Mourinho and Beckham are going home, baby

C-Ron SMASH!

Can you name this ball-headed Barca star?

Remember when Lineker lit up El Clasico?

Roman Abramovich set to break British transfer record for ‘Kun’

The Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaampions

The best pics from a very entertaining game in Spain

Prem League leaders limber up before Madrid clash

The best pics from last night’s game at Stamford Bridge

I still think Inter got a terrific deal in getting Samuel Eto’o plus a stack of cash for Zlatan, but have to admit Ibra looks great in Barca’s kit. A front line of Henry, Zlatan and Messi is scary as hell, and the sort of forward trio you’d only dream about playing in a videogame.

Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o and Inter’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic are set to trade places, presumably because there is no dressing room in the world that could contain their twin egos.

How do Galacticos break the ice? By comparing pay packets? If so, C-Ron wins. And do you think Raul is jealous of the new young crop of superstars at his club? Would love to be a fly on the wall at one Madrid’s pre-season training sessions.

So Nando Torres won’t get David Villa as a playmate. Barcelona midfielder Xavi Hernandez has spilled the beans about the future of the Valencia striker. Xavi told Sport: “Talking to him [after the Confederations Cup], I noticed that he was very excited at the prospect of coming to Barcelona. “It is now only a matter [...]

Lionel Messi’s juggling skills impress the hell out of Mickey Mouse – what, hasn’t Mickey ever been to SeaWorld? [Photo by Kent Phillips/Disney via ABACAUSA.COM] Messi was at the Florida resort yesterday to help promote the ‘Disney Cup Youth International Soccer Tournament’. Mickey was there because, er, that’s his job, to delight/scare small children.

One is a gentleman footballer. One is a lady footballer. Can you tell who is who though? Think you have a better Shit Lookalike than this? I highly recommend that you Email Pies with your suggestion. This isn’t Diego’s first appearance in SLALs: Shit Lookalikes: Diego Forlan & Fenella the witch from Chorlton and the [...]

Will Cashley join Real Madrid’s All-New Galacticos? In a word, no A certain red-topped tabloid newspaper claims that everyone’s favourite left-back has rejected Chelsea’s latest contract offer, reportedly because he wants the same sort of mega cash (£100,000+ a week) that his England team-mates, John Terry and Frank Lampard, are on. Since everyone seems to [...]

The final group kicks off today… Zlatan Ibrahimovic v Rio Ferdinand (Group G) Extremely cocky attacker v extremely metrosexual defender. Who you got? Vote below:

That didn’t take long, did it? Available from Objectivo.com Top 10 footballers who revealed T-shirts with messages

Place your bets… All bets are off on Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo, but there are still many star names whose futures remain unclear. Join Pies for a game of Transfer Roulette:

Peering thorough my special hindsight goggles, it’s easy to form this opinion. Based on his play since leaving Old Trafford in 2007, the 22-year-old Italian-American falls into the class of United departures marked, “Ones that got away.” Of course, in Fergie’s defence, there are a couple of caveats:

C-Ron haters, and Sky Sports, are resorting to this classic line. But is it true? In the Alex Ferguson era, there seems to be two distinct categories of United players who have been shown the exit door: 1) Young players who were tipped for great things but never quite made the grade (Lee Sharpe, Luke [...]

Good work, person on the internet with too much time on their hands who did this. [@ RoM]

The tabloids gleefully report that C-Ron spent “one night in Paris” – it’s a good line and it’s true, sort of: the airheaded pair spent the evening together in a Hollywood club, as this source told The Sun: ‘A clubber who witnessed their frolicking said: “They were sucking each other’s faces off like their plane [...]

Well it’s not every week that a £56m transfer deal is forgotten about quite so quickly. Yesterday, Kaka was the name on every fan’s lips. Today, the Brazilian’s record move to Madrid is off the agenda, completely overshadowed by the mega news that C-Ron is also off to the Bernabeu, for even more cash. I [...]