] Alex Ferguson is a secret film buff […]
Posh v fictional luckdragon Uncanny, huh. Spotted at Totallylookslike.com
Wenger wants Liverpool midfielder, but not for Â£18m asking price If Gareth Barry arrives to Anfield (90% certain now), Rafa Benitez will probably let Xabi Alonso go to Arsenal. And he should. Liverpool are asking for Â£18m for the Spanish midfielder, a frankly silly price which Arsene Wenger is reluctant to pay, rightly. Alonso’s value […]
The best pics from the weekend’s friendly action
Nicolas Anelka fills his boots against sluggish Italians Some clownish goalkeeping by Milan’s giant Aussie, Zeljko Kalac, helped Chelsea rack up five goals against the Serie A team in Moscow at the weekend. Nicolas Anelka helped himself to four, with Frank Lampard also on the scoresheet. A great result for Chelsea’s self-confidence, but you can’t […]
2″OLE”GEND takes a well-deserved bow Man Utd legend Ole Gunnar Solskjaer had his testimonial at the weekend, against Espanyol. He came on for the last 20-odd minutes and despite his dodgy knees, still showed enough class to remind fans inside Old Trafford why he will always be remembered as a true United legend. I’ve written […]
Sepp Twatter claims misquote Sepp Blatter has now denied ever saying his infamous Cristiano Ronaldo slavery quote. “I have never said that Ronaldo is a slave,” Blatter told reporters on Wednesday during a visit to Vietnam. “But I said slavery with young people, youngsters that European clubs are trying to get 13, 14 and 15 […]
Name the six clubs from these photos. Some are current strips, some from the past…
Friday’s fattiest scraps from the table we call “football” Wayne Rooney questioned by police after allegedly spitting at a paparazzo [Mirror] Lucky Steve McLaren, eh – his FC Twente team drew Arsenal in the Champions League. Check out the full draw over at the BBC Boris Johnson spotted shopping for Arsenal merchandise. He also signed […]
More pics of new boys (check out part one) Click on the image below to launch the gallery…
Gunners defeat Jens Lehmann’s new team Arsenal fought back from 1-0 down to claim an impressive away win in Germany. We have pictures from the game, plus a video of match highlights that you can watch after the jump. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…
Thursday’s news balls, inflated to the max Deuce Bigalow (aka Rob Schneider) snapped wearing West Ham shirt. Oh, and drunk [The Offside Rules] C-Ron says his move to Real Madrid is “non-negotiable”. Fergie might have something to say about that [The Spoiler] Tottenham have held talks with Spartak Moscow striker Roman Pavlyuchenko [BBC] Revealed, the […]
How not to execute a header… Boof!
Why sign another overpriced midfielder? David Bentley is a good Premier League player. He’s not worth Â£15m, but that’s another story. Put it this way: none of the big four wanted him, including Arsene Wenger, who ditched him in the first place (albeit with regret). Tottenham would have been better off spending the money earned […]
Keano’s happier than a pig in shit Things we learned that we already knew: 1) Liverpool are a “massive club”. 2) Robbie Keane supports Liverpool. 3) Robbie Keane is 28. 4) Robbie Keane always gives “110%”. 5) Robbie Keane will never forget… er, that London team he used to play for.
Liverpool’s new striker “links up” with Nando Torres This is the start of a beautiful friendship. Premier League defences, beware – you can’t tackle true love. [With Leather, via Kickette]
Today’s news, rumours & morsels Top five hottest women in the USA national team [Save the intern] Ex-con Joey Barton loses lucrative Nike boot deal [The Sun] David Bentley set for White Hart Lane medical after Spurs increase bid to Â£15m. [Telegraph] Aston Villa’s attempts to compete with the salary Gareth Barry would receive if […]
Shiny new players, in shiny new kits Click on the image below to launch the gallery…
G-Nev vs fighty Batman star Gary is like an uglier, wonky-nosed version of Bale, but you can see the resemblence, no? More Shit lookalikes
It’s happened again… What happened to the goalkeepers’ union? It’s just bad form to embarrass another goalie like this.