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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Robinho showreel of skills

August 3rd, 2006

Watch. Watch Robinho. No wonder Thomas Gravesen ended up punching him in the face. How else can you stop him? Mof Gimmers

Thomas Gravesen is a thug isn’t he? He used to chop Premiership players down for fun. Now in Spain, at the most famous club in the world, it would seem that he can’t catch those quick and nimble Galacticos, and is settling for a good old smack in the mouth. With Boro and Newcastle looking […]

What do you do when half of your supprt are fat pie muching knackers? Do you introduce a healthy option to the half time snack kiosk? Or maybe you encourage them to walk to the ground instead of driving? Naaah… sod all that… just stick a six-pack in the weave of your away shirt! If […]

John Terry recently stated that he was convinced Liverpool would be in the race for the title. Jose Mourinho doesn’t seem to agree, thinking Man Urinal and A’nal will be the ones pushing his side all the way. He said "I still believe that Man United and Arsenal will be the biggest threat, in spite […]

Footballing Fisticuffs

August 2nd, 2006

Handbags at ten paces is a phrase often coined during football matches these days. I wonder what phrase you’d apply to this brutal fist-a-thon? Mof Gimmers

Vieira switches to Inter

August 2nd, 2006

Well, it’s come as a bit of a shock to me that Patrick Vieira has chosen to move to Milan giants, Inter, as opposed to a move back to the Premiership with Man United. The Frenchman has been sold for a paltry £6.5million. The announcement was made by Juventus this morning through the Italian stock […]

With reports that Patrick Viera is set for a return to the Premiership with Man Urinals, its worth recalling this tender moment between Paddy V and Roy Keane in the tunnel at Highbury. A big girly Roy Keane didn’t like big scary Patrick ‘shoutin’ his f**kin’ mouth off at Gary Neville", so they had a […]

If reports are true, then Martin O’Neill must be either the stupidest or most optimistic man on the planet. Aston Villa are stepping up their attempts in the move to land O’Neill at Villa Park, but the club insist reports that a new appointment will be made in the next 24 hours are well wide […]

World Cup Diving Video

August 1st, 2006

The football season is getting really close now… and I can barely contain my excitement! The new season will probably be coloured with some of what was seen in the World Cup. Fly away balls, sweaty Puma shirts, Wayne Rooney standing on people’s spuds… and of course… diving. Mof Gimmers technorati tags Football World Cup […]

Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink is finding himself in a bit of bother after he made claims that players received illegal payments after a 2004 Champions League win over Arsenal. JFH will get done for ‘bringing the game into disrepute’ and ‘improper conduct’ if his claims are unsubstantiated. The now Charlton player made 156 appearances for Chelsea […]

So, you celebrate your side scoring a goal… you run to your adoring fans to share the joy. You jump up onto the fence, and the fans go bananas! You then realise that your wedding ring got caught on the fence and ripped your finger off. Then you get booked whilst your mangled hand loses […]

Bloody hell. It’s all hotting up. Aside from Chelsea, it’s all seemed a bit quiet in transfer land, until now! Carrick has gone to Man Urinal, with the club apparently shelling out £18.6 million on him (phew!). So what will Jol spend his money on? Well, it would seem he’s after Gareth Barry (who’d blame […]

Ashley Cole goes for a meal with ‘the special one’. They get caught and the FA smack their legs. Tut tut. ‘Naughty Chelsea. You may well be the richest in the playground, but you can’t go around offering more sweets to the greedy bugger over there.’ And then Cole signs for Chelsea. It certainly seems […]

Chelski have spent loads of money this summer and everyone hates them. They’ve bought Andriy Shevchenko merely as a trophy to parade. Really? Watch this video and beware. He’s great with his bonce AND both feet. Mof Gimmers

How daft are Spurs? You try and convince everyone that you’re a big club with ambition, and then, whilst trying to land a big player (like Damien Duff), you ask a proper big club (like Chelsea) to help out with his wages. Spurs have a wage structure that is seemingly pretty strict. No-one at Spurs […]

In football, sometimes justice is done. A smug goalie taking a penalty, and scoring… then lapping it up with his team-mates and fans… then… well, just watch it. Mof Gimmers

This aint real. Surely it aint. If it is, hats off… but… it isn’t. This is an ace little video showing how creative you can be with an scrunched up bit of paper and a drawn on Wayne Rooney lookalike. Mof Gimmers

Okay. How do you teach Italian football giants a lesson? Seemingly, you offer up a just punishment, and then go all soft and resort to a wrist slap. The extraordinary tale that has slackjawed football fans all over the world has included wire tapped phones, illicit meetings and locking refs in dressing rooms. Lazio and […]

Steve McClaren is brown nosing pretty much everyone in the world at the moment. He’s been sniffing around Alan Shearer’s rear for a while, and cocking a leg up with Terry Venables. The newest bezzie of Stevie Mac is… well… Max Clifford. Clifford, usually the scourge of footballers and their private lives has presumably been […]

10 Great Premiership Goals

July 25th, 2006

I’m getting far too excited thinking about the amazing goals that are going to be scored next season. So to celebrate this, here’s a vid to get your whistle wetter than wet. Mof Gimmers

So, with Chelski’s cash card being flashed around to melting point again (about £50 million and counting), all and sundry are crying and weeping on street corners, claiming that the end of football is nigh. Fans are also being priced out of the game, and players are becoming spoiled little oiks. Is that really true?

Rumour Tuesday

July 24th, 2006

One of the most surprising bits of gossip today is the apparently successful £2.5million bid for Juan Pablo Sorin by Bolton. However, Pompey and Inter are still in the hunt for the Argentina skipper. Glenn Roeder is hopeful of signing German hitman Miroslav Klose, but fears their lack of European football next season will put […]

Aston Villa, who are the biggest joke in football at present, are hopefully going to be even more amusing to all now. When Doug Ellis returns from his holiday, he’ll find an offer from the tremendously named Randy Lerner. When Randy isn’t being laughed at over his name, he’s the stupidly wealthy owner of the […]