By Chris Wright

‘The Hart Fart’ appears to be a phenomenon that most Man City fans are aware of already, being as though their official in-house television channel has already produced an in-depth analysis package to accompany the video.

For the unenlightened, the clip is taken from City’s 2011 blooper reel and sees Joe Hart letting go of a little bum toot in the back of a taxi, with captain Vincent Kompany trying desperately to keep a straight face in order to admonish young Joseph and his rogue sphincter, while Micah Richards just explodes in fits of howling laughter…

Yep. They roped in Noel Gallagher to pundit a fart.

Via Dirty Tackle

                          

By Chris Wright

Whenever the world gets higgledy-piggledy, thank the lawd that we’ll always have NMA TV to make sense of it on our behalf.

Here we have the Taiwanese news agency’s animated take on Fabio Capello’s resignation and the furore that exacerbated it, which contains some very dubious imagery – indeed, the first ten seconds is among the most libellous material I’ve ever witnessed, and the ‘sinking ship’ quip? Very near the knuckle/massively insensitive.

Gawd bless NMA…

NMA: An oasis of clarity in a mad, mad world.

                          

By Chris Wright

I think I may have an idea why Chelsea are stuttering a bit this season; if this video is anything to go by, their training sessions are utter chaos!

Firstly we see some assorted slapping from everyone present, then Fernando Torres exacts revenge on John Terry for an earlier buffeting by wrestling him to the ground. It’s quite something to behold, like Shadowfax trying to mount some kind of man-sized rodent.

What follows is some lovely dancing, Josh McEachran struggling to get into a Horrible Histories book (quite literally), a bit of long-range buttock bruising, a Norman Wisdom-esque Juan Mata dropping his phone and to top it all off – full of confidence after downing his captain with a suplex - Torres attempting to repeat the feat on poor Raul Meireles, duly nicking his luminous yellow handkerchief in the process…

Will the fun never end?!

Video: Chelsea TV

                          

Presenting: The best of the morning’s memes. Ah, the internet.

1. Arry’s job application…

2. Arry’s job application (first draft)…

3. The real reason for Capello’s resignation…

4. The stand-off…

5. Arry’s Facebook page…

6. (Via OTP) FA unveil new England HQ…

Via Reddit

                          

Just Sir Alex Ferguson and Falkirk striker Farid El Alagui sharing a moment outside what appears to be an air-raid shelter…

Pies says: “Sir Alex’s smile begins to fade as a fifteenth consecutive game of ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ ends in a draw”

You say?

                          

By Chris Wright

As you no doubt remember, former Italy battering ram Christian Vieri is appearing on the Italian version of ‘Strictly Come Dancing With The Stars On Ice-Factor’ at the moment – with his latest routine, a Brazilian Capoeira (a dance based on a strain of martial arts, made famous by Tekken’s Eddie Gordo), showcasing all the grace and mobility he displayed on the football pitch during his last few years as a pro, i.e, absolutely none…

Judges, can we have your scores please?

Ah.

                          

Promise this is the last time we’ll mention ‘you know who’…

Via the brilliant False 9.

                          

…it is Meow!

Yep. That soddin’ cat was the one, sole highlight of the drudgerous (possibly not a real word) stalemate at Anfield last night.

                          

Finishing up in little more than an unbuttoned shirt and a cheeky smile at a sub-freezing Loftus Road, the bloody scamps over at Sky Sports News had Chris Kamara switch around an item of clothing every time they cut from the Soccer Saturday studio to the QPR-Wolves game…

Whatever gets you through the afternoon chaps!

                          

What you’re looking at here is the league table for the Isles of Scilly League – the smallest registered football league (it’s affiliated with the FA) on the entire planet…

No draws! We hope, for the Woolpack Wanderers’ sake, that relegation isn’t going to be an issue come the end of the season.

Want to know a bit more about Garisson Gunners and/or Woolpack Wanderers? You can visit the league’s official website here. You’ll be astounded to learn that the two sides even compete in two, count ‘em, two separate cup competitions against each other!