By Alan Duffy

You have to feel somewhat sorry for Arsenal. After doing all the hard work and topping their difficult group with a game to spare, they still manage to draw the Italian champions in the last 16 of the competition. Still, the Gunners have a decent record against Milan, knocking them out of the competition in 2008, courtesy of a 2-0 win at the San Siro.

The Gunners also thrashed Internazionale in Italy 5-1 back in the 2003 in the same competition, so despite the difficult draw, Arsene Wenger & Co. won’t fear the Italians.

AVB’s Chelsea side will face another Serie A side, Napoli, the slayers of the mighty Manchester City. The Italians currently lie fifth in the league, but blessed with the Hamsik-Cavani-Lavezzi attacking triumvirate, they will push the Blues all the way. However, the Chelsea squad is crammed full of Champions League experience, something lacking in the Azzurri’s, which may well give the Londoners the edge.

Here’s the draw in full…

Lyon (Fra) v APOEL (Cyp)

Napoli (Ita) v Chelsea (Eng)

AC Milan (Ita) v Arsenal (Eng)

Basel (Swi) v Bayern Munich (Ger)

Bayer Leverkusen (Ger) v Barcelona (Spa)

CSKA Moscow (Rus) v Real Madrid (Spa)

Zenit St Petersburg (Rus) v Benfica (Por)

Marseille (Fra) v Inter Milan (Ita)

I predict that Lyon, Chelsea, Arsenal, Bayern, Barcelona, Real, Benfica and Inter will make it through to the last eight. Does that sound about right?

                          

By Chris Wright

Pies pick of the eleven (yep, I can’t count) best photos from the past two night’s worth of Champions League to-ing and fro-ing. Forgive us for tooting our own horn, but there’s some absolutely timeless images in there…

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'Yippee!' Dinamo players celebrate their opening goal against Lyon. It didn't last long (AP Photo/Darko Bandic)

Photos: PA

                          

By Alan Duffy

Lyon players celebrate qualification for the last 16

It looked like game over for Lyon in this year’s Champions League, after the French giants left themselves with an enormous task ahead of the final Group D matchday. Finding themselves three points behind second-placed Ajax, Remi Garde’s side needed to win their final game against Dinamo Zagreb and make up a goal difference of seven to make it to the last 16.

So to last night, and while Ajax were losing 3-0 away to Real Madrid, Lyon were on their way to an incredible 7-1 win which put them ahead of their Dutch rivals and into the last 16. Star of the show was French international Bafetimbi Gomis, who bagged four goals to fire his side into the knock-out stages.

After seeing his own side having a couple of perfectly good goals ruled out against Madrid and duly missing out on a place in the last 16, Ajax coach Frank de Boer said: “I know they (Lyon) were playing against ten men but I’ve also heard some of the goals were very easy. If something strange has happened, we can still prove it.”

ARJEL, the French online gaming authority, also smell a rat and have duly opened an investigation into the game.

Take a look at this footage, which doesn’t do any anything to quell the suspicion that something fishy went on. After Lisandro Lopez scored Lyon’s fifth goal, Zagreb player Domagoj Vida is clearly seen winking and giving a thumbs up in the direction of Gomis. See the video below…

Dodgy with a capital ‘W’, ‘T’ and ‘F’. If Vida is in on some plot, why in the name of sweet baby Jesus would you draw any attention to it by winking half-way through the game?

Looks like Lyon’s place in the last 16 may not be as secure as first thought.

                          

By Chris Wright

As you’re well aware by now, Man City played some lovely football, scored a couple of beautul goals and filed a decent victory over an already-through-and-therefore-decidedly-under-strength Bayern Munich side in their final Champions League group game to take their final points tally to 10, which would’ve been enough to squeak through were it not for Napoli’s 2-0 win over Villarreal in Spain – with the upshot of it all being that the Italian’s went through with Bayern and City will be playing Europa League football next year.

We’ve got a bit more here, if you’re interested.

Photos…

Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

By Chris Wright

Oh dear, oh dear. That really didn’t go to plan did it? ‘Twas a quiet evening in Manchester last night as it conspired that both of the city’s sides will be playing knock-down, B-stock, factory damaged Europa League football in the new year after being sent sprawling from the Champions League in acrimonious fashion – United especially, at the very least City actually won on the night.

That is, City will be feeling glum this morning, but United (whose destiny was in their own hands in Switzerland) will be beside themselves after failing to make inroads against a spirited if limited Basel side. Yes, they enjoyed the lion’s share of the pressure and possession, but the brass tacks are that United created very little of note – ‘all pump and no squirt’ as they say in the business.

Indeed, United’s best effort on goal (including Phil Jones’ scrappy last minute consolation) came through Basel’s Markus Steinhofer, who fired an exquisite volley against his own crossbar mid-way through the second-half. When you’re relying on your opposition’s right-back for attacking flair, you know you’re in trouble.

United are plainly going through a transitional period and success does tend to be cyclical so they’ll doubtlessly be back at the top table before too long, but the problem currently underlying it all is that the squad just isn’t good or imposing enough to match the club’s manifest ambitions. Even the supposedly ‘lesser’ teams just aren’t being intimidated by that midfield and/or that defence any more. Both units are slightly sub-par, and everybody senses it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m talking in relative terms here. They’re perfectly good enough to thrash the living daylights out of a Wigan here and a Bolton there but that razor’s edge is looking increasingly blunt when it comes to shaving the big boy’s balls. New blood is required.

As for City, they and their accountants will doubtlessly be aggrieved they couldn’t make their debut campaign a winning one, but no-one was really expecting them to anyway were they? Given that they’ll probably win the Premier League this season to boot, dropping out at this stage of the Champions League will almost certainly be largely forgotten about come May-time.

They’ve also got every chance of winning the Europa League now too, provided they can keep their talent interested during those long trips around the continent now the biggest, most vainglorious prize in European football has been taken out of the equation. Whereas the multitude of snoods may suggest otherwise, you’d rightly hope that it isn’t going to be an issue.

In fact, anyone else getting a hankering for a City/United final? I, for one, can feel it in my waters.

                          

It may be cold, but it sure as Jumping Jehovah isn’t that cold! I mean, would you just look at all that snood action?

And the piece de resistance, from the manager himself no less?

Two hats. Not one, but two hats. I ask you. Middle-aged men these days.

(Photos: PA)

                          

By Chris Wright

Arsenal (or ‘Arsenal B’ to completely truthful) ended their Champions League group stage campaign with a bit of a whimper, going down 3-1 to Olympiakos in Greece. Rafik Djebbour, David Fuster and Francois Modesto all did the business for Olympiakos while Yossi Benayoun scored Arsenal’s consolation on a night which was perfectly encapsulated by Vito Mannone’s bollock-drop par excellence…

Hands, Vito. HANDS!

Ah well, it mattered little in the end. The Gunners were through to the last 16 anyway and last night’s little blip only really served to show us what we were all startlingly aware of anyway – Arsenal’s reserves are a teensy bit on the pap side.

Photos…

Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

Looks like Borussia Dortmund went a little ‘heavy artillery’ against Marseille as the night wore on…

‘INCOMING!’

‘Dortmund One, be advised. We gotta direct hit!’

For the record, it didn’t work. After finding themselves 2-0 down after half-an-hour, Marseille eventually came from behind to win 2-3 thanks to a supoib 87th-minute Mathieu Valbuena goal, thus booking the French side a spot in the last 16…

                          

By Chris Wright

Just when Chelsea needed it most, Didier Drogba turned up and put in one of his best performances in a good couple of years to inspire his side to a 3-0 victory over Valencia at the Bridge last night, scoring two goals and filing an assist (for Ramires) to see the Blues comfortably and safely into the knockout phases of the Champions League in the process.

Drogba took up his stethoscope and walked, which makes you wonder why he hasn’t done it a bit more regularly of late. New contracts don’t earn themselves though I suppose. He played like it was 2006 all over again, and long may it continue. You just can’t beat watching an on-song Didier Drogba terrorise the living daylights out of an entire four-man defence single-handedly.

We must also mention Juan Mata, who set up both of the Drog’s goals and has now assisted the Ivorian’s last three in all competitions. The man’s an architect.

Anyway, in summary, Chelsea are through to the last 16 and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it!

Photos…

Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

By Chris Wright

With precious little margin for error, Manchester United, Manchester City and Chelsea are all left needing specific results to fall into their lap to progress, with many online gambling companies offering fairly tempting odds on a complete, three-way Anglo-centric balls-up.

After stocking the Champions League with exactly half of it’s finalists over the course of the past seven years, there is a very real possibility that the Premier League could be left with one sole representative in this year’s tournament come tomorrow night, with Arsenal the only English club to have ensured themselves a place in the knockout phase as we wade into the last round of group games.

First up, with the two teams level on points in Group E, Chelsea will take on Valencia at Stamford Bridge later tonight knowing that a win is the only outcome that will definitely take them through, following Bayer Leverkusen’s final-minute parade/urination act the last time out.

Didier Drogba, seen here after trying to get his head around the next two paragraphs

Seeing as ‘head-to-head’ records will take precedent over goal-difference in the final standings, the other permutations are as follows:  If Leverkusen beat Genk (who are already out), a goalless draw would also be enough to see Chelsea through courtesy of Frank Lampard’s away goal in their 1-1 draw at the Mestalla back in September.

Any scoring draw would take Valencia through at the expense of Chelsea on goal difference, but if Genk (who have scored one and conceded 15 goals in five games as is) manage to beat Leverkusen, both the German side, Chelsea and Valencia could all finish on nine points if the latter two draw – which would mean that it would have to be a goalless draw to take Chelsea through due to their superior ‘head-to-head’ record against Leverkusen (2-0 home, 2-1 away).

Yeesh.

Given all that rigmarole, it’d be better a lot easier on everybody’s frayed, misfiring synapses if AVB’s mob just managed to squeak out a win – that said, Valencia are unbeaten in their last four visits to England. Make of that what thou wilt.

This is what ‘plodding’ looks like…

On Wednesday evening, United travel to Switzerland to face FC Basel with a one-point advantage over their opponent’s in the Group C pile, thus needing only to stave off defeat on the night in order to seal themselves a spot in the knockout stages – which may not prove to be quite so straightforward, especially given that Basel gave them the run-around in the first fixture, which ended 3-3 at Old Trafford back in September.

Benfica go into the final game level on points with United at the top of the table, but the Portuguese side have a superior ‘head-to-head’ record against both Sir Alex’s side and Basel meaning they are already through. However, they can (and probably will) go through as group winners if they manage a win at the Estadio da Luz against Romanian also-rans Otelul Galati who are, quite literally, pointless.

…and this is what ‘trudging’ looks like

As for City, they look, for all intents and purposes, pretty much buggered. Roberto Mancini’s side are a point behind Napoli in Group A with a worse ‘head-to-head’ record thanks to a 2-1 defeat in the San Paolo a fortnight ago, and will square off against comfortable group winners Bayern Munich tomorrow knowing they simply must win and retain faith in Villarreal either beating or holding Napoli to a draw.The Spaniards have lost all five of their games so far.

As I say; ‘Pretty much buggered’ – though stranger things have happened at sea.

So, the question goes out: Which way do you see it going over the next two nights of European football Pies’ fans? Personally, I’ve had a little flutter on only Chelsea going through and both United and City biting the big one – chiefly because Gab Marcotti told me to in his hushed Italian-American tones after the Chelsea/Leverkusen game. In Gab I trust!

And you?