By Chris Wright

I’m willing to bet your gut reaction to the news that Sergio Busquets got well and truly knobbled in a challenge with Real Sociedad’s Carlos Martinez during the home side’s 2-1 win at the Nou Camp last night was somewhere along the lines of ‘what goes around, comes around’ – but that doesn’t make the deep laceration that the Barca midfielder suffered any less grotesque…

(Not for the squeamish, etc, etc)

Mmmm. Looks like the Sarlacc pit. Here, have a closer look…

Thankfully (if it’s possible to feel empathy toward Mr Biscuits) the injury isn’t half as nasty as it looks and, with a few stitches involved, Busquets is expected to be fit again by Wednesday evening’s game with Valencia.

                          

By Chris Wright

Watch, mere mortals, and weep as the slightly more ‘agricultural’ 50% of Barcelona’s central defence pulls off not one, but two 360° roulette tricks in a row as he maraudes his way through Valencia’s midfield during last night’s Copa del Rey semi-final first leg…

Señor Puyol wasn’t finished there though – oh no, not by a long chalk. The Barca captain also scored during his side’s 1-1 draw at the Mestalla; swinging in on a vine like Captain Tarzan to head home a 35th-minute equaliser after Jonas had given Valencia the lead ten minutes earlier.

Highlights (including a Lionel Messi penalty miss of all things)…

                          

By Chris Wright

In which Carlos Vela, formerly of the Arsenal reserves and now on loan at Real Sociedad, is shunted over on the touchline by Sporting Gijon’s Alejandro Galvez during the former club’s 5-1 routing of the latter on Sunday evening – which, all-in-all, wouldn’t have been too much of an issue had the linesman not been ‘keeping up with the play’ quite so admirably…

Wipeout! Love that it’s the linesman that has to haul Vela back to his feet afterwards, despite the fact that it’s the official who now has to suffer the ignominy of having backwards Ostrich knees for the rest of his natural life.

Video: 101GG

                          

There were amazing scenes in Spain last night, where third tier part-timers CD Mirandés beat La Liga side Espanyol 2-1 in injury time at the tiny, 6,000-capacity Anduva Stadium to secure themselves a 4-4 aggregate (away goals) win and a berth in the semi-finals of the Copa del Rey in the process…

Giant Killers!

Mirandés, who are captained by Pablo Infante – a bank clerk by day and top-scorer (with seven goals) in this year’s Copa del Rey by night – have now beaten three top flight opponents on the spin and will face either Athletic Bilbao or Real Mallorca in the last four.

Hala Mirandés!!!

                          

By Alan Duffy

Forget the roasting and the racism, the diving and the drinking, sometimes footballers can actually be rather nice. And there seems to be no nicer chap in the world of football right now than Barcelona’s Eric Abidal.

The 32-year-old French defender, who recovered from liver cancer himself, recently visited a local hospital in Barcelona and was particularly moved by one patient, 15-year-old Juan Garcia. The teenager, who is battling cancer, broke down in tears when Abidal came to visit, prompting the French international to present him with his Rolex watch as a gift.

The boys’s father, J Garcia Serra, recounted the incident to local newspaper, The Herald, saying:

“It was impossible to get Eric to take the watch back. He told me: ‘It doesn’t matter what this is worth. I want your son to be happy.”

“He embraced all of us and continued his visit to other sick children. I looked at my son, and I will never forget the look of happiness in his face. I’d forgotten what he looked like when he was happy. At night he kept switching on the light to look at the watch’s inscription.

“The visit of the players improved the spirit of the children more than any medicine. For my family the great idol will always be Eric Abidal; he is more than a player for us.”

Apparently the watch was worth £20,000 and may have been a limited edition timepiece given to each member of the Barcelona squad at the end of last season.

Whatever the origin of the watch, Abidal’s gesture highlights the fact that not all footballers are overpaid, arrogant and selfish. Only some of them.

                          

By Alan Duffy

A bit of good-natured tomfoolery or an assault with a (not-so) deadly weapon? Well, the local Spanish Old Bill took the latter view after seeing a Valencia fan cheekily bounce the ball off the head of Levante goalkeeper Gustavo Munua.

Munua was retrieving the ball, which had ended up in the stands during his side’s Copa Del Rey clash with Valencia, when the fan who had caught the ball decided to bounce it off the ‘keeper’s head.

Apparently after the incident, the local police escorted the fan out of the ground. Which does seem a bit harsh. Levante lost the game 4-1, by the way.

Image via Dirty Tackle

                          

By Chris Wright

Athletic Bilbao tonked third-tier side Albacete (bit of trivia: Andres Iniesta is the club’s majority shareholder) 4-0 in the Copa del Rey at the San Mames last night, with the third goal of the night being scored by forward Gaizka Toquero – a man who, to quote Wikipedia, is ‘blessed with few technical skills but is a tremendous hard-worker’.

In short, he’s a bit of a shiteheap but he’ll happily chase shadows like a blue-arsed fly for 90 minutes. He’s the Basque Cameron Jerome.

That said, on this evidence his technical skills look perfectly fine to us…

Ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Video: 101GG

                          

By Chris Wright

It’s fair to say that Real Sociedad ‘keeper Enaut Zubikarai had what’s known in technical terms as a ‘stinker’ last night. With his side 2-0 up from the first leg of their Copa del Rey tie with Real Mallorca and going one-nil up in the second leg after 16 minutes, Zubikarai then conceded four goal in the space of seven minutes before half-time. Yep, four in seven.

To make matters worse, the fourth of which was a ridiculously embarrassing affair, with cunning Mallorca striker Castro catching Zubikarai cold, laying low then sniping him from behind á la Dion Dublin (context)…

Mallorca then scored two more early in the second-half, leaving Zubikarai having conceded six unanswered goals in just under an hour of play. Not a night to remember. For those who are struggling to keep up, Mallorca won 6-3 on aggregate.

Highlights…

Video: ESPN

                          

By Chris Wright

Just when Chelsea needed it most, Didier Drogba turned up and put in one of his best performances in a good couple of years to inspire his side to a 3-0 victory over Valencia at the Bridge last night, scoring two goals and filing an assist (for Ramires) to see the Blues comfortably and safely into the knockout phases of the Champions League in the process.

Drogba took up his stethoscope and walked, which makes you wonder why he hasn’t done it a bit more regularly of late. New contracts don’t earn themselves though I suppose. He played like it was 2006 all over again, and long may it continue. You just can’t beat watching an on-song Didier Drogba terrorise the living daylights out of an entire four-man defence single-handedly.

We must also mention Juan Mata, who set up both of the Drog’s goals and has now assisted the Ivorian’s last three in all competitions. The man’s an architect.

Anyway, in summary, Chelsea are through to the last 16 and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it!

Photos…

Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

By Chris Wright

Say what you like about Cristiano Ronaldo but the guy actually takes the fact that he tends to end every game with bloodied, knackered ankles rather well all things considered.

Saturday’s Madrid derby, which Real won 4-1, was one of those occasions as Atletico ended the evening with two red cards and five yellows against their name while Ronaldo and several of his teammates endured what’s known in technical terminology as ‘a battering’.

As luck should have it, Ron had the chance to quiz Atletico’s president Enrique Cerezo about his side’s conduct when an entirely coincidental seating plan saw the pair join one another for lunch at the AS Awards yesterday.

Cristiano opened the conversation, but only after cleaving Cerezo’s soul in twain with an ice-cold, daggers-from-the-eyes Paddington stare…

Ronaldo and Cerezo. There’s an episode of ‘Come Dine With Me’ I’d happily sit through.

Video: 101GG