Ooh, that hits the spot Sylvinho’s contract with Barcelona ran out at the end of last month, and the club decided not to re-sign him – so the veteran full-back, 35, is now a free agent. Which means Barca need a new left-sided defender as back up for first-choice LB, Eric Abidal. Sport.es claims that [...]

With Kaka set to sign for Real Madrid in the next few days, where does that leave Madrid’s acknowledged No.1 target, Cristiano Ronaldo? On the face of it, you might think Madrid had chosen one marquee player over another. But with the amazing – and galling – success of rivals Barcelona this season, Real president [...]

Spanish media claims it’s a done deal I belong to Jesus and Madrid According to Marca and other sources in Spain, Kaka will be presented at the Bernabeu next week, having completed a €65m deal to Real Madrid. Although Kaka said he didn’t want to leave Milan, I never doubted that this deal would happen. [...]

Watch it and your bottom lip will wobble This is the real reason Barcelona won the CL final – a cheesy, yet rather inspiring highlights package of Barca’s stars in action, cut with footage from Ridley Scott’s Gladiator. (The final was in Rome, you see.) Barca boss Guardiola showed it to his players before the [...]

Cesc is lonely, crying out for Xabi Alonso “Attractive, slim Spanish guy seeks partner for weekend strolls in the park. Must be world-class, have GSOH.” Neither Abou Diaby, Alex Song nor Denilson are good enough - yet, at least - to partner Cesc Fabregas at the heart of Arsenal’s midfield. I’m sure that’s the view of Cesc [...]

MAN UTD REACTION “Barcelona are a brilliant team and in my opinion Andres Iniesta is the best player in the world, he’s incredible.” Wayne Rooney “In our best performances this season we have defended very well, but the defending was shoddy.” Alex Ferguson “You have to give credit to a very good Barcelona team. If [...]

See again where it all went wrong for United Relive the magic of Xavi & Iniesta, the petulance of C-Ron, the play-acting of Puyol, the dulcit tones of Tyldesley and Pleaty. It’s all there. Actually, on second viewing, the match was short on genuine highlights. Got to love Messi’s header though, especially in light of [...]

Who’s hot, who’s not HOT Xavi and Iniesta The best midfield partnership on the planet. And the greatest of these is Iniesta (last night anyway). Pep Guardiola Won the treble in his first season. If Carlsberg did a football team, it would be Barcelona. Carles Puyol Was written off, but played a blinder. Shame about [...]

Protectors of the beautiful game win third European title 1. Dream final? Yep, it made me sleepy, so in that respect it lived up to its billing. But after so much hype, this was a big fat anti-climax – as a spectacle, I mean. Even taking into account the depth of modern squads, both clubs [...]

Such a beautiful horizon… Well, we’re all tremendously excited about this, I can tell. I can’t remember this much hype before a football match since England last got knocked out of the World Cup. I suppose the hype is warranted. Not since Milan tonked Barca 4-0 in 1994 have we been treated to a Champions [...]

The egos have landed Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd) Scored a stunning goal in open play against Porto in United’s CL quarter final, then followed it up with a ridonkulous free-kick in United’s semi final, second leg at Arsenal (watch both goals here). Who knows what C-Ron has planned for the final, but I think it’s [...]

Getting down to the business end of the Champions League finalists Wayne Rooney (Man Utd) Who knew Rooney would turn out to be a world-class left winger? But that’s what he’s become, even if it’s not the first position he’d choose to play. Rooney’s successful conversion – even if it’s temporary – is testament to [...]

Hmm, I can guess which way this will go… Park Ji-Sung (Man Utd) Left out of the squad for last year’s final, but Fergie has promised him a role in Rome. He’ll probably start, and on the right (then why do I get the nagging feeling that Fergie will thrown a curveball and start instead [...]

Giggsy has his work cut out here Ryan Giggs (Man Utd) Giggsy is very well respected in Europe, I’d say more so than any British player of the last 15 years. He’s now coming to the end of his illustrious career, but he’s still worth his place in United’s starting line-up (just). I doubt he’ll [...]

Cheeky boy Remember Lee Sharpe? Before Ryan Giggs burst on the scene, Sharpe was United’s poster boy. He was a fine player, but his main problem was a) he liked to party, and b) he just wasn’t as good as Giggs. In the end, he’ll be remembered as just another Englishman who didn’t fulfil his [...]

Vote on this crucial midfield battle Anderson (Man Utd) It would be unfair to call Anderson a headless chicken – he is a more intelligent player than that - but he does have a tendency to run around like a man who left his brain in the changing room. That could be a good or bad [...]

Time for United’s quiet man to step up Michael Carrick (Man Utd) Carrick is the football equivalent of a Saab – he’s classy and efficient but a bit dull. That’s not a criticism. I’m a huge fan of Carrick, and still think he doesn’t get as much credit as he deserves. He makes United tick, [...]

What the teams will be wearing in Rome Manchester United With Barcelona awarded official home team status in the CL final, Man Utd have chosen to wear an all-white kit (C-Ron can see if he likes playing in all white) with blue trim. The last time the two sides met in a European final, in [...]

Ex-Arsenal full-back to deputise for suspended Abidal? Patrice Evra (Man Utd) Evra is the best left-back in the Premier League, and one of the best in the world. Most importantly, he has recovery pace to burn, so when he does make mistakes he almost always gets away with them. Comfortable on the ball, and never [...]

He comes from Serbia, he’ll fookin’ murder ya Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd) United’s Player of the Year, as voted for by his team-mates and the club’s fans, makes the perfect foil for Rio Ferdinand. The Serb is a footballing Terminator who absolutely will not stop when it comes to doing his defensive duties. If Barcelona [...]

Will Rio merk his former team-mate? Rio Ferdinand (Man Utd) Ferdinand is one of the best centre-backs in the world, and he’s now at his peak. There’s nothing he lacks really, but he tends to lose concentration at times – though not often enough for me to label it as an obvious weakness. The one [...]

Battle of the right-backs John O’Shea (Man Utd) The much maligned Irishman will never win a place in United’s Hall of Fame, but Alex Ferguson trusts him, and that vote of confidence means a lot to a player. I’m sure it’s no accident that Fergie endorsed O’Shea’s place in the starting line-up before that of [...]

Throughout the day, Pies will look closely at the respective teams of United and Barca. We begin at the beginning, with the No.1s Edwin van der Sar (Man Utd) The Dutch veteran has enjoyed a vintage season, breaking Petr Cech’s Prem record for minutes played without conceding a goal. He’ll be 40 next year though, [...]

The build-up to Man Utd v Barcelona starts with shit lookalikes Andres Iniesta and Count Duckula This is really shit, I admit, but there’s something in the mouth that make it work. Maybe.

Madrid already in talks to make Wenger their new boss According to Guillem Balague’s website, Real Madrid have “set wheels in motion” to sign Arsene Wenger as their new manager. Balague writes: “An alternative source claims that Wenger has spoken personally with Florentino Perez last week, possibly by telephone: with further conversations set to take [...]