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Who ate all the pies

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Liverpool: All the latest Liverpool flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

And lo, Rafa dipped his trotter into the bargain basement and came up with this big, ugly defender that no one has heard of. Kyrgiakos, who is reputed to be a bit of a hardman – you wouldn’t know it from looking at him, would you? – passed a medical (contrary to appearances, tests confirmed he […]

Are Kopites gobshites? No comment, your honour. Available from, priced $24. MORE TEES Burnley 1-0 Man Utd. You watched the game, now buy the T-shirt Giuseppe Rossi Judas T-shirt Top 10 footballers who revealed T-shirts with messages

“Weeeeeeeeeee!” This is where you get to step into Rafa’s shiny slip-ons and pick Liverpool’s best starting line-up for this season. First up though, I’ll reveal my selection (based on the Pool’s squad at time of writing). I meant to post this before the season started (duh), but horrible server gremlins meant I’ve had to […]

When Carra was all bandaged up for last night’s game against Stoke (photo gallery up next, btw), the first face that flashed into my head was that of Derek Zoolander. For serious. MORE Shit Lookalikes: Rafa Benitez and Derek Zoolander Zoolander GIF Classic: Arsene Wenger dances in the back of a jeep driven by Cesc […]

I love this season already

August 20th, 2009

I don’t know if it’s because the recession has levelled the playing field – by weakening the big four – but already this season feels very different. By different, I mean unpredictable. And about time too. For years we have waited for a genuinely unpredictable Premier League, sitting through countless dreary games where the result […]

Twitter is almost on fire, the result of a scorchingly hot rumour that Rafa Benitez has walked out on Liverpool. There is no concrete reason to believe this internet chatter, but I will say that it wouldn’t surprise me if it happened, especially in light of the news that the club told Rafa he had […]

I don’t know how much crack Steven Bernasconi has been inhaling, but it’s clearly the good stuff. This is the sort of Shit Lookalike Pies wants – madder than Stephen Ireland. Can you do better than Steven? Email Pies with your suggestion(s).

Fernando Torres’ job is to score goals. Simple, especially for a striker as talented as he is. Except Torres seems to have taken his eye off the ball (or, as Jamie Redknapp would say, “He’s literally taken his eye off the ball there, Richard”). Torres cut a distracted figure at White Hart Lane on Sunday, […]

Terrible moustache, Ian. Not-terrible defending, Alan Hot on the heels of the news that the Guardian “jinxed” Liverpool’s tilt at a 19th league title, Sky Sports pundit Jeff Stelling has added to the weight of the hex: “Manchester United are unquestionably weaker than last year, while Chelsea are no stronger and they are all a […]

A few hours ago, Alberto Aquilani touched down at Heathrow. Pies was there, camera in hand, to snap the Italian. He giggled like a girl. Too many G&Ts on the flight perhaps?

Liverpool fans, superstitious? Yes, judging by the hundreds of comments left on the Guardian’s Liverpool FC pre-season profile, in which the newspaper’s football writers collectively predicted that Liverpool will win the league this season. A sample of the reaction to this (brave) prediction:

Alberto Aquilani, who is set to become Liverpool’s latest signing (subject to a medical), has played only 73 games in three seasons for current club Roma. His last appearance was on March 11, against Arsenal in the Champions League. Hmmm. Alarm bells going off… For all Aquilani’s talent – he’s razor-sharp on the ball and […]

An anxious-looking Xabi Alonso gives the thumbs-up, reluctantly, during the traditional “medical ritual” that Real Madrid puts its new players through. It’s like a sort of hazing. Perhaps Xabi was worried that the doctor would discover his ginger pubes? [@ Off the Post] MORE XABI How much is Rafa Benitez to blame for the departure […]

Yes, lots of Xabi posts today, but like so many fans, Pies always had a bit of a man crush on him… The reasons to miss Xabi keep on coming… In this vid he comes across as, well, just a top bloke. And he’s not so immodest that he won’t admit that he’s one of […]

The beginning of the end for Xabi Alonso at Liverpool occurred a couple of seasons ago, when Xabi Alonso decided – quite rightly, in my view – to miss a Champions League match to attend the birth of his first child. That was the moment when relations between Rafa Benitez and Xabi soured, and the […]

Liverpool fans, I feel your pain. To mark the sad passing of Senor Xabi (more on which later today), Pies offers up a gallery of some of his finest moments in a Liverpool shirt. Click the image below to see the photos (right-click to enlarge - you know, in case any of you wants a commemorative […]

Worst-case scenario: Liverpool lose both Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano this summer. Best-case scenario: Alonso and Maschy stay, obviously. But, Liverpool fans, if you could lose just one of the pair (and I know that it’s more likely to be Alonso), who would you let go? Let’s look at the evidence: Mascherano, 25, is a […]

Alvaro Arbeloa has moved to Real Madrid for around £3.5m. Few Liverpool supporters will mourn his departure - he was not the type of player who excited fans – but you have to say, Real have got an absolute bargain there: Arbeloa is a Spain international and at 26 he still has several good years in […]

A Real Madrid fan holds up a Xabi Alonso Liverpool shirt during a recent friendly between Real and Al Ittihad at the Bernabeu Xabi Alonso is one of those players who even most non-Liverpool fans have a sneaking (or open) fondness for. I’ve heard several fans say they think Xabi is overrated but I’ve never […]

Everton Two, Liverpool One

July 17th, 2009

Everton’s new store is located in Liverpool’s biggest shopping mall, aka Liverpool One. Whoever decided to call the store Everton Two has my undying respect. Everton’s megastore, located at Goodison Park, is now called Everton One. Brilliant.

La Gazzetta dello Sport claims that a delegation from Liverpool has arrived in Rome this morning to offer around €16m for the services of Alberto Aquilani. The highly rated Italian playmaker is a potential replacement for Xabi Alonso, who seems intent on a switch to Real Madrid.

Liverpool drew a blank in the opening match of their pre-season tour of Switzerland and Austria. The result won’t bother Rafa Benitez, who fiddled extensively with his line-up - he made 11 substitutions at half-time! – and also had to make do without his Spanish contingent (still on holiday after the exertions of the Confederations Cup). […]