C’est une farce

Step this way for the most confusing metaphor in footballing history

Scott Parker vs The World

West Ham’s main man beats Petr Cech with volleyed lob

Does your club make the list?

Only two goals this time?

Which British club has the easiest group?

Think of all the lovely shirts they could sell

Twelve scored, none conceded – who can stop Drogba and co.?

Guess who?

Champions crush Baggies to dust

This year your team will mostly be wearing…

Champions secure services of young Brazil forward

Farewell to the man whose testicles may have cost England World Cup glory

Stevie G makes a fool of himself, again

Dare you drop Sir John Terry?

Will Chelsea win the league again? Pies has the answer…

Boooooof

Fergie gets one over on Ancelotti at last

Another trophy for Old Red Nose

Joe Cole is a bit of a thicky, implies Chelsea manager

Blues close in on central midfielder