Peter Crouch is the latest footballer to bring out a book. Crouchinho has brought out Walking Tall (oh, I see what he did there!) just in time to cash-in on the Christmas market. Perhaps including a huge sock as a complimentary Christmas stocking would improve sales. Anyway with most of these books you have to wait until the inside pages for the unintentional comedy gold. Not so with Walking Tall. How much slap is he wearing in the cover photo? He looks like Alan Hansen’s make-up artist has been let loose on him!
“We always said that Crouch was all legs!”
Peter Crouch is back in the headlines, so it’s the perfect time to post this comically bad ‘remix’ of Dre and Eminem’s ‘Forgot About Dre’. Whoever edited this mix, don’t give up the day job â€“ unless your day job happens to be editing music videos together with sports clips, in which case DO give […]
Since when did Rafa’s Liverpool score this many goals? Since last night, when they ripped an impotent Besiktas to shreds, thanks to a Yossi Benayoun hat-trick and a couple from Liverpool’s forgotten man, Peter Crouch.
Liverpool v Besiktas, Tues 6 November (ko 7.45pm BST)
Prediction Liverpool 3-0 Besiktas
Tonight is the first of three crucial games that will decide if Liverpool, finalists in two of the last three seasons, will even make it out of the Champions League group stages this time around.
Nabil El Zhar (who hell he?) gave Liverpool the lead with a splendid net-burster from 25 yards out. Darren Purse equalised for Cardiff, but within less than a minute Liverpool retook the lead through Stevie G.
Liverpool’s favourite son answers Everton’s terrace jibes about his suposed love of the ‘high-life’ by getting all Scarface on the sidelines
The man revered as â€˜Godâ€™ returns to his spiritual home tonight as Robbie Fowler comes back to Anfield in a Cardiff shirt to play in tonightâ€™s Carling Cup match.
Stevie Gerrard and Cesc Fabregas staked their individual claims for the Premier Leagueâ€™s best midfielder yesterday with inspiring performances and a goal apiece that split the points. But, which one would you prefer in your team?
HEROES Rob Green Saved a last-gasp penalty (pictured) to snatch a point for West Ham at Pompey. Surely Green now has to be taken seriously for England’s No.1 shirt instead of Paul Robinson? Cesc Fabregas Showed off the full extent of his freakish maturity and talent with a wonderfully authoritative performance at Anfield. Stevie G […]
Fair play to The Sun sub-editor who came up with this headline. Give that man/woman a raise.
Liverpool’s nightmare run in the Champions League continued last night when they lost 2-1 to Besiktas in Turkey. That leaves the club with only one point from their first theree games and their hopes of reaching the knockout stages clinging by a thread.
Liverpool have yet to win a Champions League game this season so nothing less than a win will do tonight and, although they won the 2005 final in Istanbul, they’ve never beaten a Turkish team away.
Everyone, except maybe the most tongue-tied Spurs fan, has been waxing lyrical about Arsenal all season â€“ apparently Wengerâ€™s boys have taken the beautiful game and given it an even more stylish makeover.
What’s with the inflated carrier bags? I guess it’s a dig at Everton’s new stadium plans, which also include high street shops, a hotel and a giant Tesco supermarket. Anyway, I’m sure you can come up with a fine caption for this picâ€¦
Not a great couple of weeks for Stevie G. He’s underperformed for England (including that missed sitter in Russia), been slagged off in The Guardian, and was substituted by Rafa Benitez in the Merseyside derby on Saturday. Gerrard’s reaction to being taken off was as follows: ‘I was hurt and disappointed at being taken off […]
Aston Villa 1-0 West Ham
Craig Gardner won the match for Villa, but Dean Ashton is now a doubt for England after picking up a knee injury.
Crazy Sepp Blatter wants a quota on foreign players in European teams; each club would only be allowed to have five foreign players in its starting XI. Blatter sees this as the solution to encouraging home-grown talent, but, honestly, we’re too far down the line to go back to such a quota system, and anyway […]
Stop it Rafa, stop it now. You’re being a very silly boy. Do you have OCD when is comes to rotating your squad? Because you can’t stop yourself, can you? Benitez’s decision to leave out Euro specialist Javier Mascherano in favour of out-of-form Momo Sissoko and Seb Leto was very strange â€“ Mascherano is the […]
Birmingham 0-1 Manchester United
Crissy Ronaldo (Â© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.
As he’s being interviewed after a Liverpool FA Cup victory â€“ was it that crazy game against Luton a couple of seasons ago? â€“ Stevie G almost goes arse over tit. He holds it together though, much to the amusment of the interviewer and Ian Wright in the studio â€“ if you listen closely, you […]
Pies regular Jess Malone has submitted the latest in our series of Shit Lookalikes. Do you think Marky Mark Wahlberg could adapt to life in Liverpool’s midfield as easily as he made the transition from fresh-faced popster to haggard Oscar winner?
Arsenal 5-0 Derby
Emmanuel Adebayor scored a hat-trick and Cesc Fabregas stole the show as the Gunners hit top gear.