By Chris Wright

Short and sweet. Our nation’s prematurely balding monarch-in-waiting Prince William – an Aston Villa fan by trade (look, he even has a hat!) – giving a heckler his honest and frank assessment of former Brum manager Alex McLeish’s appointment as Villa boss back in the summer while clambering into his car…

Cutting.

When even Prince Willybobs – a chap who’s paid handsomely to pretend to like everything – greets the very mention of your name with a condescending guffaw, it’s probably time to pack it in and go and live in a cave somewhere.

(Thanks to Pies fan @gsmyly for the nudge)

                          

By Chris Wright

Presenting: The ‘perfect fun gift for a Birmingham City supporting family member or friend who enjoys football banter with a Aston Villa fan’.

Now correct us if we’re wrong here, but isn’t ‘banter’ supposed to be, by it’s very definition, a two-way thing?

It seems that the fatal (or should that be ‘fecal’?) flaw in having a rival club’s emblem adorning your toilet paper is that, for it to have any effect, you either have to, a) bide your time until a Villa fan visits your home and enquires about your choice of bog roll or, b) run out into the streets of Witton showing everyone what you just wiped your backside on.

That said, it does come in a lovely gift box…

Crap. Quite literally.

(Thanks to Pies fan Solihull United for the tip-off!)

More gift ideas on Pies…

No. 1 – Small Figurine Of Sergio Ramos/Cesc Fabregas Taking A Dump
No. 2 – The Hannover 96 Toaster
No. 3 – Snazzy Signed Football Merchandise From ICONS

                          

Photo: PA

                          

By Chris Wright

Brum beat NK Maribor 2-1 in Slovenia in the Europa League last night, despite goalkeeper Colin Doyle’s best efforts to completely sabotage everything for them…

Reverse angle (it doesn’t get any prettier)…

‘Shades of Enckelman’, wouldn’t you agree?

Video: 101GG

                          

The ‘desperate Dann’ puns are writing themselves this morning, with the news (which is being carried by nearly all of the major papers) that Arsenal are set to gazump Stoke City and Aston Villa after opening talks with Birmingham over a £10 million move for Scott Dann, i.e, Brum’s other, non-werewolf centre-back last term.

Altogether more enticing is a rumoured move for pint-size tricky-dicky Shakhtar midfielder Jadson who, the Daily Telegraph are adamant, was the subject of a £10-12 million bid from Arsenal when the representatives of the 27-year old Brazilian flew into London to tout their wares yesterday.

While he’s hardly a sufficient replacement for either Cesc Fabregas or Samir Nasri, Jadson is probably one of the better options Arsene is going to be able to muster with just 11 days left to spunk his windfall – especially given that, if what we’re led to believe is true, Juan Mata is pretty much a no-go.

So, any thoughts Gooners? Will Dann provide the ‘British-ness’ that everyone seems to feel Arsenal lack at the back? Personally, I’d have half-a-mind to make him captain as soon as he signs on the dotted line.

As for Jadson, would he help paper over the cracks, at least temporarily, or is another five-foot-nothing sprite the last thing that Wenger needs to be shelling out good money on at the moment?

                          

Two-fer-one, Chris Hughton being unveiled as the new Brum boss and Big Poppa Jol being rolled out by Fulham at the Cottage – just so it’s all nice, tight and official like…

Photos: PA

                          

It’s official! After what seemed like weeks of tedious umming and ahhing, Aston Villa fans have finally gotten their wish have confirmed that they have appointed former Birmingham manager Alex McLeish as their new boss – just five days after he ditched Brum in a storm of controversy.

Villa have yet to disclose any details of McLeish’s contract, so we’re still unsure as to the length of the deal, though the club have stated that the breaded Scot will be taking over with ‘immediate effect’.

McLeish told the official Villa site:

“I am honoured to have this opportunity to manage a club with such a fantastic history as Aston Villa’s.

“The heritage, the history of success and the tradition of Aston Villa are compelling and irresistible. The challenge for me is to try to add my own chapter.

“Since first becoming a manager at Motherwell, my desire to succeed and my energy and drive have never waned.

“My objective is to impart that drive and will to win to the players and fans of Aston Villa. I know that some of our fans have voiced concerns and I can understand why.

“It will be up to me to convince you that I am the right man to drive the club forward and I intend to give absolutely everything to prove that I can be a success at the club.”

Best of luck with that Eck.

                          

By Chris Wright

Things aren’t looking too promising for Eck, despite the Beeb reporting that Villa are set to make the announcement that absolutely none of their fans are waiting to hear at some point later today…

In other related news, new Forest boss Steve McClaren has admitted that he had a job interview cancelled by Villa themselves after there was an ‘adverse reaction from the fans’ to his appointment – quite what Randy Lerner and co. think is going on since McLeish moved into pole position is beyond us.

As we’ve said before, just what in blue blazes in going on?

Video: 101GG

                          

By Chris Wright

News is filtering through this morning that, even after Birmingham formally refused to accept his resignation last night, Aston Villa have asked their cross-city rivals for permission to open talks with Alex McLeish about taking over at Villa Park.

Any prospective move is likely to get very ugly very quickly (there are whispers of gardening leave and a hefty £5.4 million’s worth of compensation as McLeish still has two-and-a-smidge years left on his contract at Birmingham) but the main bone of contention, to my objective eye, is that it just doesn’t seem to make any sense from a footballing perspective.

During his time in England, Eck has only ever coagulated his sides in order to theoretically make them hard to beat, and has never really shown the propensity for encouraging the kind of attacking spark that marks out a top six/seven/eight side from the also-ran fodder that makes up the Premier League’s stodgy lower reaches.

In short, he’s the kind of manager that Birmingham should be presently looking to employ (if only his position at St Andrews wasn’t completely and utterly untenable now, eh?), not Villa – who foster an altogether more attractive style of play. What’s more, it’s nigh-on impossible to fathom that Eck’s appointment would persuade the Ashley Youngs and Stewart Downings into committing to another year.

Of course, nothing’s been set in stone as of yet and their has been no official word from Villa’s water-tight PR department, but this morning’s rumblings all seem to suggest one thing – after tossing Steve McClaren aside without an interview, shunning Mark Hughes and missing the boat entirely on appointing Martin Jol, Villa’s preferred candidate is the one that the fans least want to see installed – which is odd given that owner Randy Lerner is known to be overtly simpatico with the club’s support base when it comes to the big decisions.

Surely no right-minded Villa fan would want to see McLeish pitching up at the club, his appointment rendering him little more than a feckless mercenary on the blue half and a dour, relegation-mired ex-Brum on the claret.

It’s a lose/lose situation, and surely one best avoided from both points of view? Or am I missing something here?

                          

By Chris Wright

Birmingham’s acting chairman Peter Pannu is not a happy bunny, and for good reason.

As you may be aware, Brum manager Alex McLeish resigned in time-honoured fashion – by email – yesterday with one eye on the Aston Villa vacancy.

Pannu and his cronies on the City board are feeling understandably jilted after having recently tied up deals for three new players that were sounded out by Big Eck himself, who chose to do a e-runner while negotiations for a fourth new face (Danny Koevermans from PSV) were ongoing.

Pannu told the Daily Express:

“I have just bought him [McLeish] three players of his choice. Having secured him the fourth one, Koevermans, I get an email on Sunday. It speaks volumes.

“We spent £40million, supported McLeish all the way, and what we get is a relegation and a snub when Carson Yeung gave him unwavering support.

“He is still our contracted staff and Birmingham City FC does not grant him any right to speak to any outsiders until the matter is resolved. I’ll be meeting my legal team tomorrow. It’s about time discipline was instilled into this game, and I am not a person who gets pushed about.”

Cripes – this could get ugly, ‘breaded ham’ ugly.