The final group kicks off today… Zlatan Ibrahimovic v Rio Ferdinand (Group G) Extremely cocky attacker v extremely metrosexual defender. Who you got? Vote below:

That didn’t take long, did it? Available from Objectivo.com Top 10 footballers who revealed T-shirts with messages

Place your bets… All bets are off on Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo, but there are still many star names whose futures remain unclear. Join Pies for a game of Transfer Roulette:

Peering thorough my special hindsight goggles, it’s easy to form this opinion. Based on his play since leaving Old Trafford in 2007, the 22-year-old Italian-American falls into the class of United departures marked, “Ones that got away.” Of course, in Fergie’s defence, there are a couple of caveats:

C-Ron haters, and Sky Sports, are resorting to this classic line. But is it true? In the Alex Ferguson era, there seems to be two distinct categories of United players who have been shown the exit door: 1) Young players who were tipped for great things but never quite made the grade (Lee Sharpe, Luke [...]

Good work, person on the internet with too much time on their hands who did this. [@ RoM]

The tabloids gleefully report that C-Ron spent “one night in Paris” – it’s a good line and it’s true, sort of: the airheaded pair spent the evening together in a Hollywood club, as this source told The Sun: ‘A clubber who witnessed their frolicking said: “They were sucking each other’s faces off like their plane [...]

Well it’s not every week that a £56m transfer deal is forgotten about quite so quickly. Yesterday, Kaka was the name on every fan’s lips. Today, the Brazilian’s record move to Madrid is off the agenda, completely overshadowed by the mega news that C-Ron is also off to the Bernabeu, for even more cash. I [...]

White really makes my tan pop… Holy crapola! According to the BBC, Manchester United have accepted an £80m bid from Real Madrid for Cristiano Ronaldo. And about time too. “United have agreed to give Real Madrid permission to talk to the player,” a statement from the English champions stated. The statement added that the decision [...]

I figure a lot of people will be searching the internet to find out more about Kaka, and also his impossibly cute wife, Caroline Celico. But there’s not a lot out there to satisfy seasoned WAG watchers. Caroline seems to hate the spotlight, which explains why she’s never stripped off for a lads’ mag (Her [...]

Kaka only joined Madrid because Becks told him how nice it was in Spain. Lovely tapas, pretty ladies etc. Or, Kaka only joined Madrid to help fund Silvio Berlusconi’s dubious lavish lifestyle. That’s big of him.

It’s official. Kaka has signed for Real Madrid. Everyone’s a bwinner baby. The Brazilian cost Real a cool £56m, the most expensive single transfer in football history. It beats the £47m Real paid for Zinedine Zidane in 2001. The transfer went through quickly, which seems to be the way clubs are doing business this summer. [...]

Ooh, that hits the spot Sylvinho’s contract with Barcelona ran out at the end of last month, and the club decided not to re-sign him – so the veteran full-back, 35, is now a free agent. Which means Barca need a new left-sided defender as back up for first-choice LB, Eric Abidal. Sport.es claims that [...]

With Kaka set to sign for Real Madrid in the next few days, where does that leave Madrid’s acknowledged No.1 target, Cristiano Ronaldo? On the face of it, you might think Madrid had chosen one marquee player over another. But with the amazing – and galling – success of rivals Barcelona this season, Real president [...]

Spanish media claims it’s a done deal I belong to Jesus and Madrid According to Marca and other sources in Spain, Kaka will be presented at the Bernabeu next week, having completed a €65m deal to Real Madrid. Although Kaka said he didn’t want to leave Milan, I never doubted that this deal would happen. [...]

Watch it and your bottom lip will wobble This is the real reason Barcelona won the CL final – a cheesy, yet rather inspiring highlights package of Barca’s stars in action, cut with footage from Ridley Scott’s Gladiator. (The final was in Rome, you see.) Barca boss Guardiola showed it to his players before the [...]

Cesc is lonely, crying out for Xabi Alonso “Attractive, slim Spanish guy seeks partner for weekend strolls in the park. Must be world-class, have GSOH.” Neither Abou Diaby, Alex Song nor Denilson are good enough - yet, at least - to partner Cesc Fabregas at the heart of Arsenal’s midfield. I’m sure that’s the view of Cesc [...]

MAN UTD REACTION “Barcelona are a brilliant team and in my opinion Andres Iniesta is the best player in the world, he’s incredible.” Wayne Rooney “In our best performances this season we have defended very well, but the defending was shoddy.” Alex Ferguson “You have to give credit to a very good Barcelona team. If [...]

See again where it all went wrong for United Relive the magic of Xavi & Iniesta, the petulance of C-Ron, the play-acting of Puyol, the dulcit tones of Tyldesley and Pleaty. It’s all there. Actually, on second viewing, the match was short on genuine highlights. Got to love Messi’s header though, especially in light of [...]

Who’s hot, who’s not HOT Xavi and Iniesta The best midfield partnership on the planet. And the greatest of these is Iniesta (last night anyway). Pep Guardiola Won the treble in his first season. If Carlsberg did a football team, it would be Barcelona. Carles Puyol Was written off, but played a blinder. Shame about [...]

Protectors of the beautiful game win third European title 1. Dream final? Yep, it made me sleepy, so in that respect it lived up to its billing. But after so much hype, this was a big fat anti-climax – as a spectacle, I mean. Even taking into account the depth of modern squads, both clubs [...]

Such a beautiful horizon… Well, we’re all tremendously excited about this, I can tell. I can’t remember this much hype before a football match since England last got knocked out of the World Cup. I suppose the hype is warranted. Not since Milan tonked Barca 4-0 in 1994 have we been treated to a Champions [...]

The egos have landed Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd) Scored a stunning goal in open play against Porto in United’s CL quarter final, then followed it up with a ridonkulous free-kick in United’s semi final, second leg at Arsenal (watch both goals here). Who knows what C-Ron has planned for the final, but I think it’s [...]

Getting down to the business end of the Champions League finalists Wayne Rooney (Man Utd) Who knew Rooney would turn out to be a world-class left winger? But that’s what he’s become, even if it’s not the first position he’d choose to play. Rooney’s successful conversion – even if it’s temporary – is testament to [...]

Hmm, I can guess which way this will go… Park Ji-Sung (Man Utd) Left out of the squad for last year’s final, but Fergie has promised him a role in Rome. He’ll probably start, and on the right (then why do I get the nagging feeling that Fergie will thrown a curveball and start instead [...]