You can keep your Panamanian leaks and clandestine doping scandals, because Luis Suarez has delivered an earth-shattering revelation that is sure to rock professional football to its very core.
Suarez, a 29-year-old adult male, chooses to urinate sitting down. Just let that mental image sink in.
Speaking on Uruguayan TV and quoted by The Sun, the Barcelona striker revealed he takes luxury pees, but solely on hygiene grounds:
When peeing I am a clean man. This is an issue of hygiene for me because I have two children.
I do not want it to squirt on the ground, so I pee sitting down.
Nice of him to make his tag line rhyme too – a jaunty little slogan for the sit-down-piss (SDP) movement.