What Is Barcelona’s Best Five-Aside Team?

Ollie Irish

29th, September 2010

9 Comments

By Ollie Irish

If you had to select the best five-aside team from your club’s squad, who would be in it? There can be only five, as they once said in Highlander (sort of).

With the fives of Arsenal and Aston Villa tucked safely in our shorts, today is the turn of the mighty, awesome, godlike, we-are-not-worthy Barcelona. So much talent to choose from, but which five stars make the cut? Read on…

VICTOR VALDES – Obviously, though it seems to waste 20% of any Barca side on a keeper. VV is a safe pair of hands, usually. Next…

GERARD PIQUE – ‘Piquenbauer’ is a lovely passer of the ball – so important in five-aside, of course – and he has a surprisingly good eye for goal, no matter how tight the angle. So his progressiveness earns him a call-up ahead of the likes of Dani Alves and Carles Puyol (a bit too ragged for the short game?). And yes, I was tempted to play him as a rush keeper.

XAVI – Essential. Just doesn’t give the ball away, and is fitter and more muscular than you might think of such a cultured player. In this photo, you can clearly see his junk. Which is nice.

ANDRES INIESTA – A genius at close quarters, and has a near-telepathic relationship with Xavi. They’d form a twin-headed five-aside nightmare for any defender. Tika and Taka, if you like.

LIONEL MESSI – Gulp. Sweet baby Jesus, what a five-aside team Barca could field – and still no room for David Villa! And with Xavi, Iniesta and Messi around, is there any need for a keeper? They’d never lose the ball. Ping ping ping ping… goal. Repeat until opponents become demoralised.

Agree/disagree with our selection? Let’s see what you’ve got…

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9 Comments

  1. Ahmed Umair says:

    GK: Valdes
    DF: Xavi (because how big can a 5-a-side field could be)
    MF: Iniesta, Messi
    ST: Villa

    subs: Pique, Pedro

  2. Patrick says:

    I have differed with your selections on the Villa and Arsenal 5s (by at least two players) but on this one, I think it’d be dumb to suggest otherwise, I second this select

  3. J says:

    There’s no need for an actual keeper with these. They’d always play with an «advanced goalkeeper» which would be Pique, the most deep of them. Coming in for Victor would be Pedro, of course, as his ambidexterous footwork in those 1m² situations would dazzle us all.

  4. Gruff says:

    I actually think I’d be inclined to go for masch over piqué, and pinto over valdes. Assilly as it sounds, he loves a run about, and handles low shots as well as any keeper I’ve seen, which is obviously the most important thing in a 5a side net.

  5. KakaHislop says:

    Valdes – Obviously.
    Pique – Like Chewbacca with footskills.
    Keita – Gets back, gets forward.
    Xavi – Obviously.
    Messi – Double obviously.

    Iniesta gets left out because, aside from some memorable goals, he actually doesn’t score very often. Keita’s got the box to box hustle you need in 5-A-Side, plus a better goal scoring record than Iniesta in under a third of the appearances.

  6. skaryguy says:

    Lets face it, anyone who’s played 5-a-side knows you usually have quite a heavy rotation policy going on continuously…I’d start with the 5 mentioned, but imagine the fact that they’d have Villa, Pedro, Alves, Busquets AND Mascherano on the bench. It’d be one hell of a team to beat.

  7. MR. T says:

    I COULD BEAT IT. AFTER ALL, I’M MR.T.
    I PITY THE FOO WHO PLAYS ME. I DO I DO. I PITY THE FOO

  8. PhilandoTorres says:

    That 5-a-side team could beat most full teams. On a full pitch. And with superior possession stats.

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