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Who ate all the pies

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Arsenal

Arsenal: All the latest Arsenal flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Little Britain comedian Matt Lucas finds a way to get Cesc Fabregas and Philippe Senderos interested in his team-talk in this viral for Nike. The video also features another plug for Fabregas’ forthcoming TV show.

Depending on who you listen to, Arsenal have discovered either the new Dennis Bergkamp, the new Liam Brady, the new Alex Hleb or the new Cesc Fabregas. No matter which of these players’ shadows you choose to impose over 16-year-old Jack Wilshere, the amount of saliva emanating from the mouths of Arsenal fans is equal. His performance this week against West Ham in a reserve match has left many Gunners urging Arsene Wenger to ‘do a Cesc’ and draft WIlshere into the first-team despite his tender years.

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Come with me, Pies readers, on a journey through time and space. Well, a journey inside the brain of Matthieu Flamini actually. The Frenchman’s logic has got me a little baffled so I’m hoping that we will be able to piece together some answers between us.

Probably the funniest football-related GIF Pies has seen this week. Don’t ask us to explain it… just enjoy it. Thanks to Guardian’s Football Weekly for the spot.

Sir Alex Ferguson is getting on, Arsene Wenger hasn’t won anything for three seasons, Rafa Benitez seems pissed off at the whole Hicks vs Gillett/Parry circus (can you blame him?) and Avram Grant can do no right, even when he does no wrong. So which of the big four’s gaffers do you think will leave […]

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It seems a foregone conclusion that the Premier League will lose one of its greatest characters/moaners this summer. Jens Lehmann has made no secret of his woes at Arsenal, and has had no problems in voicing concerns about those who upset him. Pies looks at Jens’ guide to making friends and influencing people.

Liverpool must repay £31.5 million to banking institutions in little more than a year or risk having to sell Fernando Torres and Ryan Babel! Yeah, can’t see that happening. The Times Avram Grant gives the silent treatment to newspaper journalists after Chelsea’s win at Everton. Daily Mail Hicks vs Gillett, round 1,268: George Gillett issued […]

Today’s top football stories… Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra (pictured) will conduct a review of the club as speculation mounts about manager Sven-Goran Eriksson’s future. Thaksin has revealed he is unhappy with City’s showing in the second half of the Premier League season. BBC Sport David Villa is ready to snub Chelsea and move to […]

Arsenal need a hardman, an enforcer, a leader – they are a beautiful young team but they have no ugly side, unless you count petulance as ugly. Chelsea have John Terry, Man Utd have Rio Ferdinand (not to mention Gary Neville and others) – both men will gladly kick their own players up the arse […]

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres believes that the Primera Liga is stronger than the Premier League. “In England the top four are better than the ones in Spain, above all when it comes to consistency,” Torres told Radio Marca. “Apart from that, the rest of the teams in the Primera Liga are stronger as they have […]

Arsenal’s season is officially over with Arsene Wenger typically complaining that the best team in the country will finish without silverware for yet another season.
The manager insists his responsibility is to deliver beautiful football to entertain the supporters, but how much longer will either the fans or the players be prepared to wait for his footballing ideal to deliver trophies?

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1 What a match! Thrilling, pulsating action and a couple of great goals. An old fashioned English cup tie, Champions League style.

Arsenal vs Liverpool (7.45pm BST)
The battle of Britain commences with the first of three games in succession between these two teams. Arsenal will have to decide whether to move Eboue back into defence in place of the injured Bacary Sagna while Liverpool will continue with their latest system of using Gerrard in the hole behind the in-form Fernando Torres.

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Pies had long suspected that Arsene Wenger viewed Arsenal as the French Embassy in London. And what have we here? Monsieur Wenger is now hosting state visits from French President Nicolas Sarkozy at the Emirates Stadium.

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Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor has been branded Samson by The Sun because he has lost his goalscoring powers since having his haircut. The Togolese forward ditched his trademark beaded hairstyle last month and has not scored a Premier League goal.

You are England so you have to speak English.” No wonder Lassana Diarra couldn’t wait to quit Chelsea. Just look at this relentless bullying. Apparently Geremi is Diarra’s father!

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1 Arsenal will fancy their chances of winning the Champions League now. It was an incredible victory for them.

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Pies analyses possible reasons why Arsenal captain William Gallas chose to hold a sit down protest in the centre circle after the draw with Birmingham at the weekend.
1 Laziness
It could just be that he was worn out after the match
2 World peace
An old favourite. Lennon may play for Spurs, but Willie Gallas can still do his bit.
3 Campaign for comfier football pitches
Gallas raises awareness that Premier League football pitches are not very comfortable to sit on. Maybe more players would enjoy a nice sit down at full-time if the pitches were more cushioned.

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Thankfully over the course of the weekend the needless posturing that followed Eduardo’s horrific leg-break against Birmingham seems to have settled down. The thoughts of Pies and every right thinking football fan are with the little Croatian-Brazilian as he battles to save his career. I have watched the stomach-churning footage of the incident a few times and it is clear that Martin Taylor did not intend to inflict the injury on Eduardo.

Cesc bats away Mr CNN’s questions with the expertise of a veteran politician. Links: Arsenal Pies

I noted with interest that Arseblogger doesn’t seem massively bothered about tonight’s Arsenal vs Milan game. He writes: ‘Personally I’m a bit indifferent about the CL this season, it would be nice for the lads to have a good run, but I’ve got all eyes (yes, I said “all”) on the league title this season.’ […]

I always like to see one of the big four taken down a peg, and so I smiled when both Arsenal and Liverpool crashed out of the FA Cup at the weekend. The manner of their defeats was very different. The Gooners might have expected to lose at Old Trafford, but even their fans must […]

This video shows Manchester United’s Nani showing off his circus tricks against Arsenal. Unsurprisingly the Arsenal players start to get a teeny bit frustrated.

For Arsenal this was always more about the points than the performance. An early goal by Phillippe Senderos and a late goal by Emmanuel Adebayor – who is fast playing himself onto the Player of the Season shortlist – did the damage, but Rovers made them work for it, even if there was only ever […]