cool hit counter

Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

Who Ate All The Pies Logo






Chelsea

Chelsea: All the latest Chelsea flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Chelsea have six points out of six and yet they have stuttered in beating Hull and Sunderland – God help their rivals if they start playing to their potential. Darren Bent put Sunderland ahead last night to fuel hopes of a minor shock, but Chelsea got their act together in the second half. The visitors’ fightback […]

Not sure why Chelsea’s bus didn’t make it all the way into the Stadium of Light. Perhaps their driver is Deco’s dad and the little Portuguese playmaker was embarrassed: “Drop me off here Dad, I’ll walk the rest of the way. Pick me up later, same place at 10…” Always good to see professional footballers […]

Ah, it feels good to have panto villains like The Drog, Herr Ballack, Mr Chelsea and Cashley back on the radar. Ballack has already wound up every single Man Utd fan with his blatant bodycheck (or “elbow”, if you listen to United’s camp) on Patrice Evra. But I wonder which Chelsea player winds you up […]

Highlights of Chelsea’s morale-boosting win at Wembley, including: Nani’s excellent solo goal, Michael Ballack’s “elbow” on Patrice Evra (from which Chelsea scored their second goal, much to Fergie and his players’ chagrin) and United’s abject batch of penalties: Decent game, not that I was ever going to schedule my weekend around it. Btw, that’s twice […]

Click on the image below to see the best photos from Wembley’s curtain raiser (match analysis to follow):

Pies sincerely hopes you enjoy this photo essay, which commemorates the manly, heterosexual love shared by JT and Lampsy… “He’s all mine.” “Not here John, you twat.” ******************************************************************************************************* “Wahay! Look Lampsy, it’s a ball! Let’s kick the f**k out of it!” “Ha ha. John, you’re such a twat but I love you.” *******************************************************************************************************

Undisputed quote of the day goes to Noel Gallagher: “I don’t like John Terry and I never have. He’s got funny eyes and he’s a cry baby. He’s also a Cockney and he’d absolutely be coming [to Man City] just for the money.” Can’t argue with that. In an interview with F365, the Oasis star […]

Summer lovin’, happened so fast… This from the puckered mouth of Chelsea’s chief suit, Peter Kenyon: “I don’t know what they [City] are offering but I’m confident John is going to remain with us. John is a talisman, he’s the heart of Chelsea, he came through our academy, he’s our captain and he’s also become […]

John Terry, aged 19, in action for Nottm Forest in April 2000. [Photo: PA] Aw, bless - look at his gormless chav face. Sweet. Mr JT spent a brief period on loan at Forest in 2000 - it certainly looks strange to see him in a red shirt.

Latest on the JT situation: Man City boss Mark Hughes has gone public in his pursuit of Mr Chelsea, by saying that the player would benefit from a ‘change of scenery’ (not to mention a massive pay rise). Sparky said: “We would like to think we could offer John a different challenge. He’s been at […]

Think you know who the ball-faced footballer is? (Click image to enlarge) Leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday’s answer: Gilles Grimandi Many different Arsenal players were named, but only a couple of you got it right. Richie B was the first reader to nail it. As he said, ‘something about the sleeves is saying […]

A simple vote, just because I’d be interested to see which fans ‘win’. (I know who my money is on, just as I know who I’d vote for - every time - but I won’t say just now.) So let it out… which team’s fans do you find the most irritating, self-righteous, idiotic etc? Vote below: Which of […]

This from The Times: ‘Though [John] Terry has had several injuries in recent seasons, Chelsea continue to insist he is “not for sale at any price”. The club are, however, mindful of dealings with Terry over his last contract talks in 2007, when he signed a five-year deal. ‘During those negotiations, Terry asked for a […]

‘Pah! Yet another Englishman I ‘ave never ‘eard of.’ New Chelsea signing Daniel Sturridge makes his first appearance in a Chelsea shirt. Solid signing by Chelsea. Again, not an Ancelotti signing a such but Sturridge looks an excellent prospect. I’m surprised Man City let him go. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

‘I thought being Chelsea manager would be more glamourous than this.’ Ross Turnbull is the first signing of the Carlo Ancelotti era. The English goalkeeper, 24, was signed on a free transfer from Middlesbrough. But I wonder if Ancelotti had anything to do with this transfer, other than to approve it. Apparently Chelsea took an […]

Here’s Herr Ballack enjoying yesterday’s epic Federer v Roddick snooze at Wimbledon (16-14 in the final set? It should have been exciting, but it wasn’t). Can you spot the Chelsea midfielder? Clue: he’s the one wearing the eye-burningly horrific shirt. This is no great surprise: Ballack is German and a footballer. And I can’t think […]

Will Cashley join Real Madrid’s All-New Galacticos? In a word, no A certain red-topped tabloid newspaper claims that everyone’s favourite left-back has rejected Chelsea’s latest contract offer, reportedly because he wants the same sort of mega cash (£100,000+ a week) that his England team-mates, John Terry and Frank Lampard, are on. Since everyone seems to […]

Chelsea didn’t just reject Man City’s bid for Mr JT; they blew it out of the water with a snide dismissal worthy only of the Great Peter Kenyon: “Chelsea Football Club can confirm it has completely rejected an offer from Manchester City for John Terry. “It was made clear to City, for the second time […]

“It’s a great honour to be voted Dad of the Year. I have won many trophies in my career but I’m proud to say that this is up there with all of them.” John Terry, who was in no way shilling for Daddies sauce as part of a Father’s Day promotion (let’s be clear about […]

Chelsea’s billionaire owner, Roman Abramovich, has just bought a £288m yacht, with built-in missile defence system. He could have got almost four Cristiano Ronaldos for that. Except… C-Ron would never have signed for Chelsea. I wouldn’t be surprised if Roman bought the yacht to cheer himself up, because he must feel like every star player he […]

The opening round of group games continues with a couple of peaches… Nemanja Vidic v Didier Drogba (Group G) They should put this match-up in a caged “Octagon”. I’d pay to see that. But you’re not voting on who’s the hardest (I take Vidic, every time; The Drog is all bark and no bite), you’re […]

After a wee break, the Best Player in the World World Cup is back. We kick off again with the opening ties in Group F. First up, an all-Prem, all-midfield tie: Chelsea’s Frank Lampard takes on Liverpool’s Javier Mascherano. A tough one for Lampsy, this…

Place your bets… All bets are off on Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo, but there are still many star names whose futures remain unclear. Join Pies for a game of Transfer Roulette:

A man with no idea how to use Photoshop (me) offers his impression of how Johnson would look in a Liverpool shirt By all accounts, Portsmouth have accepted an £18m bid from Liverpool for Glen Johnson. Hmm, funny that Rafa Benitez is suddenly willing to spend so much on Johnson when he enquired about the […]