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Who ate all the pies

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WAGs & Babes

WAGs & Babes: An in-depth scientific examination of the lovely ladies that pepper the modern game.

Stevie G’s wife is on the left. The monumental waste of skin that is Paris Hilton is on the right. But they are starting to look very similar, n’est ce pas?

I think I’m in love with Laura Esposto, presenter of Channel Five’s Football Italiano. Damn, she makes Gabby Logan look like Clare Balding. That is all.

Sky’s Clare Tomlinson, one of the better female football broadcasters in the country, has been signed off work on medical grounds for an expected two months due to stress and depression. Just so we’re clear, and Sky’s lawyers don’t come-a-knocking, it’ been made clear that Tomlinson had not been disciplined for her part in the […]

From Spurs Pies, our Tottenham-obsessed sister site… Nice to see Les Ferdinand is spending his days in retirement usefully and let’s face it, he’s got plenty in common with these ladies. They look great up front and have a couple of strikers to rival those who played alongside Sir Les during his career. The girls […]

‘We went to the (training) base, because women in football are a scourge. They do not understand that men need to work, that they have a hard job to do.’ That’s Dynamo Kiev coach Josef Sabo, when he was asked by a (female) reporter at a news conference about his decision to move the team […]

Name Imogen Thomas Nationality Welsh WAG of… According to the respected newspaper that is the Star, Imogen is dating Reading’s Ibrahim Sonko. A Z-list star with a B-list footballer. She says: ‘Ibrahim’s great and we’ve been having great fun for the two-and-a-half months we’ve been together but I am an independent woman and I make […]

Victoria Beckham was snapped recently wearing this puffy dress, which, as one Popbitch board user spotted, made her look uncannily like an orange version of Sesame Street’s Big Bird.

Although I’ve read the transcript, this is the first time I’ve seen the video of Hope Solo’s rant at coach Ryan. You can hear the emotion in her voice, the big girl’s blouse: PS I know the Hope Solo story is old now, but it still intrigues me. Plus, she’s kind of hot… and single.

US women’s goalie Hope Solo needs a little love right now. After her rant at US Women’s coach Greg Ryan, who had benched her in favour of Briana Scurry for the World Cup semi final against Brazil (which the US lost 3-0), she was cast out by Ryan and ostracised by team-mates. Solo played no […]

Ariane Hingst, Birgit Prinz and Kerstin Stegemann celebrate on the balcony of Frankfurt’s city hall after returning home from the women’s World Cup in China, which they won. The team played the entire tournament without conceding a single goal, a remarkable feat. Great to see such a large crowd turn out to greet them, too. […]

Having seen earlier today what Marta looks like wearing traditional Bavarian dress, it’s time to see what she looks like wearing not very much at all. It’s also clear that she deserves her own WAG of the Week slot: Name Marta Cecchetto Nationality Italian WAG of… Bayern Munich’s Italian striker Luca Toni (pictured with Cecchetto, […]

Franck Ribery is smiling on the outside, but inside he is surely thinking, ‘Why the hell did I sign for Bayern Munich?’ Oh my sweet lord, I didn’t think it was possible for Ribery, who is without any doubt the World’s Ugliest Professional Footballer, to look any worse than he normally does, but put him […]

German players Petra Wimbersky and Sandra Smisek celebrate their team’s win in the Women’s World Cup final against Brazil with a few well-earned beers at the Hua Ting team hotel in Shanghai, China. Damn, there’s nothing sexier than a German woman who can hold her drink. Photo Christof Koepsel/Bongarts/Getty Images More on Germany’s success at […]

Name Nagore Nationality Spanish WAG of… Liverpool pass master Xabi Alonso. The pair are childhood sweethearts and are expecting their first child. Fame ranking 1/10 Unlike some WAGs, and much like her modest boyfriend, Nagore is more than happy to stay out of the tabloid spotlight. Babe ranking 8/10 Looks uncannily like Penelope Cruz, which […]

When Greg Ryan, the MacGyveresque head coach of America’s women, chose to ‘bench’ goalkeeper Hope Solo, who had kept three consecutive clean sheets, he sowed the seeds of his team’s first defeat in three years. You just don’t mess with success, and Ryan’s crazy decision to drop the in-form Solo and bring in veteran Briana […]

The girl’s a bit special. Marta, the No.10 of Brazil’s women’s team, ran the show in her country’s 4-0 demolition of the USA in their World Cup semi final yesterday, and scored this wonderful goal, her second of the night, to cap a woman-of-the-match performance. Ronaldinho would have been proud of the turn that sent […]

A major shock in the second semi of the Women’s World Cup, as the States were spanked by Brazil, in a scoreline you’d expect to see in the men’s game. The US never had a chance once Shannon Boxx was sent off, for a second yellow card, in first-half injury time – it was, reportedly, […]

Just as England are perennial quarter finalists, so Germany are, depressingly, perennial finalists. Their women have just eased past Norway to reach the final of the 2007 Women’s World Cup. Norway started well and should have been level at half-time, but they couldn’t take their chances. Three-nil is a slightly unfair scoreline, but no one […]

This is a classic middle-aged German woman’s haircut – bleached, slightly spiky, and, most importantly for this look, the hint of a mullet. I like it. For more entertaining stuff on women’s football, check out sister site Kickster

Yep, looks like MacGyver, the most resourceful action hero in TV history, is coaching the USA Women’s team. With Mac on board, how can they fail?

Having just featured Tzofit Grant as a WAG of the Week, we mentioned the fact that she once drank her own wee-wee on TV, to see if there were health benefits or not. Well, here’s a clip of said stunt, as well as the time she bathed in chocolate. She’s a wild one…

Name Tzofit Grant Nationality Israeli WAG of… New Chelsea boss Avram Grant. Fame ranking 7/10 She is very well-known in her native Israel, where she is an outspoken TV host – think Ruby Wax but with more exhibitionist tendencies. She once drank urine live on TV and bathed in melted chocolate. Until recently, she lived […]

Things looked good for England’s women at half-time, when they were holding the world’s number-one ranked team at 0-0. At that stage, we were dreaming of another inspired, backs-to-the-wall performance, in the same vein as the goalless draw with Germany earlier in the tournament. But our girls took their eye off the ball after half-time […]

‘Coach Hope Powell, a veteran of the 1995 English World Cup squad who became the first full-time coach of the national team in 1998, reigns over a generation of unprecedented talent in England. Thanks to an improving women’s club system, most notably at European power Arsenal (which shares nine players with the national team), English […]