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Who ate all the pies

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Liverpool

Liverpool: All the latest Liverpool flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

After a wee break, the Best Player in the World World Cup is back. We kick off again with the opening ties in Group F. First up, an all-Prem, all-midfield tie: Chelsea’s Frank Lampard takes on Liverpool’s Javier Mascherano. A tough one for Lampsy, this…

Somebody stop this man leaving Anfield Most Liverpool fans know that Mascherano is essential to their team. The Argentine’s unselfish play is not only vital in protecting Liverpool’s back four, it also liberates his fellow midfielders – especially Steven Gerrard and Xabi Alonso. No wonder Rafa has warned other clubs off his brilliant water carrier. […]

FSC has this leaked photo of Liverpool’s third kit for next season. We like, a lot. It’s simple, and while simple doesn’t always work (I still think England’s new Umbro kit is too plain), this does the job nicely. Interesting to see the sponsor’s name in green, too. Very Christmassy. Good job, Adidas. Liverpool’s new […]

Place your bets… All bets are off on Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo, but there are still many star names whose futures remain unclear. Join Pies for a game of Transfer Roulette:

A man with no idea how to use Photoshop (me) offers his impression of how Johnson would look in a Liverpool shirt By all accounts, Portsmouth have accepted an £18m bid from Liverpool for Glen Johnson. Hmm, funny that Rafa Benitez is suddenly willing to spend so much on Johnson when he enquired about the […]

“Have you seen my arse? It’s like an Alsatian’s.” Stevie G has been at the truth serum again. (Yes, I did Photoshop this. Sorry.)

Much consternation in Manchester with the YouTube release of a video shot at the Spirit of Shankly’s end-of-season party, showing people chanting “Munich!” during a singer’s live performance. Spirit of Shankly (formerly Sons of Shankly) is the self-appointed official supporters’ union of Liverpool FC. Self-righteous, much? As I wrote in my column for BigSoccer.com, it’s […]

Merseyside Police were called to the Hillsborough memorial garden in Port Sunlight, Liverpool, early this morning to investigate reports of vandalism. They arrived to find paving slabs lifted up and stone balustrades knocked down and smashed. I doubt the “youths” (it’s always youths, isn’t it) who committed this unbelivably crass act will ever be caught, […]

Ooh, that hits the spot Sylvinho’s contract with Barcelona ran out at the end of last month, and the club decided not to re-sign him – so the veteran full-back, 35, is now a free agent. Which means Barca need a new left-sided defender as back up for first-choice LB, Eric Abidal. Sport.es claims that […]

Liverpool fan sizes up his captain This is what all “real” football fans look like, of course. In other words, they look like shit: overweight, bald and with a hint of special needs around the eyes. I guess Adidas were going for the “ordinary bloke in the Kop” look but went a bit too far. […]

The famous Scouse sense of humour Well worth watching for a couple of terrific air-shots, plus the best chant of the season, aimed at Alan Shearer (who takes it in good spirit): “You should have stayed on the telly!”

Great Teacher Onizuka is a famous manga character. He’s great and he’s a teacher. And his name is Eikichi Onizuka. What can I tell you? And he makes a very shit lookalike for Senor Nando Torres. Got any shit lookalikes you’ve seen lately? The shitter, the better. Email Pies with your suggestion. More lookalikes

Cesc is lonely, crying out for Xabi Alonso “Attractive, slim Spanish guy seeks partner for weekend strolls in the park. Must be world-class, have GSOH.” Neither Abou Diaby, Alex Song nor Denilson are good enough - yet, at least - to partner Cesc Fabregas at the heart of Arsenal’s midfield. I’m sure that’s the view of Cesc […]

Ah, gotta love the rivalry between Man Yoo and the Bin-dippers, especially when it comes up with priceless comedy like this… United fans who want to ease the pain of Wednesday’s CL defeat may like to know that they can buy a t-shirt with this design, @ TShirtsUnited

Close, Nando, but no cigar. No silverware either Mystic Torres looks into the future and sees Liverpool winning the Premier League. Not yet, amigo.

Liverpool fan sells unique commemorative shirt I’ll let the seller pitch you this opportunity to own a piece of history… “THIS IS LIVERPOOL FC UNIQUE EMBROIDED AWAY SHIRT SHIRT,THIS BEAUTIFUL SHIRT HAS BEEN EMBROIDED PROFESSIONALLY AS YOU CAN SEE IN THE PICTURES ,IT HAS THE MATCH DETAILS AND RESULT FROM THE MANCHESTER MASSACARE ,THE DAY […]

Phone-in host at centre of new Hillsborough controversy This grinning buffoon is Steven Cohen, the host of World Soccer Daily (WSD). WSD is the most popular football phone-in radio show in the States. God knows why it’s popular - it features way too many adverts and lots of inane buddy chat, mostly with his hugley annoying […]

Pride before a fall and all that Liverpool fans: Come back when you’ve won 18! United fans: Hi, remember that banner you held up in 1994? Yeah, about that… Now who’ll be the first to 19? Hmm, I know who my money’s on (United, if that wasn’t already clear). [@ Football Banter]

A heavyweight clash of the England captains Steven Gerrard v John Terry (Group C) A very tough opener for England’s skipper, against a former England skipper who has just won the Football Writers’ Player of the Year award. Sorry, JT, but Stevie G will win surely win this one… won’t he? Vote below…

What’s going on here? You tell us… As good a keeper as he is, Pepe Reina is clearly in the wrong profession. We’ve already seen that he’s a terrific public speaker. Here, he shows us his acting skills, albeit only in a viral for adidas’ 12th man campaign.

The high-rollers meet in Monte Carlo for draw

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1. Liverpool are going to struggle. In their current form and up against PSV Eindhoven, Marseille and Atletico Madrid, it could spell trouble.

Perm + big nose = twins

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Musings on last night’s European action

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1. Liverpool have got problems. There is no fluidity or shape to the side and Rafa Benitez doesn’t seem to know how to turn the situation around.

Reds sign another speedy Spaniard

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Liverpool have joined a host of other top football teams (plus Tottenham) in the football-meets-motorsport extravaganza that is Superleague Formula. Roma, AC Milan and Porto are among the clubs to sign up for the competition, which starts at Donington Park this weekend.