From this: To this: Jaunty and theatrical, I’d say.

Everton’s new store is located in Liverpool’s biggest shopping mall, aka Liverpool One. Whoever decided to call the store Everton Two has my undying respect. Everton’s megastore, located at Goodison Park, is now called Everton One. Brilliant.

A simple vote, just because I’d be interested to see which fans ‘win’. (I know who my money is on, just as I know who I’d vote for - every time - but I won’t say just now.) So let it out… which team’s fans do you find the most irritating, self-righteous, idiotic etc? Vote below: Which of [...]

[Photo @ venturacountystar.com / Juan Carlo] Everton’s first summer signing is Anton Peterlin… Tumbleweeds roll past… When I first heard about the signing I had no idea who Peterlin was either, but I know a bit more now. He’s a defensive midfielder, he’s American, he’s 22 years old, and the remarkable story of his journey [...]

In the last couple of weeks, Pies has been asking club fans to vote for the last player at the club they would want to get rid of. Today it’s the turn of Moyesey’s Everton. So, if you had to sell all but one of Everton’s players (to build an entirely new squad, say), who’d [...]

It’s crystal clear where Le Coq Sportif’s designers got the inspiration for Everton’s home shirt for 09/10. As you can see, it’s a deliberate copy of the classic HAFNIA kit of the mid-Eighties, as worn by one of Everton’s finest ever teams - the Eighties revival shows no sign of stopping. And doesn’t Louis Saha look [...]

Everton’s big hair bear won’t cut his locks Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain As the photo on the right shows, Marouane Fellaini didn’t always have enormous hair - and look how much happier he looks with a big-ass Afro! Fellaini’s hair has become [...]

Blue is the colour at Wembley today What it looks like to face Chelsea I’m not expecting much entertainment from today’s FA Cup Final, the 128th in the competition’s history (stat fans) - and the sun is shining madly in London, so I probably won’t even watch it live (it’s been a manic week of football [...]

British football’s greatest Houdini acts 1. West Bromwich Albion (2005) With the odds stacked massively against the Baggies, on the final day of the season they did the only thing they could and beat Portsmouth 2-0. Elsewhere, Crystal Palace drew with Charlton, while Norwich and Southampton both lost. West Brom became the first club to [...]

Dirrrrty boys The list is based on fouls committed, which I concede is a flawed way of deciding which players are dirty. For example, there are no defenders on the list, because a) defenders are expected to make tackles, so referees are more lenient on them, and b) midfielders and forwards are simply not as [...]

Everton fans 1, all other fans 0 Let’s hear it for Everton fans, who have taken to singing about their left-back Leighton Baines, to the tune of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” (written by Simon about actor Warren Beatty). It goes a little something like this: “Leighton Baines, I bet you think this song is [...]

Snapped as Everton beat Man Utd on penalties in last month’s FA Cup semi final.

Danish defenders for dummies, by Pies

Name Lars Christian Jacobsen

Peroxide Phil

Top of the morning to you… West Ham reject Tottenham’s £15m offer for Dean Ashton. Spurs dodged a bullet there [Guardian] The C-Ron saga is finally over, says Fergie. The boy’s staying [BBC] The long-term future of Man City is in doubt after it emerged that owner Thaksin Shinawatra has explored the possibility of selling [...]

Thursday’s loveliest links WIll Ferrell hearts Chelsea The American funny man was spotted on Jon Stewart’s Daily Show (there to promote new movie Step Brothers) wearing a Chelsea shirt. Go figure. [Unprofessional Foul] Safe soccer Some Cape Town footballers are putting condoms on their feet, so that their socks can stay up longer during matches. [...]

Today’s hottest news, rumours and lies have a three-chilli rating Aston Villa are very close (medical permitting) to signing Chelsea misfit Steve Sidwell (pictured) for £5m, as direct replacement for outgoing captain Gareth Barry. Who wants to point out to Martin O’Neill that Sidwell is nowhere near as good as Barry… [BBC] More after the [...]

Another day, another batch of rumours 1. Darren Fletcher & Diego Milito to Everton Man Utd’s Scottish international and Real Zaragoza’s Argentine striker are high on David Moyes’ wanted list. Andy Johnson could be sold to fund the double deal. [Liverpool Daily Post] Pies verdict I doubt Fergie will sell Fletcher, but there’s a good [...]

Finding the Lonely Hearts of Euro 2008 the perfect home in the Premier League

Arsenal – Artur Boruc
Poland’s keeper was in top form during the competition and a move to a top four club could be enough to tempt him away from Celtic. The Gunners – with Jens Lehmann on his way out – could be interested.

Transfer truths or sneaky speculation from bored hacks? You decide.

1. Samir Nasri to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger has launched an £11 million bid to bring the new Zidane to the Emirates. Nasri wants to make the move and the only stumbling block is Marseille’s masterplan that they might get Hatem Ben Arfa in a swap deal if they sell to Lyon instead.

An ugly, but practical kit. This Everton away strip was safe to leave on the washing line in Liverpool because nobody would want to nick it. The season does hold some fond memories for Everton fans as they won the FA Cup. It also heralded the arrival of Joe Royle, Duncan Ferguson and Daniel Amokachi. I doubt very much if there are many Everton fans still getting wear out of this shirt.

Six rumours, but which is most likely to materialise?

1. Wayne Bridge to Juventus
Claudio Ranieri is eager to sign Wayne Bridge for the second time in his career to rescue him from playing second fiddle to Ashley Cole. The Turin giants will battle a host of English clubs for Bridge’s signature and have made an official approach to Chelsea. [Daily Mail]

Pies rates each Premier League team based on the 07/08 campaign Arsenal (3rd) Played some quite beautiful football at times but faded badly in the last quarter of the season, after leading the pack – Arsene Wenger should have added to his squad in January. Still, to finish just two points behind Chelsea and four [...]

EVERTON 0-1 CHELSEA Chelsea goal Essien 41 The title race is still alive, thanks to a gritty performance by Chelsea. Winning at Everton is no easy feat, so Avram Grant’s team deserves a lot of credit for scratching out a result, especially without Didier Drogba, Michael Ballack or Frank Lampard in the line-up. Everton, for [...]

Well, it is probably not forgotten by any Evertonians over the age of 20, but the rest of us might need to have our memories refreshed. Graeme Sharp scored this beaut for Everton against Liverpool at Anfield – which makes it just about the perfect Everton goal. Sharp brings the ball down and creates some space with one touch of his left foot before firing home with his right.