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Who ate all the pies

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Chelsea

Chelsea: All the latest Chelsea flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

The sports minister, Gerry Sutcliffe, has branded John Terry’s salary ‘obscene’. Sutcliffe also attacked Chelski’s general attitude to cash. He said: ‘Good luck to John Terry but I think it is obscene to be on £150,000 a week,’ said Sutcliffe. ‘People in the street cannot understand salaries like that. Chelsea are £250m in the red […]

When was the last time Steven Gerrard scored a hat-trick? Exactly. Three goals by Captain Lamps and one from Andriy Shevchenko (a fine finish too) were enough – just – to see off a spirited Leicester side in what was a cracking, see-saw match. Chelsea did look shit at the back though, although they are […]

76780358.jpgIt’s been quite a year for Gareth Barry, he’s gone from international occasional to England’s most consistent performer and now there are rumours that Chelsea are preparing a £15m bid to bring him to the Bridge.

HEROES Rob Green Saved a last-gasp penalty (pictured) to snatch a point for West Ham at Pompey. Surely Green now has to be taken seriously for England’s No.1 shirt instead of Paul Robinson? Cesc Fabregas Showed off the full extent of his freakish maturity and talent with a wonderfully authoritative performance at Anfield. Stevie G […]

75417670.jpgIt seems they’ve tried everything but bionic body parts to try and restore Andriy Shevchenko to his former glory at Stamford Bridge – including enlisting the help of former athlete, Darren Campbell, to remind him how to run.

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The party line when Roman Abramovich decided to solve a problem like Mourinho was that he wanted his team to play more attractive football – but several games down the line under new management, is there really any difference?

73869663.jpgWhy’s it always strikers who throw their toys out of the pram first when things go wrong at a club?
Should clubs be taking a tougher stance with despondent players, whether they are scoring or not?

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Chelsea’s have rediscovered their form since beating Valencia in their previous match in this competition and Stamford Bridge has long been considered a fortress under Mourinho.

Didier Drogba and former England rugby union captain Martin Johnson pose at Stamford Bridge in NFL uniforms to promote the match between the NY Giants and Miami Dolphins, which will be played at Wembley Stadium on October 28th. Hmm, there must be a good caption or two in there… Photo Christopher Lee/Getty Images

Today’s most interesting/ridiculous/made-up in the pub football stories: Spurs have lined up Blackburn boss Mark Hughes to replace Martin Jol, if the struggling North Londoners fail to win at home against Rovers on Sunday. Will it happen? Not a chance. There’s no way Rovers will let Sparky go to Spurs – and I’m confident Hughes […]

The first in a Top Trumps-style series of Head to Heads pitches Mad Jens against the Drog. The category in question? Arrogance, which would obviously be the strongest suit of both players. So, who do you think is the more arrogant player (vote below)? Lehmann clearly thinks the sun shines out of every orifice of […]

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With Chelsea struggling to keep their stars happy while they supposedly attempt to change their style of play with an unproven manager, there’s a chance that another club could make it into the Big Four.

I miss Jose, and this is just one reason why. Puyol is one of those players who needs a slap, and The Special One duly obliges, in the tunnel before one of those ‘don’t come much bigger than this’ (Clive Tyldesley©) Chelsea vs Barcelona Champions League nights. Thanks Jose, from all of us.

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“Have you heard the one about the Englishman, Portuguese and Russian?”

‘We’d like to thank Baz on our comment boards for spotting this one. Quite uncanny. Sonja, Alan’s eastern European girlfriend was a big fan of James Bond, sex and handbags, while alas we know sweet FA about what Martina Cech [Petr Cech's missus] is into. We’re also guessing Sonja’s a Norwich City supporter, but we […]

Most ridiculous football rumour of the day, without doubt, is the Daily Express’s story that Avram Grant wants to buy Kaka from AC Milan, ‘even if it costs him £100 million’. The Express’s ‘source’ (some bloke down a pub in Fulham, perhaps?) said: ‘Kaka is certainly a long-term target, and if there is any chance […]

As spotted today on sister site Chelsea Pies. Reason No.6 is our favourite… 1 Inter desperately need him Apparently Milan’s second best team want to buy Non-fat Frank to replace Non-fat Patrick Vieira who seems to be heading Manchester City’s way. 2 He still hasn’t been offered a proper new contract by Chelsea Come on […]

Cristiano Ronaldo has offered an olive branch to Jose Mourinho after the pair became embroiled in a row at the end of last season, which ended with the ex-Chelsea boss claiming Ronaldo ‘lacked class’. But, in a surprising U-turn, Ronaldo has shown he bears no ill feeling towards Jose: ‘English football will miss Jose Mourinho. […]

Aston Villa 1-0 West Ham
Craig Gardner won the match for Villa, but Dean Ashton is now a doubt for England after picking up a knee injury.
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Crazy Sepp Blatter wants a quota on foreign players in European teams; each club would only be allowed to have five foreign players in its starting XI. Blatter sees this as the solution to encouraging home-grown talent, but, honestly, we’re too far down the line to go back to such a quota system, and anyway […]

This slightly weird video from Football365 shows Agent Peter Kenyon revealing his masterplan to topple Chelski from the inside after being sent to infiltrate them by General Sir Alex Ferguson!

This was a pretty remarkable win for Avramovitch’s Chelski at one of Europe’s toughest places to get a result – if Jose Mourinho had been in charge, we’d all be celebrating his managerial genius. As much as I find much to dislike about John Terry, you can’t argue with the purity of his fighting spirit, […]

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There is just something about the droopy cheeks and the crazy eyewear that tickled me when I saw the two photos near each other on the Beeb’s website. Arsenal fans, who would you rather have take control of the club?!!

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Well, there you have it. John Terry in training for Chelsea’s crucial Champions League match against Valencia tonight complete with a face mask to protect his broken cheekbone. It’s not quite as colourful as we had envisaged. Let the lookalike suggestions commence!