By Chris Wright

I’m willing to bet your gut reaction to the news that Sergio Busquets got well and truly knobbled in a challenge with Real Sociedad’s Carlos Martinez during the home side’s 2-1 win at the Nou Camp last night was somewhere along the lines of ‘what goes around, comes around’ – but that doesn’t make the deep laceration that the Barca midfielder suffered any less grotesque…

(Not for the squeamish, etc, etc)

Mmmm. Looks like the Sarlacc pit. Here, have a closer look…

Thankfully (if it’s possible to feel empathy toward Mr Biscuits) the injury isn’t half as nasty as it looks and, with a few stitches involved, Busquets is expected to be fit again by Wednesday evening’s game with Valencia.

                          

By Chris Wright

Watch, mere mortals, and weep as the slightly more ‘agricultural’ 50% of Barcelona’s central defence pulls off not one, but two 360° roulette tricks in a row as he maraudes his way through Valencia’s midfield during last night’s Copa del Rey semi-final first leg…

Señor Puyol wasn’t finished there though – oh no, not by a long chalk. The Barca captain also scored during his side’s 1-1 draw at the Mestalla; swinging in on a vine like Captain Tarzan to head home a 35th-minute equaliser after Jonas had given Valencia the lead ten minutes earlier.

Highlights (including a Lionel Messi penalty miss of all things)…

                          

An absolute cracker to start the day…

Puyol and Pique are the hairy pair that play at the back for Barca and, as you’re already well aware, ‘We Are Our Mountains’ is a huge monument hewn from volcanic rock in the Stepanakert region of Northern Armenia.

Bloody incredible spot from Pies fan @cuppa. Hats off Sir!

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email it to us (with ‘Lookalike’ in the subject field) to waatpies@gmail.com or you can Tweet it over to us at @waatpies if you’re hip like that.

                          

By Chris Wright

“Shhh!!! Don’t look at him. If we’re quiet, he may go away”

Despite leading 2-1 from the first-leg and going a further two goals ahead by half-time in the second through Pedro and Dani Alves, Barcelona still found themselves fretting at the Camp Nou as Real Madrid staged a late-ish comeback attempt that saw Cristiano Ronaldo and Karim Benzema draw Los Merengues level on the night – though it was to be in vain, as Barca eventually held out for the aggregate win that sealed them a berth in the Copa del Rey semi-finals.

Sergio Ramos had a goal struck off, Mesut Ozil sent a clanger against the bar from 30-yards, etc, etc, but Jose Mourinho still ended the night with his nine-match winless streak at the Camp Nou pristine and intact – telling reporters after the game that it was ‘impossible’ for his side to win after watching them accrue eight bookings (including two for Ramos, his 13th dismissal for the club) on Barca’s patch.

He’s such a victim, is our Jose:

“I heard my players say it was impossible to win here. I made no mistakes, we played a good game. We knew we were behind, we were motivated. We came here looking to win, but no.

“I have played [at the Camp Nou] with Chelsea, Inter and Madrid various times and this is nothing new.

“I will congratulate Barcelona for what they did at the Bernabeu last week but not for the qualification.”

Such a good sport too.

Photos…

Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

We’ll have a few more bits and bobs from last night’s second-leg El Clasico shenanigans over the course of the morning, but for now you’ll have to make do with this – Dani Alves’ angled, first-time, top-corner screamer to put Barca two goals up on the night and three up on aggregate…

Considering we’re talking about Dani ‘just twat it’ Alves here, that was the last place I thought the ball was going to end up.

It’s worth having another little glimpse at that celebration…

Hey Carles, enjoy your trip? LULZ

                          

By Alan Duffy

Forget the roasting and the racism, the diving and the drinking, sometimes footballers can actually be rather nice. And there seems to be no nicer chap in the world of football right now than Barcelona’s Eric Abidal.

The 32-year-old French defender, who recovered from liver cancer himself, recently visited a local hospital in Barcelona and was particularly moved by one patient, 15-year-old Juan Garcia. The teenager, who is battling cancer, broke down in tears when Abidal came to visit, prompting the French international to present him with his Rolex watch as a gift.

The boys’s father, J Garcia Serra, recounted the incident to local newspaper, The Herald, saying:

“It was impossible to get Eric to take the watch back. He told me: ‘It doesn’t matter what this is worth. I want your son to be happy.”

“He embraced all of us and continued his visit to other sick children. I looked at my son, and I will never forget the look of happiness in his face. I’d forgotten what he looked like when he was happy. At night he kept switching on the light to look at the watch’s inscription.

“The visit of the players improved the spirit of the children more than any medicine. For my family the great idol will always be Eric Abidal; he is more than a player for us.”

Apparently the watch was worth £20,000 and may have been a limited edition timepiece given to each member of the Barcelona squad at the end of last season.

Whatever the origin of the watch, Abidal’s gesture highlights the fact that not all footballers are overpaid, arrogant and selfish. Only some of them.

                          

By Chris Wright

As your probably aware, Pies suffered a pretty large hack attack yesterday, knocking us off air for almost the entire day – hence the reason we’re slightly late with this one, but it’s a goody so we hope you’ll forgive the tardyness.

What we have here is Lionel Messi scoring the third goal of an obligatory, barely-worth-mentioning hat-trick against Malaga on Sunday eve – instantly made great by Gol TV co-commentator Ray Hudson (a long-time Pies hero) reaching a point of euphoric climax in the process…

(These are the full highlights, skip to 3:07 for Hudson’s ‘Big O’)

More Ray Hudson magic on Pies…

‘Like Dracula On A Plate Of Liver!’
‘Like Smoke Through A Keyhole!’
‘An Eye For Goal That Would Make Cyclops Jealous!’

                          

By Chris Wright

A couple of days after Spanish site Sport.es reported that they had received exclusive mock-ups of the fairly hideous designs for Barcelona’s new kits for next season (above), designs which look suspiciously like they may have been drawn up using the colour fade tool on Corel Draw 3.

However, Todo Sobre Camisetas – who have a fairly high hit rate on these kind of things – have since come into possession of a leaked photo of the supposed new shirt and it looks like Sports’ sketches aren’t far wide of the mark…

Jesus wept. It’s hideous.

Obviously, there’s always going to be a certain amount of doubt when it comes to these leaks – but it’s safe to say that, if this turns out to be the new Barca strip, then they’ll be playing in something that looks like it was bought from a knock-off market stall in Tenerife. Not nice.

Any thoughts folks? Yay or nay?

                          

By Chris Wright

God love GOL TV’s excitable Geordie wordsmith…

A personal highlight: ”Waaah! JUNGLE CAT!”

Video: Barca HD

                          

By Chris Wright

“I fart in your general direction!”

Eric Abidal’s second goal in over five seasons at the club saw Barcelona come from behind to snatch the victory in last night’s Copa del Rey quarter-final first-leg El Clasico in the Bernabeu.

Cristiano Ronaldo put Real Madrid one-up after ten minutes when he went off yomping down the left wing and lashed a low shot through Pinto’s legs at the near post.

Barcelona had to wait until five minutes after the interval for their equaliser, Carles Puyol thundering Xavi’s corner home with a charging diving header (shades of his goal for Spain against Germany in the World Cup semi-final last year) before, with ten or so minutes left to play, Abidal collected Lionel Messi’s rinky-dinky throughball and poked a finish past Casillas for the winner.

Bit of related trivia for you: Carles Puyol hasn’t lost in 51-straight games for Barcelona including last night’s outing. That’s 21 months without tasting defeat for the skipper. Not bad.

Oh, and in case you missed it, Pepe did this.

Photos…

Highlights…

Photos: PA