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Who ate all the pies

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Arsenal

Arsenal: All the latest Arsenal flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Getting a footballer to sign a photo, then revealing it’s a photo of that player missing a penalty: priceless. I’m glad these Gooners got so much enjoyment from such a lame stunt. They’re easily pleased, clearly. Watch the reveal, if you care.

Arthur Lemarcus Banks III (aka Marcus Banks) plays basketball in the NBA for Toronto Raptors. He does indeed look a bit like Billy Gallas. That is all. Thanks to Pies reader Ben for sending in this SL. Good spot, sir. Think you can do better than Ben? Email Pies with your unlikely lookalikes.

This is how the Fair Play table looked at the end of the 08/09 season (click to enlarge). It’s judged on the following criteria: R/Y = Red/Yellow cards (three pts for a red, one for a yellow), max. of 10 pts per match P/P = Positive Play, max. 10 pts per match R/O = Respect […]

Arshavin: “Pick me, pick me!” Fabregas: “Shut up, you’ve only been here for five minutes…” Tis the season for buying and selling, so I thought I’d ask you, who’s the last player at your club you’d sell? Arsenal fans, you start us off (seeing as how you’re first in the Prem alphabet and all)… It’s […]

Arsenal are close to signing Thomas Vermaelen for around £10m. But will the highly rated Ajax centre-back turn out to be the new Tony Adams, or the next Philippe Senderos? From what I’ve seen of the 23-year-old Belgian (on YouTube mostly) he can’t properly be compared to either Adams or Senderos. Vermaelen is a much […]

Um, no “Why Arsene Wenger may decide to cash in on Cesc Fabregas this summer.” Or, why the Mirror will write any old tosh to bait Gooners (ah, there’s a paper after Pies’ cold heart). A Mirror hack called Steve Stammers (seriously?) penned an article about how Arsene Wenger might consider selling Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal’s […]

Cesc is lonely, crying out for Xabi Alonso “Attractive, slim Spanish guy seeks partner for weekend strolls in the park. Must be world-class, have GSOH.” Neither Abou Diaby, Alex Song nor Denilson are good enough - yet, at least - to partner Cesc Fabregas at the heart of Arsenal’s midfield. I’m sure that’s the view of Cesc […]

Who didn’t last the course? Deco (Chelsea) It all started as planned: Deco scored a screamer on his Chelsea debut, at home to Pompey in the August sunshine, but it was quickly downhill after that. The Ronnie Corbett-faced Brazilian has been unlucky with a string of niggling injuries, but in no way can he be […]

Sartorial excellence? Hmm, no Look at the fancy Gooners! They may be rubbish at winning silver, trophy-shaped things, but they’re at the cutting-egde when it comes to announcing their new kit, as this embedded video shows. (And I didn’t realise Arshavin was so much shorter than Fabregas.) We put up a leaked photo of the […]

Mmm-hmm, that is a tasty burger As spotted by ITV’s Clive Tyldesley, I think, during the commentary on one of Arsenal’s Champions League matches this season. More Shit Lookalikes

Madrid already in talks to make Wenger their new boss According to Guillem Balague’s website, Real Madrid have “set wheels in motion” to sign Arsene Wenger as their new manager. Balague writes: “An alternative source claims that Wenger has spoken personally with Florentino Perez last week, possibly by telephone: with further conversations set to take […]

Gender equality yet to reach Russia, clearly “If my wife’s car drive into group of gypsies, will there be any damage to car? Very nice!” God love Andrey Arshavin and his old-school, Borat-esque sexism. In an interview with the Daily Mail this week, the Russian refused an opportunity to at least pretend that he thinks […]

Ouch, that is nasty This is a leaked photo (montage) of Arsenal’s away kit for the 2009/10 season. First thing you notice… it’s blue, like the sort of blue worn by bitter rivals Spurs. Second thing you notice, it looks cheap and nasty. That’s what I think, anyway. Some of you might dig the colour and […]

Arsenal lose again, Chelsea bounce back In the wake of Tom Henning Ovrebo-Gate, I thought Chelsea might suffer more when it came to this battle of the Champions League losers, but I was way wrong. Guus Hiddink’s team came to north London and stuffed Arsenal on their own patch, to cap a truly crappy week […]

RTE pundits > all other pundits As ever, RTE’s excellent gang of football experts shame the likes of Messrs Lawrenson, Townsend and Claridge. Favourite moment: when Souey asks Dunphy which clubs he has managed. Bold chat there, Graeme - your managerial track record isn’t very good. More classic Dunphy: Calling BBC pundits “clowns” Slagging off Cristiano […]

Who will win the battle of the Champions League bridesmaids? Someone got busy on Photoshop. A smug Man Utd fan, perhaps? [Thanks to Jamironad for the tip] Seen any more funny football virals? Drop me a line, Pies would love to hear from you

Ex-ref says Roberto Rosetti was right to show red card to Man Utd player That’s right folks, Poll says Fletcher deserved to be sent off in last night’s CL semi. The Scot will now miss the final. In his Daily Mail column, Poll wrote:

Arsenal’s FAIL cake

May 6th, 2009

May taste bitter… It’s a moist sponge cake coated with disappointment and filled with false hope. Delicious.

Yah, real good now One likes pancakes, killing people and Marlboro cigarettes. The other is Arsenal’s goalkeeper. Thanks to Kipp for this one. Yah. More Shit Lookalikes

The best reaction to United’s walk in the park “It was 11 men against 11 babies. We never doubted ourselves.” Patrice Evra gets cocky after the event “It is the most disappointing night of my career. I felt the fans were really up for a big night and to disappoint people who stand behind the […]

Last night’s game reviewed in handy list format 1. What sound does a one-armed man clapping make? Or the sound of a massive anticlimax? I imagine it’s similar to the noise inside the Emirates after 11 minutes, when the game was effectively killed off by C-Ron’s 40-yard free-kick (great strike but Manuel Almunia should have […]

Gooners, look away now My 10 conclusions on the match coming soon…

Arsene Wenger is sad

May 6th, 2009

Twenty-five minutes into last night’s Champions League semi final, Arsenal’s manager faces the harsh reality that his team is not yet good enough to compete at the highest level.

What does Arsenal’s gaffer know that no one else does?