By Chris Wright

Hirsute Colombian jester Rene Higuita has been up to his old trick again, re-enacting his infamous ‘scorpion kick’ save against England all those years ago for an Arabic television channel…

We’ll forgive him as he’s 45-years old these days, but that wasn’t a patch on the original – busted out to foil Jamie Redknapp on his top, top triffic international debut back in 1995…

They called him ‘El Loco’. I can’t think why. That said, maybe it was something to do with him being bat-shit crazy…

                          

By Chris Wright

Gabon striker Pierre Eymerick Aubameyang has been catching the eye at the Africa Cup of Nations, not only for his stellar performances but also for his incredibly uninhibited choice in follicular arrangement, opting for a ginger Mohawk formation that is pitched firmly halfway between looking ‘out-bloody-rageous’ and ‘like the matted hair that tends to accumulate in and around the wrong end of a dog’.

He’s even gone and shaved a rusty-coloured sheriff’s badge-style design into the left flank…

…while favouring a sweet ass zig-zag on the right…

Hmmm.

Super smug Neymar says:

“Ain’t nothing till you can feel it between your shoulder blades brah!”

                          

By Chris Wright

Two parts ‘Horror Hair’ to one part ‘actually pretty impressive’; it’s BAE’s latest crop of ‘between styles’ free range Afro fuzz, which is the size of a Capybara and looks like a distinct fire hazard…

No naked flames within a three-metre radius please people.

                          

By Chris Wright

With his slinky goal against West Brom last night, Jermain Defoe overtook Glenn Hoddle’s scoring tally for Tottenham – but even that didn’t gloss over the fact that, at some point before the game, he chose to do this to his head…

Yeesh. Sisqo would be rolling in his grave had he been torn to pieces by the dragon he was so keen on unleashing all the bloody time.

Incidentally, the Metro chose to run with a ‘Defoe Dyes For The Cause’ headline to mark the occasion, which would have been a truly awesome pun were it not for the fact that some poor old chap died of a cardiac arrest while watching the match at White Hart Lane.

Silly Metro.

                          

By Chris Wright

So, Guti (along with his lovely lady WAG Romina Belluschio) attended the premiere of the latest Mission Impossible film in Madrid last night with an alarming smattering of facial growth affixed to his chinny chin chin…

Ahem. I’ll just leave this here…

                          

By Chris Wright

That’s your lot cockers. As I understand it, Movember is now officially finito which means it’s high time to round up the footballing contingent’s hirsute runners and riders. Here we have the five players whose hearts were definitely in the right place, but whose top lips didn’t really get the memo…

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5. Peter Crouch, Stoke - Pros: Largely out of sight due to wearer's height / Cons: Makes a strange-looking man look even stranger

This way for the top five best Movember efforts.

                          

By Chris Wright

That’s your lot cocker. As I understand it, Movember is now officially finito which means it’s high time to round up the footballing contingent’s hirsute runners and riders. We’ll start with five players who managed to sprout charity facial fuzz that was actually bordering on ‘acceptable’ over the course of the month…

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5. Danny Higginbotham, Stoke - Pros: Thick and lustrous / Cons: Jamie Mackie is clearly repulsed by it

This way for the top five worst Movember efforts.

                          

Ronaldo has just posted this photo of his new facial hair on Twitter and, well…

Sorry Ron, but that’s the kind of ‘tache that could land a fella on some sort of register.

For the uninitiated, Kahlo is/was a Mexican artiste and feminist icon who also happened to do a rather fine line in monobrows and niche female facial hair.

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email it to waatpies@gmail.com and stick ‘Lookalikes’ in the subject field or Tweet it over to us as @waatpies if you’re that way inclined.

                          

By Chris Wright

Ahead of their FA Cup first-round tie against Leyton Orient on Saturday, Bromley FC’s Danny Waldren has had a QR code (one of those barcode-y smartphone-y whatyamacallits that I don’t really understand) shaved into the back of his head for the occasion…

The only thing that isn’t quite clear to me is ‘why’? Presumably, if you hold your bell-and-whistles phone up to the back of his head it automatically sends you vouchers for a proper short-back-and-sides?

Video: Betfair

                          

By Chris Wright

“Jurr Curl’s scurred a gurl”

Those good people over at hirsute charity Movember have started a petition to get four 80s sporting heroes and one-time top-lip topiary aficionados – namely Nigel Mansell, Barry McGuigan, Ian Botham and Mark Lawrenson – to re-grow their resplendent Mo’s for charity next month.

Movember are aiming to get 50,000 digital signatures from sport/Mo fans across UK showing their support for their ‘Re-grow the Mo’ campaign before finally presenting the four legends (including Lawro) with the petition in a bid to get them re-growing throughout November/Movember.

Want to see Lawro’s almighty facial furniture restored to it’s former glory in the name of charidee? Of course you bloody well do.

Sign the ‘Re-grow the Mo’ petition here.

I promise, it’ll take up but a second of your time.