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Who ate all the pies

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Chelsea

Chelsea: All the latest Chelsea flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Departing Chelsea boss falls victim to British bureaucracy A very bad artist’s impression of Guss Hiddink smoking a tab Super Guus could receive a fine for lighting up a celebratory cigar at Wembley, after Chelsea’s 2-1 win against Everton in Saturday’s FA Cup Final. The Dutchman was caught on camera with said stogie as he […]

What’s the German for swollen nutsack? So, congrats to Herr Ballack, who came off the bench to help Chelsea to victory in the FA Cup Final. Some good luck at last for the German.

Blue is the colour at Wembley today What it looks like to face Chelsea I’m not expecting much entertainment from today’s FA Cup Final, the 128th in the competition’s history (stat fans) - and the sun is shining madly in London, so I probably won’t even watch it live (it’s been a manic week of football […]

Who didn’t last the course? Deco (Chelsea) It all started as planned: Deco scored a screamer on his Chelsea debut, at home to Pompey in the August sunshine, but it was quickly downhill after that. The Ronnie Corbett-faced Brazilian has been unlucky with a string of niggling injuries, but in no way can he be […]

A heavyweight clash of the England captains Steven Gerrard v John Terry (Group C) A very tough opener for England’s skipper, against a former England skipper who has just won the Football Writers’ Player of the Year award. Sorry, JT, but Stevie G will win surely win this one… won’t he? Vote below…

Arsenal lose again, Chelsea bounce back In the wake of Tom Henning Ovrebo-Gate, I thought Chelsea might suffer more when it came to this battle of the Champions League losers, but I was way wrong. Guus Hiddink’s team came to north London and stuffed Arsenal on their own patch, to cap a truly crappy week […]

You like? According to the worldwide internet web, this is Chelsea’s new away shirt for next season. It looks rather 1980s to me (I could see Kerry Dixon wearing it), which is no surprise given that the 80s revival currently in full swing. Leaked images of Chelsea’s third kit have also been spaffed all over […]

Two scary men, but in very different ways If you don’t watch The Wire, a) you should, absolutely (it’s amazingly good), and b) for the purposes of this post, you might want to know that Partlow (played by Nigerian-American actor Gbenga Akinnagbe) is a hitman for a ruthless drug dealer. Whereas Essien is just a […]

Chelsea striker apologises for sweary rant In a statement on Chelsea’s official website, Mad Drog said: “I was very upset at what happened during the game, but having seen the pictures on TV I accept that I overreacted. “I also accept that the language I used did not set a good example for those watching […]

So say Barcelona Ever the gent, Mr JT visited the away dressing room after last night’s CL semi final and shook hands with every single Barcelona player, as well as each member of their coaching staff, including head coach Pep “Young Mourinho” Guardiola. “I want to thank John Terry for coming into the dressing room […]

Who will win the battle of the Champions League bridesmaids? Someone got busy on Photoshop. A smug Man Utd fan, perhaps? [Thanks to Jamironad for the tip] Seen any more funny football virals? Drop me a line, Pies would love to hear from you

This one will run and run So here’s the original GIF, in which Ballack hounds the ref after his penalty appeal was turned down. And click below to see the GIFtastic fun that some people are having with Ballack and Tom Henning Ovrebo. Highly recommended…

Vote below, simple as that Were Chelsea robbed?(answers)

I love the smell of irony in the morning

Even semi-final heartbreak has a funny side Ballack Hill V Benny Hill Theme 2009 – Funny blooper videos are here Definitely one of my favourite moments of this season. Ballack’s attempt to harrass the ref without actually laying a finger on him is world-class. [Spotted on 101GreatGoals]

Chelsea’s sour grapes do them no favours “The word conspiracy is maybe the wrong one. It’s difficult when players are so high on emotion after a game. However, people are saying we shouldn’t have reacted the way we did. But the fact is, six decisions went against us in front of 40,000 people. And for […]

Chelsea’s No.1 celebrity fan rages at the injustice of it all Immediately after Chelsea were knocked out by Barcelona, Tim Lovejoy posted up a video blog of his thoughts on the game (watch it here). Here are some things that Tim feels in his heart: He’s “gutted” La Liga is a “tinpot” league The ref […]

Chelsea’s German midfielder chases inept Norwegian ref… Poor Ballack, ever the bridesmaid and edging ever closer to retirement. That’s all folks! [Via Dirty Tackle]

Chelsea’s favourite ref and Hollywood’s favourite slaphead If he were alive today, I doubt Brynner would do a worse job of refereeing a football match than Ovrebo did last night. Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email me or leave a comment.

Two brilliant strikes bookend a fascinating tie… First up, Michael Essien swings his left peg to brilliant effect, to give Chelsea an undeserved lead inside ten minutes. Goal of the season? Probably. Then, with the final whistle seconds away, Andres Iniesta swings his right peg, also to brilliant effect, to put Barcelona through. Watch the […]

The Drog loses it After Barcelona’s late, late equaliser/winner at the Bridge last night, Didier Drogba was not a happy bunny. As the above video shows, he harrassed the ref, Tom Henning Ovrebo, calling the Norwegian ref’s performance “a fucking disgrace”. Watch the Drog swear his massive head off below…

Ron wiggles his hips and BOOM! Unlike so many speculative wonder strikes from distance, Ronaldinho’s goal at the Bridge required daring, cheek, pure instinct and vision – as Clive Tyldesley said, “You didn’t see it coming”. No other player could have scored it, and that’s why I love this goal. Shame about Barcelona’s sickly away […]

Athletic power v pure skill. Who ya got? Chelsea parked the bus at the Camp Nou and just about got away with it. Cue moans about negative football from the Barcelona camp. Fair enough, but there was no way Guus Hiddink was going to engage Barca in an open game of football. And 0-0 looks […]

Rumours abound that Roman Abramovich (pictured above, jumping off one of his yachts) lost a $500,000 yacht in a game of poker. Abramovich’s people have denied the rumour: “The story is absolutely, completely, entirely false,” said John Mann, a spokesman for Chelsea’s owner.