JT misplaces dummy

In the weekend’s second-best comedy moment, Le Sulk nailed Villa’s gaffer

Who in the whole of Villa Park is this mystery man?

Got an idea who this Villa player is?

Many Villa fans are starting to wonder if Martin O’Neill is actually the managerial messiah so many people have claimed him to be. O’Neill had a very poor summer, losing some of his best players and then failing miserably to replace them.

After a summer of big sales but no big signings, this is a photo that will brighten every Villa fan’s day - Leeds fans tell me the boy is a bit special. Still, Martin O’Neill mustn’t stop there. Villa still have a thin squad and need at least two more players before the summer transfer window [...]

I was trawling through Press Association’s photo archive and came across these amazing pics of a couple of young footballers who were clearly very much in love… Heart-meltingly beautiful. MORE FOOTBALL LOVE STORIES John Terry and Frank Lampard: a football love story, in photos Cristiano Ronaldo and Ole-Gunnar Solskjaer Christian Vieri and Paolo Maldini Xabi [...]

Proof that Aston Villa’s new signing looks suspiciously like one of Villa’s former players. As spotted by… me. Go me. Got a lookalike for the Pies? Email me with your shout.

It’s fairly safe to say that Stewart Downing is on his way to the Villa, for a reported fee of £12m. For all those fans who slag off Downing - there is something of the victim about him that makes him an easy target - they should remember that Glen Johnson cost £18m… Villa and Downing will [...]

A simple vote, just because I’d be interested to see which fans ‘win’. (I know who my money is on, just as I know who I’d vote for - every time - but I won’t say just now.) So let it out… which team’s fans do you find the most irritating, self-righteous, idiotic etc? Vote below: Which of [...]

The terrible rumour that Villa fans awoke to this morning claimed that Martin O’Neill is about to sign Titus Bramble. Reports in today’s Daily Star say that O’Neill will offer Wigan Athletic around £3.5m, plus teenage midfielder Barry Bannan for the much-maligned centre-back. As you might expect, plenty of Villa fans are not best pleased [...]

Football scenes you won’t see in 09/10, No.1532 The enforced loss of Martin Laursen was regrettable. The same goes for the departure of Gareth Barry. But the loss of Ashley Young (who you voted overwhelmingly as Villa’s most indispensable player) would be nothing short of disastrous for Martin O’Neill and co. Marca, amongst other sources, [...]

Place your bets… All bets are off on Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo, but there are still many star names whose futures remain unclear. Join Pies for a game of Transfer Roulette:

Last week, Gooners voted to keep Cesc Fabregas at Arsenal, with Andrey Arshavin in second. Fabregas and Arshavin accounted for more than 70% of the vote, so it seems fairly clear which players mean the most to the club’s fans. Now we have the same question for Villa fans: if you had to sell all [...]

A witty Villa fan’s attempt to deface a poster of the club’s ex-skipper. Fail And so Gareth Barry joins the sorry ranks of British football traitors, along with all the other Judas Iscariots who had the nerve to leave one football club to join a different football club. And he only gave them 11 years [...]

OK, a couple of things: 1) I’ve never seen Gareth Barry celebrate with a rubbish forward flip. He’s way too dull to do something so exuberant. 2) Surely it would take more than a forearm to put down Big John Carew? 3) At least FIFA’s collision detection works. This wouldn’t happen in Pro Evo Soccer, [...]

Barry will never wear Villa’s lovely new away kit in anger Man City don’t do long, drawn-out transfer sagas. Leave that to Real Madrid et al. Their move to sign Gareth Barry was ruthlessly and swiftly executed. Few people saw it coming, and I guess there are more than a few irate Villa fans wondering [...]

Yanic Truesdale is a Canadian actor best known for his portrayal of Michel Gerard in the TV series Gilmore Girls, which I can safely say I’ve never watched. I have watched Gabby Agbonlahor though, scampering down the wing as fast as his little legs will take him. Cheers to Kath McPherson for sending this one [...]

Villa unveil pinstriped away kit. Eees nice This is Aston Villa’s new away shirt for the 2009/10 season. As you can see, it’s made by Nike, it’s very stripey (though the stripes are subtle) and I think it looks rather smart. I much prefer it to other Swooshy designs I’ve seen for next season (Arsenal’s [...]

Who didn’t last the course? Deco (Chelsea) It all started as planned: Deco scored a screamer on his Chelsea debut, at home to Pompey in the August sunshine, but it was quickly downhill after that. The Ronnie Corbett-faced Brazilian has been unlucky with a string of niggling injuries, but in no way can he be [...]

Mark Hughes embarrassed by home defeat Man City lost at home to Danish side FC Midtjylland in the first leg of their Uefa Cup qualifier last night. It’s a rule in European football that you should always beat a team that you can’t pronounce – City failed miserably there. Sparky’s boys should still turn the [...]

Friday’s news and rumours Paul Ince struggling to make friends at Blackburn? [BBC] Martin O’Neill cup-ties Gareth Barry. Screw you, Rafa [The Sun] Wayne Rooney fit for Man Utd opener v Newcastle [Mail] Adrian Mutu ordered by Fifa to pay £13.8m in damages to Chelsea, for failed drug test. It’s the biggest fine ever given [...]

Aston Villa’s new signing from Rangers can’t wait to get his teeth into the new Premier League season. Carlos Cuellar does share the same dentist as Jaws (and Ugly Betty).