I know that Arsenal fans’ love of Pascal Cygan (who’s off to Villareal) is laced with a healthy amount of irony, but I thought he wasn’t that bad…

Thank Christ that’s over. The facts: 1) Cashley Cole is now a Chelsea player. Hmm, I may have to lose Wayne Bridge from my fantasy team. And I’d only just signed him. Bah. 2) William Gallas is now an Arsenal player. Arsenal are also £5m richer. Would you rather be Arsenal or Chelsea on this [...]

The summer transfer window will close tomorrow, blown firmly shut by a chilly, autumnal gust. Several big-name British clubs haven’t finished spending though. Panic buying, anyone? Here are the five hottest transfer rumours:1 Ashley Cole is stuck at ArsenalArgghhhh! Jesus wept, does anyone still care about the Cole/Chelsea/Arsenal love triangle? If you do, at least [...]

‘It is such a pity we loaned out Bendtner because you feel this kid is the whole package. He is Henry, Adebayor and Van Persie all rolled into one!’ [Soccerlens]‘There will be some criticisms about our reluctance to shoot and this week I think they’re justified to an extent. While there’s not much point trying [...]

Canada-based Pies reader Dan O’Leary used his mobile to snap this picture, which clearly shows Robin van Persie moonlighting as the face of Nestle Drumsticks (‘a bit like a Cornetto,’ Dan tells us). Does Arsene Wenger know?

The best climax to a league season ever. Amazing, shattering, dramatic – words hardly do it justice (and I’m not even a Gooner). Teams just didn’t go to Anfield in the 1980s and win 2-0. Arsenal did. This result signified the end of a remarkable era for Liverpool.

One of the greatest goals in FA Cup history. What a run, what a goal, what a chest rug! (Gooners, look away now)

Ashley Cole is NOT in Arsenal’s squad for their Premiership opener against Aston Villa, despite claiming he is available to play. Ooh, the plot thickens. Can we assume that this means a deal has been struck with Chelsea? If so, why hasn’t it been announced yet? Arseblog, who usually know what the craic is, seems [...]

So the Cashley Cole saga drags on. This seems to have been going on longer than Big Brother, and somehow, it’s managed to be more farcical. "Our offer is an excellent offer for an excellent player. It’s in their hands. They say no and no is no," said Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho in the latest [...]

Does he indeed? The cheeky sod. It’s a sad sign of the shift in power in football when a top player feels free to go to the national press – The Sun, in this case – and demand his manager makes some new signings. I respect Thierry Henry, but this outburst serves only to undermine [...]

It would seem that Arsene Wenger reads Who Ate All The Pies. Why? Yesterday I wrote about my longing for Cashley Cole to sort himself out, and just bugger off to Chelsea. Well, Arsene said "I do not know what will happen with Ashley Cole in the next few days, but for me certainly the [...]

For some reason, I can’t find any pictures of Ashley Cole in a Chelsea shirt. You may well be saying "Aaaaaahhh… but he plays for Arsenal…". Well I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t think it would you?  You see, Cole is in the centre of one of the most drawn out transfer sagas ever. The latest [...]

With reports that Patrick Viera is set for a return to the Premiership with Man Urinals, its worth recalling this tender moment between Paddy V and Roy Keane in the tunnel at Highbury. A big girly Roy Keane didn’t like big scary Patrick ‘shoutin’ his f**kin’ mouth off at Gary Neville", so they had a [...]

Arsene Wenger doesn’t want rivals Chelsea to sign Ashley Cole (understandable), so instead he’s offered his star left-back to Real Madrid. A crafty move by Arsenal’s boss [Football 365]Birmingham manager Steve Bruce keen on Bolton’s Radhi Jaidi [The Sun]AC Milan to offer £68m for Ronaldinho. Yeah, right [Guardian]Tottenham still want Pascal Chimbonda, will offer Andy [...]

Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink is finding himself in a bit of bother after he made claims that players received illegal payments after a 2004 Champions League win over Arsenal. JFH will get done for ‘bringing the game into disrepute’ and ‘improper conduct’ if his claims are unsubstantiated. The now Charlton player made 156 appearances for Chelsea [...]

Bloody hell. It’s all hotting up. Aside from Chelsea, it’s all seemed a bit quiet in transfer land, until now! Carrick has gone to Man Urinal, with the club apparently shelling out £18.6 million on him (phew!). So what will Jol spend his money on? Well, it would seem he’s after Gareth Barry (who’d blame [...]

Ashley Cole goes for a meal with ‘the special one’. They get caught and the FA smack their legs. Tut tut. ‘Naughty Chelsea. You may well be the richest in the playground, but you can’t go around offering more sweets to the greedy bugger over there.’ And then Cole signs for Chelsea. It certainly seems [...]

The big shock to me is that Ashley Cole comes across as marginally less wooden than his Geordie missus. The way she says ‘We’re engaged’, you’d think she doesn’t have a clue what ‘We’re engaged’ means. At least the glint in Cole’s eye makes him look like he’s semi-aware of the ridiculousness of the celebrity [...]

Arsene Wenger‘s childish feud with Sir Alex Ferguson scaled new heights of pettiness  – it emerged recently that the Arsenal manager refused to appear in a tribute programme to the Man Utd boss. Fergie celebrates 20 years in charge of the club in November 2006, and MUTV are putting together a tribute programme to the [...]

Shame the first goal at the Emirates Stadium wasn’t scored by Dennis Bergkamp in his testimonial match – or any Arsenal player, for that matter – but this cross from the left wing was too good to miss out on:

Look familiar? I’m not an Arsenal fan, but it’s good to see them playing in red and white again. Kitbag has the new Arsenal home kit here. P.S. Nuff respect to Edgar Davids, who played for old club Ajax in Dennis Bergkamp’s testimonial at the new Emirates Stadium this weekend. Davids was inevitably booed every [...]

I love the childish, slightly camp tug-of-love battles that go on between the big clubs at this time of the year. They always follow the same script:Real Madrid: ‘Ooh, I like the look of young Cesc. Such a nice boy…’Arsenal: ‘Get your eyes off him, you big Spanish bully – he’s mine, all mine and [...]

Of all the Premiership’s 20 clubs, it’s Arsenal who currently dominate the transfer rumour mill. If you believe the tabloids (and indeed the broadsheets), Arsene Wenger is about to to sign (deep breath…) Stephen Appiah, Franck Ribery, Javier Saviola (pictured), Gigi Buffon, Curtis Davies and Yaya Toure. I reckon that just two of these players [...]

Arsenal’s £10m bid for Marseille’s French winger Franck Ribery (pictured) will be dwarfed by a £26m Real Madrid offer. [The Guardian]Real Madrid also want Man Utd defender Gabriel Heinze, for £10m. Is that steam coming out of Fergie’s ears? [The Sun]Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger ready to pounce for Gigi Buffon (as a Jens Lehmann replacement), [...]

Stephen Appiah, captain of Ghana, had a storming World Cup and it now looks likely that he could end up playing in the Premiership come August. Appiah’s agent (dontcha just love agents?), one Frank Trimboli, claims that several English clubs are interested in the 25-year-old midfielder, including a couple that have qualified for the Champions [...]