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Who ate all the pies

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Arsenal

Arsenal: All the latest Arsenal flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Euro links for your enjoyment C-Ron voted the hottest player involved in Euro 2008, according to poll of 12,000 women (he hasn’t slept with them all). [MSN Sport] Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy’s opening goal in the win over Italy was legitimate, says Premier League referees’ chief Keith Hackett. So there. [BBC] And some non-Euro […]

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THEN: John Jensen’s inability to find the net became legendary during his time at Arsenal, and yet it was he who opened the scoring in the Euro 1992 final against Germany. The goal, it seemed, prompted Arsenal manager George Graham to move for Jensen, although the transfer later became embroiled in the bung investigation that saw Graham sacked. Jensen only scored one goal in his time with the Gunners, against QPR in his 98th match for the club. He had become the subject of the chant, “We’ll be there when Jensen scores” due to his bad luck in front of goal. He left Highbury in 1996, but played on for six years in his homeland with Brondby and Herfølge.

Dennis Pennis creator Paul Kaye on top form, as ever Give Paul Kaye a knighthood now. Or an OBE, at least. More Paul Kaye football vids… Kaye as Labian Quest, football chant composer Kaye gives hooligan lessons in self-defence (classic)

AC Milan’s new signing not good enough for France, apparently France coach Raymond Domenech obviously disagrees with the judgment of Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger. Mathieu Flamini, much coveted by Wenger, has been left out of France’s 23-man squad for Euro 2008, whereas Lassana Diarra, let go by Wenger, has been included. So, a Portsmouth player […]

Shit Kits: Arsenal, 1991

May 29th, 2008
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This Arsenal away kit is a high profile example of a Shit Kit. The sickly yellow and black outfit donned by the Gunners in the early 1990s has been confined to history as the ‘bruised banana’ shirt (for obvious reasons). Arsenal have had a few dangerous flirtations with the colour yellow, but this effort is by far the worst.

Is this what Arsenal will be wearing next season? This is a “leaked” photo of Arsenal’s new home and away kits for the 2008/09 campaign. It’s been floating around the web for a while now, but I’m still suspicious of the photos’ authenticity. To my eyes, the kits look unfinished, amateurish even – especially for […]

Arsenal are on the verge of signing French youngster Samir Nasri so we had better give you the lowdown.

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Name Samir Nasri
Age 20
Nationality French
Club history Marseille

Transfer truths or sneaky speculation from bored hacks? You decide.

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1. Samir Nasri to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger has launched an £11 million bid to bring the new Zidane to the Emirates. Nasri wants to make the move and the only stumbling block is Marseille’s masterplan that they might get Hatem Ben Arfa in a swap deal if they sell to Lyon instead.

Location, location, location – should it matter to a professional footballer? It’s grim up north, so they say. They might have a point – for example, here’s the best pic I could find of the Middlesbrough skyline (with apologies to Jeff Stelling, who I would not want to upset). There’s no doubt that in the […]

Monday’s most attractive transfer gossip. Surely one of these might happen? 1. Samuel Eto’o to Spurs Tottenham have outbid Italian giants AC Milan and Inter for the mouthy Barcelona striker (pictured). The Yids will go up to £24m for the Cameroon international – that’s £8m more than the Italian sides are prepared to pay. [Epping […]

Today’s hotter-than-July lies… 1. Mauro Zarate to Arsenal The on-loan Birmingham star (pictured) is on the wish list of one big-four club, at least according to his agent. I guess it’s Arsenal who want him, as an Eduardo replacement. [Setanta] 2. Jonny Evans to Sunderland Roy Keane is reported to have bid £5m for United’s […]

First in a new series celebrating the Premier League’s biggest ingrates Hardly anyone had heard of Alex Hleb before he came to Arsenal, in 2005 – he was a nothing player, playing in Germany for a mediocre club (Stuttgart). He was pretty shit in his first season, not a lot better in his second, and […]

This 3rd Eye clip from Soccer AM show Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor doing a high energy pre-match dance routine. He seems to be enjoying himself anyway!

Pies rates each Premier League team based on the 07/08 campaign Arsenal (3rd) Played some quite beautiful football at times but faded badly in the last quarter of the season, after leading the pack – Arsene Wenger should have added to his squad in January. Still, to finish just two points behind Chelsea and four […]

The quality of this video is very poor, but the quality of the goal is outstanding. Arsenal’s super Swede Anders Limpar slows down to weigh up his options, spots the keeper off his line and does the business!

Arsenal boss wants to buy central defender & playmaker in the summer. Who should he target? Arsene Wenger has admitted he wants to strengthen his young Arsenal squad, specifically with two key summer signings: one centre-back and one creative midfielder. So I’m asking you to advise Monsieur W on which two players to go for. […]

Mad Jens interviewed after final appearance for Gunners So long Jens, we’ll miss you and your crazy ways. Seriously, the Prem will be a less interesting place without you. More Jens YouTube goodness below…

Arsenal star plays keepy-up whilst ablaze! Does Arsene Wenger know that his most valuable player is getting up to such antics away from the Emirates? Cesc will do anything to promote his TV show for his Nike paymasters. But is it actually Fabregas on fire, or just more digital wizardry. I suspect it might be […]

Stop the press! C-Ron has won the PFA Player of the Year, for the second year in a row – no surprise there. Ronaldo was not present in person to collect the trophy ahead of tomorrow’s crucial Champions League semi-final against Barcelona at Old Trafford. But he was shown on a video screen accepting his […]

Little Britain comedian Matt Lucas finds a way to get Cesc Fabregas and Philippe Senderos interested in his team-talk in this viral for Nike. The video also features another plug for Fabregas’ forthcoming TV show.

Depending on who you listen to, Arsenal have discovered either the new Dennis Bergkamp, the new Liam Brady, the new Alex Hleb or the new Cesc Fabregas. No matter which of these players’ shadows you choose to impose over 16-year-old Jack Wilshere, the amount of saliva emanating from the mouths of Arsenal fans is equal. His performance this week against West Ham in a reserve match has left many Gunners urging Arsene Wenger to ‘do a Cesc’ and draft WIlshere into the first-team despite his tender years.

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Come with me, Pies readers, on a journey through time and space. Well, a journey inside the brain of Matthieu Flamini actually. The Frenchman’s logic has got me a little baffled so I’m hoping that we will be able to piece together some answers between us.

Probably the funniest football-related GIF Pies has seen this week. Don’t ask us to explain it… just enjoy it. Thanks to Guardian’s Football Weekly for the spot.

Sir Alex Ferguson is getting on, Arsene Wenger hasn’t won anything for three seasons, Rafa Benitez seems pissed off at the whole Hicks vs Gillett/Parry circus (can you blame him?) and Avram Grant can do no right, even when he does no wrong. So which of the big four’s gaffers do you think will leave […]