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Who ate all the pies

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Everton

Everton: All the latest Everton flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

I have no idea what the Haka has to do with Everton, so I have to award a big FAIL to this PR stunt. If you do know the link between a Maori war dance and Le Coq Sportif/Everton, let me know. All I can think of is that Tim Cahill has a Samoan mum, […]

Joleon Lescott wants to leave Everton. Their new home kit has been cited as a key factor Seriously though, can you really blame Lescott for being tempted by a contract that is at least twice as fat as the one he’s currently picking up? Of course not. After all, he left Wolves before to go […]

Did Louis lose a pre-season bet? Or did he mean to dye his hair blonde and get the wrong colour? Or perhaps he’s trying to look like even more of a dick in a box than team-mate Marouane Fellaini? Whatever, this look is a tonsorial FAIL.

Worst-kept secret in football? Philippe Senderos has signed for Everton. Or so every Arsenal blog seems to think. And it’s no secret that Arsene Wenger invited offers for the out-of-favour defender. Percentage chance that this is true? I’d say 95%. Doing the maths, does this suggest that Senderos will replace a current Everton defender? In […]

From this: To this: Jaunty and theatrical, I’d say.

Everton Two, Liverpool One

July 17th, 2009

Everton’s new store is located in Liverpool’s biggest shopping mall, aka Liverpool One. Whoever decided to call the store Everton Two has my undying respect. Everton’s megastore, located at Goodison Park, is now called Everton One. Brilliant.

A simple vote, just because I’d be interested to see which fans ‘win’. (I know who my money is on, just as I know who I’d vote for - every time - but I won’t say just now.) So let it out… which team’s fans do you find the most irritating, self-righteous, idiotic etc? Vote below: Which of […]

[Photo @ venturacountystar.com / Juan Carlo] Everton’s first summer signing is Anton Peterlin… Tumbleweeds roll past… When I first heard about the signing I had no idea who Peterlin was either, but I know a bit more now. He’s a defensive midfielder, he’s American, he’s 22 years old, and the remarkable story of his journey […]

In the last couple of weeks, Pies has been asking club fans to vote for the last player at the club they would want to get rid of. Today it’s the turn of Moyesey’s Everton. So, if you had to sell all but one of Everton’s players (to build an entirely new squad, say), who’d […]

It’s crystal clear where Le Coq Sportif’s designers got the inspiration for Everton’s home shirt for 09/10. As you can see, it’s a deliberate copy of the classic HAFNIA kit of the mid-Eighties, as worn by one of Everton’s finest ever teams - the Eighties revival shows no sign of stopping. And doesn’t Louis Saha look […]

Everton’s big hair bear won’t cut his locks Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain As the photo on the right shows, Marouane Fellaini didn’t always have enormous hair - and look how much happier he looks with a big-ass Afro! Fellaini’s hair has become […]

Blue is the colour at Wembley today What it looks like to face Chelsea I’m not expecting much entertainment from today’s FA Cup Final, the 128th in the competition’s history (stat fans) - and the sun is shining madly in London, so I probably won’t even watch it live (it’s been a manic week of football […]

British football’s greatest Houdini acts 1. West Bromwich Albion (2005) With the odds stacked massively against the Baggies, on the final day of the season they did the only thing they could and beat Portsmouth 2-0. Elsewhere, Crystal Palace drew with Charlton, while Norwich and Southampton both lost. West Brom became the first club to […]

Dirrrrty boys The list is based on fouls committed, which I concede is a flawed way of deciding which players are dirty. For example, there are no defenders on the list, because a) defenders are expected to make tackles, so referees are more lenient on them, and b) midfielders and forwards are simply not as […]

Everton fans 1, all other fans 0 Let’s hear it for Everton fans, who have taken to singing about their left-back Leighton Baines, to the tune of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” (written by Simon about actor Warren Beatty). It goes a little something like this: “Leighton Baines, I bet you think this song is […]

Snapped as Everton beat Man Utd on penalties in last month’s FA Cup semi final.

Danish defenders for dummies, by Pies

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Name Lars Christian Jacobsen

Peroxide Phil

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Top of the morning to you… West Ham reject Tottenham’s £15m offer for Dean Ashton. Spurs dodged a bullet there [Guardian] The C-Ron saga is finally over, says Fergie. The boy’s staying [BBC] The long-term future of Man City is in doubt after it emerged that owner Thaksin Shinawatra has explored the possibility of selling […]

Thursday’s loveliest links WIll Ferrell hearts Chelsea The American funny man was spotted on Jon Stewart’s Daily Show (there to promote new movie Step Brothers) wearing a Chelsea shirt. Go figure. [Unprofessional Foul] Safe soccer Some Cape Town footballers are putting condoms on their feet, so that their socks can stay up longer during matches. […]

Today’s hottest news, rumours and lies have a three-chilli rating Aston Villa are very close (medical permitting) to signing Chelsea misfit Steve Sidwell (pictured) for £5m, as direct replacement for outgoing captain Gareth Barry. Who wants to point out to Martin O’Neill that Sidwell is nowhere near as good as Barry… [BBC] More after the […]

Another day, another batch of rumours 1. Darren Fletcher & Diego Milito to Everton Man Utd’s Scottish international and Real Zaragoza’s Argentine striker are high on David Moyes’ wanted list. Andy Johnson could be sold to fund the double deal. [Liverpool Daily Post] Pies verdict I doubt Fergie will sell Fletcher, but there’s a good […]

Finding the Lonely Hearts of Euro 2008 the perfect home in the Premier League

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Arsenal – Artur Boruc
Poland’s keeper was in top form during the competition and a move to a top four club could be enough to tempt him away from Celtic. The Gunners – with Jens Lehmann on his way out – could be interested.

Transfer truths or sneaky speculation from bored hacks? You decide.

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1. Samir Nasri to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger has launched an £11 million bid to bring the new Zidane to the Emirates. Nasri wants to make the move and the only stumbling block is Marseille’s masterplan that they might get Hatem Ben Arfa in a swap deal if they sell to Lyon instead.