By Chris Wright

Right. Straight off the bat, Pies would like to clarify that we’re not saying this is 100% definitely the design for Arsenal’s new home kit for 2012/13.

What we are saying is that this mock-up has been drafted by Arsenalinsider, who have a decent hit-rate on these sorts of things and who are also claiming to have been privy to a photo of the actual design courtesy of a deepthroat informant in the Nike camp and that they are willing to stand by their reproduction ‘such is the strength of belief in their source’.

Make of that what you will.

Here’s AI’s preliminary mock-up, which is just an altered version of an existing Arsenal strip, which shows that – along with the classic ‘red with white sleeves’ formation – Nike are hell-bent on tagging on a set of gruesome navy blue (they look black/dark grey on the image, but AI claim they’re navy) collars and cuffs…

Pies verdict? We’re remaining suitably dubious, but that’s nasty. Looks like an knock-off Egypt strip from the early 1990s. For Arsenal’s sake, here’s hoping it’s a wind-up.

Believe/cast aspersions as you see fit, but one thing’s certain; if this design actually comes to fruition, there’s going to be a lot of jilted Gooners out there. How can you get such an elegant strip so wrong?

Anyone out there a fan? Anyone?

[Image: Arsenalinsider]

                          

By Greg Evans

So, here we stand. Just one game away from finding out who will win the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations – a tournament which stampeded out of the blocks with a thrilling start, but has since turned into something of a pale imitation of itself with a few drab games starting to crop up as the stakes get higher.

By way of a quick recap, after a roller-coaster group phase, the quarter-finals plodded along with a couple of noteworthy upsets but nothing overly outrageous to dwell upon. Anyway, before we begin looking forward to Sunday’s thoroughly unexpected final match-up in Libreville, let’s have a little look at what cracked off in yesterday’s semi-final encounters to produce it.

Zambia 1-0 Ghana…

On paper, and to those otherwise unaware of Ghana’s off-colour showing this year, this game looked like a gimme for the Black Stars, but Zambia managed to dispatch their staggeringly poor opposition without too much fuss.

Uncharacteristically, the Zambian team were quite happy to sit back and absorb pressure, hitting Ghana on the counter-attack as and when. The ‘long haul’ tactic eventually paid off – but it could have easily backfired when Ghana were awarded a penalty in the first half.

UAE-based money grabber Asamoah Gyan stepped up with the intentions of breezing Ghana into a cocksure lead, though his wan effort was repelled thanks to a fine save from Zambian keeper Kennedy Mweene.

In all fairness, a fluffed penalty was about the only thing Gyan contributed to the game, and his lacklustre approach saw him subbed on the 74-minute mark. He’s since become a national scapegoat rather unfairly though, given his blunt African Nations campaign, I doubt Martin O’Neill will be recalling him into a rejuvenated Sunderland set-up once the striker’s Arabian vacation comes to an end in July.

Anyway, shortly after Gyan’s departure Zambia found the back of the net. Second-half substitute Emmanuel Mayuka, held the ball up on the edge of the area, fooled the defender with an exquisite feinted backheel and curled the ball low into the far bottom corner, well beyond the reach of Adam Kwarasey.

That wasn’t the end of things though. Ghana pressed the Chipolopolos for a late equaliser and came close on several occasions, no thanks to some shocking defending from Zambia. Unfortunately, it all fell apart on 83 minutes when Derek Boateng, who had otherwise been fantastic, was shown a harsh red card for a second bookable offence (both offences added together barely warranted a yellow).

Great scenes followed the final whistle, as the Zambia team, who have been through the mangle and suffered some true tragedies in their recent history, celebrated reaching their first ACoN final since 1994.

A lot of questions will be asked in the Ghanaian camp though, especially after so many of their big stars underperformed so very badly.

Mali 0-1 Ivory Coast…

As they have done all tournament, Ivory Coast stormed to yet another easy victory as their collective charge towards the Liberville final continued in the last 4 – this time at the expense of Mali.

A uninspiring game was settled by just one goal, but a special goal nonetheless. Gervinho picked the ball just inside his own half and, after a quick nutmeg through Ousmane Berthe’s pins, he was away – bursting down the left hand flank, unopposed by any oncoming defenders, the spindly Arsenal forward slotted the ball into the opposite corner and ran off to celebrate.

Impressive as it was, the Ivory Coast’s goal was conceded far too softly. Indeed, there is an argument that it could have been prevented if the Malian captain, Cedric Kante, had actually decided to close down Gervinho rather than watching what Yaya Toure was doing elsewhere. Guess we’ll never know now.

That’s not to take anything away from Gervinho himself, who galloped a vast distance before retaining a cool head (his forehead probably regulates cranium temperature far more efficiently than your average human being) to roll an angled finish in from a tight-ish angle. Gunners fans will be hoping to see a lot more of that when he returns to these shores.

The second half was a scrappy affair as both teams pressed but neither side managed to score again. Ivory Coast were denied by some timely saves from Soumbeila Diakite, whilst Mali simply couldn’t get past the colossal duo of Kolo Toure and Leicester’s Sol Bamba. Toure was a real rock in the heart of the defence. Any Manchester City fans who have been watching will be eager to see him return to their starting line up if this form continues. Let’s just say “he’s considerably better than Stefan Savic” and leave it at that.

For Mali, it was an impressive effort to get this far, considering they have relied heavily on Seydou Keita throughout most of the tournament. As talented as the Barcelona midfielder clearly is, he’s not the kind of player that can carry a side to tournament glory.

As for the Elephants, they’re now just one game away from getting their hands back on Africa’s most prestigious trophy. Incidentally, they’ve not conceded a single goal throughout the entire tournament so far – which is just about as ominous as stats come from an opponent’s perspective.

* * * * *

Sunday’s final, on paper at least, should be a classic. The fast-paced passing and shoot-on-sight mentality of Zambia playing off against the strong and direct football of Ivory Coast.

It will undoubtedly be an emotional occasion as Zambia look to exorcise the demons of their fallen comrades in 1993, whilst this golden generation of Ivory Coast players are looking to win their first major tournament together.

For Mali and Ghana, an unwanted third-place play-off remains for them to contest. There’s a good chance that the lure of the wooden spoon game will be ‘niche’ at best, however Sunday’s final looks like a special event – celebrating all that is great about African football.

More from Greg ‘One Eye on Africa’ Evans on Pies…

2012 ACoN Group Stage Review: The Intoxicatingly Ebullient Story So Far
2012 ACoN Quarter-Final Review: Boom And Bust As Co-Hosts Bow Out

                          

WIN THE CHANCE FOR YOUR CHILD TO BE A McDONALD’S PLAYER ESCORT AT THE ENGLAND V HOLLAND MATCH

We’ve teamed up with McDonald’s, the official Community Partner of The FA, to offer three lucky youngsters between the ages of 7 and 11 years old the chance to become McDonald’s Player Escorts as England take on Holland in an international friendly on 29^th February.

This once-in-a-lifetime experience includes the chance to walk out, hand-in-hand, with the nation’s greatest footballers as they line up to take centre stage against Van Marwijk’s ‘Oranje’ army in the first friendly of the year.  The prize includes four tickets to the match as well as a goody bag, replica national shirt and shorts and a contribution towards travel expenses on the day for each player escort.

McDonald’s has been the Community Partner of the FA since 2002 and aims to help young footballers shine.  Since the partnership was formed, McDonalds has created over 20,000 qualified football coaches, offering 2 million hours of free, quality football to young players across the UK.

Sir Geoff Hurst, McDonald’s Director of Football said: “Young football fans across the world dream of one day playing for their country and becoming a Player Escort takes them one step closer by  walking out with footballing icons at the national stadium.  It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I hope the children have a really fantastic evening and fingers crossed England start 2012 with a win!”

To be in with a chance of winning this fantastic prize, answer the following question:

Q: What was the score when England faced Holland at Euro 1996

To quality you must also be following pies on twitter.

Send your answers  - with name and contact telephone number – to: comp@whoateallthepies.tv. Include “ENGLAND MASCOT” in subject line.

The first three entries to be randomly selected from all correct answers will win.

For more information on McDonald’s grassroots programmes and for future competitions visit www.TheFA.com/yourgame.

Terms & Conditions

In addition to these Provisions, entrants are bound by both the Promoter’s terms and conditions at www.whoateallthepies.tv and the “General Rules”.

Participants must be 18 and over, UK resident and a parent or guardian of the child wanting to receive a place as a player escort. Enter the Promotion between Thursday 9^th February 2012 and 23:59 Tuesday 14th February 2012 inclusive. Answer a question correctly to be entered in to a draw for a chance to win. No limit on entries. Entries only by email. 3 prizes to be won. Each comprises 1 player escort place at the England v Holland match on 29th February 2012 for a child aged 7 – 11 at time of match, plus 4 tickets and a player escort strip. parent/guardian must sign liability release, certification and publicity-consent forms and accompany the player escort. Winners will be notified by phone or email on or before Wednesday 15th February 2012.  Prize award lapses if not confirmed in accordance with promoter’s instructions by 13:00 on Friday 17th February 2012; promoter may select alternative winner. Winners will need to cooperate with media activity including press releases, editorial and photographs on the UK websites of the Promoter, McDonald’s, and The FA and in winners’ local media and McDonald’s UK restaurants. Promoter – Who Ate all the Pies

                          

By Chris Wright

The following is copy-and-pasted verbatim from a Chelsea forum, in which former Chelsea youth player Sam Tillen – who now plays his football in Iceland – writes candidly about his experiences as having John Terry as his club captain during his formative years.

I’ve no idea when it dates from, but the article has been translated directly from Icelandic so it may not scan properly in places. That said, it’s perfectly legible and presents Terry in a rarely acknowledged light. It may just add another dimension to your monochrome view of a man so often vilified by all and sundry (hands up, Pies have been as guilty as anyone else on that front on occasion)…

As football fans, we don’t get a lot of opportunities to judge a player’s persona, all we get is stuff from the newspaper and other medias and of course how the player acts on the football pitch. It’s normal that our feelings towards them are based on those things, since we don’t know them personally. But unfortunately this can be very deceiving.

Sometimes reporters can have a lot of propaganda. They could have had an argument with the player, be friends with his ex-wife or support a rival club. When a player steps on the field on a Saturday the whole world watches him play under the pressure of his life. Players, managers and supporters have all been waiting for this moment – kick off.

It’s abnormal to judge people’s behaviour under these circumstances. Do you think that when Gary Neville wins a game of hide and seek with his daughter he yells at his wife “Come on!!!!” while he holds on to his shirt like he did in front of Liverpool supporters at Old Trafford? I think not.

When you are around the training ground you get to see the players in their true form. Some of them surprise and charm you while others dissappoint you. This would also be the case if you meet someone in real life. The fact that footballers are famous does not make them any different. They just have talent in a specific field just like doctors or architects. Some of them are good people, others are not.

The year 2002, I was 17 and had been injured for eight months. I usually had to train twice as much to be in form. I trained with several players during rehabilation and since John Terry was facing injury as well I trained a lot with him. We trained together for three or four weeks before he began to play again and prove himself as the number one center-back in the first team.

After this, John always observed how I was doing with my injury and he wished me good luck for my first game after 11 months of rehabilation. Unfortunately in that first game I got heavily injured again and had to go to surgery three days later. When the physio came to visit me he said that ‘JT’ had asked if I could get vacation and he even asked Graeme (Le Saux) if they could use the ‘discipline fund’ (money collected if a player comes to training late and such) from the first team to pay for my vacation. I couldn’t believe it.

After staying home for ten days, I went to the training ground and John was there. He asked how I was doing and then said “Me and Graeme have arranged for you to go to a vacation, you can go wherever you want, with your friend or your brother, you deserve something good. Just think about where you want to go, this isn’t your money! Just let us know how much it costs and we will arrange it.

I didn’t know what to say other than ‘thank you’. I talked to the youth and reserve coaches and they told me it was probably best for me to take the vacation. One of the reserve coaches said that I still had that ‘hospital color’ because I was as white as a ghost. I lost a lot of blood in the surgery and it showed in my face.

My mother had also just had surgery so she could use a a little break from work. That’s why I wanted to take her with me. It was October so I needed to find ‘some place hot’ like John advised me to do.

The one place close that was hot enough was Southern Spain and because this wasn’t my money I didn’t want to take advantage of the generosity from John. So, the next day during practice I said to John “Is it okay if me and my mother go to Sevilla over the weekend?”

His answer was, “Come on Tills! You can go wherever you want for free, why do you want to go there? It won’t even be hot. Look at it again, go to the Caribbean or something, you can sit at the beach without having to worry how much it is going to cost, we will make sure of it.”

So I went and checked again and found a good offer for a trip to Tobago. I talked to my physio for a few days and he said “It’s fine, just talk to JT.” I still felt for bad spending other people’s money, I had never done that before. So naturally I was a little nervous when I was talking to John, telling him about the trip I had in mind.

And what did John say? ”No problem, good choice! Just give me the info and we’ll pay it.” He arranged everything and the day before I was leaving for the trip he called me over in the dressing room. “Tills, your going tomorrow, right?” He went to his pocket and took out £100. ”Here, some pocket money to spend”. I said that I couldn’t accept it. He asked again and again I refused. Then he stood up and said “you’re not going anywhere until you accept this!”. I had no choice.

When I came back from the trip, I was renewed and a large part of the reason was that I was finally ready to play football again, 6 months after my surgery.

In my first game after the injury (in the youth team) we were playing Crystal Palace at our training ground. The first team wasn’t suppose to have training until 3pm but our game was at 10am. John came to see me play, 5 hours before his training. He came just to see if I would get through the game, which happened. He certainly didn’t have to do that, but he did.

When by brother Joe was in the youth team, John paid for driving lessons for every single player in the youth team because he knew how expensive it was when you only get £80-a-week in wages. The youth players just had to tell him how much it cost and John paid it the next day.

At that time, when the youth players were cleaning the first team players’ boots, everyone wanted to get one of the ‘sharks’ – John, Frank Lampard, Jody Morris, etc – because they gave the highest christmas bonuses. Some players didn’t give any bonuses even though the youth players had cleaned they’re boots for six months.

John didn’t only give high bonuses, but he even paid for the youth players fines if he thought they were being treated unfairly. Of course, he told them not to tell a soul.

John has never forgotten what it was like to be a player in the youth team and he is the perfect captain. He was always available if you wanted to talk to him. He always asked every youth player how they were doing in the team. If he heard that you played well in a match, he congratulated and encouraged you. He really had an interest. He never forgot the young players.

He was always monitored the youth players, including me. For instance, he found an agent for me that I signed with. When youth players traveled with the first team he always made sure that they got their bonuses, that made a lot of difference in their paychecks.

He helped them adapt and welcomed them into a new environment. On the pitch and the training ground he was magnificent, he had an heart like a lion. He trained after practices, always did that little extra. We really looked up to him.

It wasn’t just the youth players either. There are endless stories of his kindness and generosity, stories that never left the training ground. One of them stands out: We had an old masseuse called Al. One day his car broke down for good. He said that he couldn’t attend training sessions anymore because it was very difficult for a man of his age to use public transport.

One day after practice, John told him to go to the parking lot and close his eyes. When he opened them he saw a brand new car. John had asked every player in the first team to chip in to buy Al a new car. The old man started to cry. This all happened before Roman Abramovich and before John was a superstar and started making big money.

Last year Al got seriously sick and had to be in a hospital. When John found out, he immediately contacted him. Al was flattered to hear from him, and his wife was delighted that John had taken the time to think about him. John visited Al regularly until he passed away and John, of course, attended his funeral.

Marcel Desailly – the Chelsea captain before him – didn’t do anything like the things John did. He couldn’t care less about the young players or anyone else in the club for that matter.

As a player he was impeccable, but as a captain he did nothing and wasn’t even close to what John is. In my first and second year in the youth team it was our job to get signed shirts from players from the first team, those shirts where then sent to fans or to a charity.

We all stood in a row in the hallway before practices when the first team players walked passed us and then they signed the shirts. When Mr. Desailly came, he usually pretended to be on the phone so he didn’t have to do anything. We were like “Marcel, uuuuuumm, Marcel, could you please…..” and then he was gone. Disappointment.

Some players cause you a lot of disappointment when you meet them personally. They also do that in daily life. John has, of course, had a few problems off the pitch that have gotten a lot of press, but I will always remember how he treated me when I was a teenager.

No one else would have done that or even thought about doing it. He is no saint, but there is a reason why Chelsea fans, players and staff look at John Terry as a real leader.”

Cockle warming. Take from that what you will. I’m sure it won’t go along way to adding any perspective or depth to the vast majority of people’s opinion of the man, but it’s certainly refreshing to hear Terry’s name mentioned in a positive context once in a blue moon.

Spotted on The Shed (Via the talkchelsea forum)

                          

By Chris Wright

Fabio Capello’s four-year England tenure over the course of 20 (you must promise here and now not to count them!) fabulous photos…

So long Fabio, and thanks for all the fish. Farewell and good luck.

[Photos: PA]

                          

By Chris Wright

You turn your back for one second and what happens? Just three months and three friendly games before Euro 2012 gets under way in June, Fabio Capello resigned as England manager last night after spending the afternoon bickering with FA chairman David Bernstein and general secretary Alex Horne at Wembley over his comments made to the Italian media vis-a-vis the FA’s premature decision to strip John Terry of the national captaincy.

The FA released the following statement:

“The Football Association can confirm that Fabio Capello has today resigned as England manager.

“The discussions focused on the FA Board’s decision to remove the England team captaincy from John Terry, and Fabio Capello’s response through an Italian broadcast interview.

“In a meeting for over an hour, Fabio’s resignation was accepted and he will leave the post of England manager with immediate effect.”

Capello felt undermined, so did Bernstein and Horne. They employ him. He got canned. That seems to be the long and short of it.

The FA, the English press and Capello; It was a loveless tri-pronged marriage from the offing. One of the great, weeping epics of our time. Like a husband and wife (and wife), growing old and decrepit together while the relationship gradually becomes utterly sapped of requited romance - only continuing to sleep in the same bed at night as he’s handy to have around when the fuses need changing and she’s willing to do all the household paperwork. By the end, they all despised each other.

It’s over. Rightly or wrongly, it’s over. Capello leaves behind him the best winning ratio of any permanent England manager ever (66.67%, beating Sir Alf’s 61.1%), breezing through two separate qualification campaigns with ne’er a hitch while losing only two competitive matches during his 41-game, four-year tenure.

The fractious World Cup debacle is an albatross he’ll have to bear, though the contributing factors are myriad and the blame is to be shared out equally. Capello went in with a distant, disciplinarian modus operandi and the players weren’t malleable or willing enough to conform. It just didn’t work.

And so, quite naturally it would seem, our thoughts turn to Harry Redknapp – who is, unfortunately for those of us who perish the thought, the only real outstanding candidate for the post. If this morning’s Tweets are anything to go by, all the major players (Rooney, Ferdinand, etc) want Redknapp sworn in post haste as well as every single journalist in the land – though leaving an ascendant Tottenham in the lurch will undoubtedly be a wrench.

It seems Arry’s reluctance to go in for the whole ‘drafting up in-depth player dossiers and tactical gubbins bordering on telemetry’ approach is proving to be a popular prospect for a dumb squad who just couldn’t deal with Capello’s rigorous scrutiny.

Is Redknapp a better, more thorough manager and tactician than Capello? No, absolutely not. Is he more likely to see this current crop of England internationals through the Euro 2012 group stage on a wave of brevity and BANTAAAH! Quite possibly.

The whispers on the wind are that Stuart Pearce will be taking temporary charge of England for their friendly against Holland at the end of February, with a decision being made on the course of action imminent shortly after.

(UPDATE: The FA have just confirmed that Pearce will be put in temporary charge for the Holland game.)

My personal prediction? Redknapp will take charge for Euro 2012 on a temporary basis and then return to Spurs for pre-season. England will do ‘the usual’, exit with a whimper and Arry will get off scot free (again) as it was all Capello’s big, slab-faced fault for upsetting the nation’s apple cart so close to the start of the tournament. The excuse is ready-made and nigh-on irrefutable.

Any thoughts folks?

                          

By Chris Wright

“There’s contact…juuuuust…hold on…wait a second…there.”

Ne’er does a week go by without some dime-a-dozen pundit rolling it out. That sodding word. ‘Contact’. A word which is quickly becoming the bane of my very existence. Even to look at it up on the page there, sitting all smarmy and aloof, makes my bile rise and blood to begin to pulse from my tear ducts.

Though I’m at pains to point out that it only causes my vital fluids to leak out through my facial orifices when it’s used in a very specific context. I’m not crazy.

Most recently, last weekend to precise, it was used willy-nilly to absolve both Adam Johnson and Danny Welbeck of any guilt after the pair independently took the conscious decision to label all of the emails their respective synapses were sending to their lower legs as ‘spam’ and duly floundering to the turf unencumbered while vast numbers of ‘always do your best to stay upright’ memos piled up in their trash folders.

In short, they dived. Like Jacques Cousteau giving Greg Louganis scuba lessons off the coast of Divington-upon-Sea. They both knowingly attempted to cheat. Nothing more, nothing less.

However, in addition to letting gravity take over at the wheel, both players kicked out a lower limb in the direction of the nearest available heat source – Chris Baird in Johnson’s case, Branislav Ivanovic in Welbeck’s – in order to engineer that seemingly crucial ‘contact’ before their trunks hit the deck.

The Man City winger has since pedalled the old ‘I was only anticipating contact’ defense – which is, of course, utter tripe.

Skip to the 1:38 mark for Johnson’s little ‘anticipation of contact’

Not that this kind of thing is the sole preserve of Messrs. Johnson and Welbeck. Far from it. Indeed, the practice of kicking out legs or dragging feet to ensure contact seems to have been slowly gaining favour with those willing to readily surrender their integrity for at least a few years now – though it’s now becoming worryingly prevalent. I’m talking once-or-twice-a-game prevalent.

The root of the problem (other than the actual ‘simulation’ itself) for me is the use of the word ‘contact’ and the context it’s used therein.

To use Welbeck’s flop against Chelsea as an example; at no point was there enough outside force acting upon him sufficient enough for him to lose his footing. There just wasn’t. He reached the edge of the area, was fully aware of his grid co-ordinates and fell over looking for a penalty because it was easier than trying to carve out a scoring chance. As he went down, he made sure – quite consciously – that he kicked a foot out against Ivanovic to ensure there was…you guessed it, it’s that magic word again…contact. Completely synthetic, absurd, irrelevant contact.

‘THERE WAS CONTACT!’ comes the immediate cry from the gallery.

So bleeding what? He still cheated, didn’t he?

Contact doesn’t, or more precisely, shouldn’t necessarily mean a foul has taken place. There are shades of grey, but it’s trotted out ad infinitum by studious pundits (usually ex-players that regularly hark back to the days when you could kick an opponent into the terraces without reproach), resolutely partisan managers and clueless armchair lollygaggers alike.

Theoretically at least, football is a contact sport; contact is required, necessary and even demanded in some instances – though it galls me to the down to the plums that the word is routinely aired in an attempt to absolve, let’s face it, cheats of their dive-happy crimes against the spirit of the game.

It all seems to be part of a bigger problem to me, though maybe I’m just paranoid. It’s almost as if football as an organisation, especially in the upper echelons, are trying desperately to create and preserve a veneer of perfection to present to the watching world. As the market grows, the purer the product must seem.

On grandiose stages such as World Cups and the Champions League we regularly see referees now officiating with ridiculously infuriating and finicky standards; doling out yellows for the most inane of offences in a bid to uphold a sheen of sterile, sanitised and clinical football. It’s FIFA-scrutinised conduct which has a definite trickle-down effect through the rest of the football hierarchy.

Players are frequently starting to go down to mask poor touches, naff control and a lack of technical proficiency and being vindicated by a short shrill peep of the referee’s whistle. As soon as the ball squirts away, legs are thrown from underneath and the old ACME sounds.

I’m not calling out a vast global conspiracy here, but it’s like they can’t be seen to make a mistake. Pandering to inadequacy in order to preserve a façade of flawlessly consummate ability is what is it. At least in my eyes.

You trap a ball further than most men can kick one during a Sunday League match – you get the almighty snot torn out of you for the rest of the day by guffawing teammates (bitter, bitter experience). You do it in the Premier League and you get a free-kick in your favour IF you successfully managed to get to ground in time.

That’s just not kosher Eileen.

“Silken hankies you say? Not a bad idea!”

On a similar tack and definitely an offshoot of the whole ‘pandering to inadequacy’ thing, a personal pet peeve of mine is the relatively new-fangled ‘hoof it up the touchline past your marker and then run into him’ technique now employed by useless wingers the world over.

The trick is to remember that you must always throw your hands up in the air as you buffet into your turning opponent and make pleading eye contact with the ref as if to say ‘what the hell is this dim-witted chump playing at?’

The worst part is, it never seems to fail. ‘Phweep‘ goes the whistle.

We’re continually told we’re looking at a clunky full-back failing to read a tricky winger’s cute footwork and/or deal with his pace, when in reality we’re looking at a one-trick pony winger and a poor sod of a full-back who was left with absolutely no chance of getting out of the way.

Does no-one else get riled by this on an almost weekly, almost matchly basis ? It makes me froth with rage, so it does.

I realise I’m just aimlessly ranting now, and I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped reading several paragraphs ago, but a) it’s incredibly carthartic and b) I need to know I’m not completely alone when it comes to these matters.

I’m no Luddite clogger, far from it. The last thing I want is a return to the days when it was considered perfectly acceptable to dislodge a player’s retinas in the name of man-marking, but there must be a limit to how much physicality you can outlaw and how much simpering you’re willing to allow.

I can’t help but genuinely fear that – by the Qatar World Cup perhaps – a tackle will consist of a defender tugging a silken hanky out of an opponent’s waistband and waving it coyly at the referee, while goals will be awarded for those who ask nicely enough.

                          

By Greg Evans

Ayew do you do guvnor?

After the entertaining, exciting, exuberant and down-right enthralling set of matches that the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations laid on for us in the group stages, surely it could only get better for the last 8?

The quarters threw up some potentially great matches, with established African giants taking on ballsy underdogs and vice-versa. Star names like Drogba, Toure, Gyan and Keita were in the hat and purring along as expected, but newer emerging talent; names like Pierre Aubameyang, Christopher Katongo and Rainford Kalaba, had all shone in the previous rounds (and wreaked havoc with spell check). The promise of the new blood mixing it with the old guard was an enticing one.

It stood to reason that, with the deadwood flushed from the competition, the knockout stages should have been chock-full of all-guns-blazing, high octane football. How verily wrong we were.

Zambia 3-0 Sudan…

Sudan’s unlikely success came to an end on Saturday night at the hands of the ever-impressive Zambia. The Sudanese were completely torn apart by the Zambian front three of Kabala, Katongo and Mayuka.

Following Stophira Sunzu’s 15th minute opener, the score stood at 1-0 to Zambia for what seemed like an age. For roughly an hour or so, Sudan competed fairly well, moving the ball around comfortably and creating a number of chances – yet, on the 66th-minute mark, it all fell apart on 66 when Ali Saif Eldin brought down Kalaba in the area and was duly given his marching orders.

Katongo missed the penalty but knocked in the rebound to put the Chipolopolos two up, with the Desert Hawks completely collapsing thereafter -substitute James Chamanga rounding off Sudan’s miserable evening, slotting away a lovely third goal to flesh out the victory.

Ivory Coast 3-0 Equatorial Guinea…

Once again, Ivory Coast cruised to another victory, winning 3-0 against co-hosts Equatorial Guinea – a side who had won the hearts of a fair few neutrals thanks to some gutsy displays during the group stages. However, this game was proved to be the dreaded ‘game too far’.

A determined Didier Drogba ran riot, scoring a brace -indeed, the Ivorian goal machine had earlier missed a penalty, which probably spurred him onto to make amends. The Nzalang Nacional had tried fought hard but the Elephants were just too strong, skillful and damned elephantish. Yaya Toure’s emphatic 30-yard free-kick rounded up proceedings nicely and sent the men from the Equator packing.

However, they can certainly hold their heads high as, when you factor in that they were the lowest ranked team in the tournament (151st) – to have made it to the knockout phase was in and of itself an undertaking of near-Herculean magnitude.

Gabon 1-1 Mali (Mali win 4-5 on pens)…

Sad, sad news.

Gabon; co-hosts and my personal team of the tournament, have crashed out of the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations. They finally succumbed to a resolute (and fairly boring) Mali team, who defended well but probably didn’t deserve to go through in the grand scheme of things on account of being – as I alluded to earlier – fairly boring.

Gabon’s Eric Mouloungui scored the opening goal early in the second half but the Panthers failed to capitalise on their advantage. Instead, Mali bided bid bade? boded? bideded their time until sub Cheick Diabate scrambled the ball across the line in the 84th minute to break Gabonese hearts.

As extra-time rumbled on, both sides looked fairly content to wear down the clock and settle things over penalties…and that’s exactly what happened.

With the two teams tied at three penalties-a-piece, Gabon’s rhinestone-booted pin-up boy Pierre Aubameyang stepped up to surely clip his spot-kick home with carefree abandon? Wrong! The Neymar-a-like saw his effort parried away by Mali keeper Soumbeila Diakite.

It was then left to Mali’s Mr Dependable, Barcelona midfielder Seydou Keita, to seal the victory from 12 yards, which he duly did do – very dependably.

You have to feel for Aubameyang, who had been a real shining light in the competition up until that point. For his failed spot-kick to be the one to knock his country out of the Africa Cup of Nations was a really cruel twist of the knife.

Ghana 2-1 Tunisia…

Quite how Ghana have managed to stumble their way through to this point in the tournament is staggering. Once again, they somehow engineered themselves a win out of absolutely nothing after coming up trumps against the Tunisians.

In fairness, the Black Stars got off to a flyer when John Mensah nodded home after ten minutes, yet they were pegged back before half time when influential Tunisian striker Sabeur Khalifa scored from close range.

The second half saw an end-to-end game with both Emmanuel Badu and Youssef Msakni coming close for their respective teams. Extra-time was soon upon us and just when it looked penalties would be ushered in to determine things, the Tunisian goalkeeper dropped an absolute clanger to gift Ghana a late, late win.

A fairly innocuous cross was floated into the box, a cross that should have been an easy routine take for the hapless Aymen Mathlouthi. Unfortunately for him,common sense abandoned him in this trying hour and the ball simply squibbled free of his grasp for Marseille winger Andre ‘Dede’ Ayew to poke into the vacant net and thus secure Ghana’s passage to the semi-finals.

Aymen Abdennour didn’t help his fellow Tunisian compatriots by getting needlessly sent-off as the game descended into something of a farce in the closing minutes. Oh silly Abdennour, will you ever learn?

* * * * *

So, within the matter of 48 hours, both co-host nations have been knocked out and the stronger, more experienced nations have restored some sort of footballing order. As such, the semi-finals look a bit like this…

Zambia vs Ghana
Mali vs Ivory Coast

I’m not one to make predictions, but with Ghana being rather uninspiring so far and having to face the electric Zambians, I fancy we may have a real upset on the cards.

A Ghana-Ivory Coast final it is then.

In a ‘suggested further reading’-type thing, you can read Greg’s all-encompassing retrospective of the ACoN’s group stages here.

                          

By Chris Wright

Early on Saturday morning Nottingham Forest owner and former chairman Nigel Doughty was found dead, aged 54, in the gym at his home in Lincolnshire.

A Forest fan from birth, Doughty saved the club – and I don’t use that term flippantly – from being reduced to it’s component parts and being flogged off to the highest bidders when he bought his football team using nigh-on £11 million of his own personal wealth back in 1999.

A dyed-in-the-wool Red’n, Doughty took on the mantle already well versed in just how Sisyphean it is to be a Forest fan and already well aware of just how thankless the task of appeasing a fanbase still trying (and largely failing) to get to grips with the yawning discrepancy between the club’s means, the club’s once-proud past and the club’s bloated sense of self-entitlement really was/is.

Like almost all football club owners, Doughty had his foibles. He was divisive, made outwardly baffling executive decisions on occasion and was perhaps guilty of the biggest ownership sin possible in the average fan’s blinkered canon – a heinous reluctance to spend every penny he owned.

For this, he received repeated barrages of utterly moronic abuse and staged protests from some sections. The fact that he had already shovelled £100 million of his own money into preserving a tentative veneer of competitiveness at the club somehow falling completely by the wayside. All he wanted was to bankroll Forest back to the Premier League.

Doughty may have made costly mistakes, but he always acted with best intentions. To take recent developments as an example; while still fulfilling the role of chairman, he sacked Billy Davies (who had the club over-achieving in the Championship by reaching the play-offs for two years straight but also complained incessantly about a lack of board backing for his entire tenure) and replaced him with the altogether more passive Steve McLaren. A big name.

It didn’t work. McLaren failed to take root, the body rejected the head and the former England manager was paid handsomely to leave just 112 days later. It was a resounding botch and Doughty took full responsibility – resigning as chairman by way of penance in October of last year. However, he also he made a point of declaring that he would continue to fulfil his financial obligations to the club. No pissy ‘I’m taking my ball home’ tantrums. Who would that have benefited?

Everything he did, he felt was right for Forest. You simply can’t knock that.

Thank you Nigel.

R.I.P

                          

By Chris Wright

“Say what now?”

The FA have just released the following statement, confirming that England’s John Terry has been stripped of the national team captaincy for the second time in his long and distinguished career:

“Following the decision to adjourn the court case against John Terry to July, the Football Association confirm he will not captain the England team until the allegations against him are resolved.

The FA Board expected the trial to be concluded prior to the European Championship. Further to Wednesday’s confirmation that the trial will not take place until after the tournament, the Board has discussed the matter in detail and has collectively decided it is in the interests of all parties that John has the responsibilities of captaincy removed at this time.

“This decision has been taken due to the higher profile nature of the England captaincy, on and off the pitch, and the additional demands and requirements expected of the captain leading into and during a tournament.

“The FA Board can confirm that he has not been excluded from the squad and that Fabio Capello is free to select him for the Holland fixture on 29 February and the European Championship.

“FA Chairman David Bernstein has spoken to both John Terry and Fabio Capello to explain the facts to them. Fabio Capello has not been involved in the FA Board discussions which reached this conclusion, but understands that the FA Board has authority to make this decision.

“Fabio Capello will take the decision as to who will be made captain moving forward.

“This decision in no way infers any suggestion of guilt in relation to the charge made against John Terry. The FA will be not be making any further comment on this matter.”

So many questions: Who will take over? (Gerrard, if he’s back in the fold) Will Terry be included in the Euro 2012 squad (Probably, though I foresee a fortuitous injury cropping up a week or so beforehand) Will he retire from international football all together? (No) Will he play for England again (Depends on the trial) Will Rio shake his hand this Sunday? (The FA will do away with it again à la QPR) Will England crash out at the quarters in Polkraine regardless of who is the grunt in the armband? (Yessir).

Any thoughts folks? I can’t seem to gather mine.