Sven is set to take the Manchester City job and is apparently hoping to make Sweden assistant manager Roland Andersson his number two (schoolboy snigger). Rumour has it the duo would be quite happy to walk 500 miles just to be the men to take over at Eastlands.

Our Mark Webber/David Nugent Shit Lookalike earlier today was just too damn good. It simply did not meet the low standards of poor quality lookalikes that Pies readers have come to expect. Here is another Who Ate All The Pies Shit Lookalke which is much more true to form: Alan Smith and Brooklyn Beckham. Smudger is set to join Newcastle in a £3.5 million deal, but nobody is currently interested in signing Brooklyn as far as we know.

This isn’t shit, is it? We think it’s actually quite good.

Kanapoutz is a French children’s character – we think. If you know different, please drop us a line.
Sven is the next manager of Man City, at least if former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra completes his takeover of the club.

Standing next to Franck Ribery instantly makes any man look like a demi-godlike cross between George Clooney, Brad Pitt and that beardy fellow from 300. And indeed, Luca Toni does look like the most handsome man in the world in this photo. He’s a good-looking fella anyway, but next to Ribery he looks obscenely dark and tall and handsome.

Thanks to Pies reader Andrew Stewart for suggesting our latest Shit lookalike. As you can see, Brazil coach Dunga is in fact the spiky-haired twin of Portuguese actor Joaquim de Almeida. We would, of course, have got round to this lookalike eventually what with Pies being huge Portuguese cinema buffs!

Uefa spokesman William Gaillard – the man who branded Liverpool’s fans the worst in Europe – has been called a ‘clown’ by Liverpool’s co-owner Tom Hicks. From these pictures, we see exactly what Hicks means.

Ahead of England’s Euro 2008 qualifier Pies against Estonia brings you another Shit Lookalike. Striker Andres Oper – an injury doubt for tonight’s game – is a bit of a ringer for racing driver Ralf Schumacher.

I couldn’t help but notice that BBC Three’s latest reality show Filthy Rich and Homeless features a guy called Ravi who is, in fact, the Asian Frank Lampard.

Right, it’s time to settle it once and for all. Who is David Beckham’s best Shit Lookalike with his new barnet?

Continuing on a Carlos Queiroz theme, I dug up this picture of him back in the day (the Eighties, I guess?) when he was rocking a magnificent moustache. I was thinking he reminded me of someone but I couldn’t put my finger on who. Then it came to me – Geraldo Rivera (just Geraldo to his friends), American talk-show legend and fellow moustache wearer.

What a pair of cheeky monkeys they make.

Guess who’s back, back again. Beckham’s back, tell a friend. Would the real Steve McClaren please stand up? Real Madrid’s favourite whipping boy-turned-hero David Beckham is back in the England fold and looking a little bit like Eminem.

Tonight’s Champions League final between AC Milan and Liverpool is being billed as a battle between the Supermen of either side – Kaka and Steven Gerrard. But when the Brazilian turned up to his side’s hotel in Athens he was looking more Clark Kent than Superman.

The photo of Musafar, the singing and dancing midget from Iran, doesn’t do justice to him, so watch this video for the full lookalike magic…

This sketch from the Fox network’s MadTV sketch show is about American football, but the actors look like they would have made a formidable midfield pairing at their peak!

A thousand thank-yous to Pies reader Scott, who emailed us this splendid shit lookalike – in case you don’t know, Robert Ri’chard (nice apostrophe placement Robert) is a 24-year-old American actor, who has appeared in lots of TV shows (CSI: Miami, Veronica Mars etc.) and the odd shit movie (House of Wax and Coach Carter to name just two). Patrice Evra has never appeared in any episodes of CSI, as far as we know.

Just before Sam Allardyce makes him a Newcastle player, mouthy Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton has been Blue Moon-lighting in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Having come up trumps with the Dirk Kuyt/Hercules axis of blondeness, regular Pies reader Cole continues on a lookalike tip with this sterling effort – Phil Neville (left) and Lurch (right), the butler from the Addams Family, could be father and son.

Yes, John O’Shea not only looks like a bouncer/bodyguard. He also look like a slimmer version of Peter Kay. Sweet baby Jesus of Nazareth.

Many thanks to regular Pies reader Cole for this tremendous spot. They could be brothers, albeit brothers where Hercules got all the looks and Dirk got the, er, ability to run around enthusiastically for 90 minutes without actually offering much of a goal threat.

Props to Pies reader Patrick for spotting that Roy Keane-plus-beard is a modern-day King Leonidas (leader of the frankly suicidal Spartans). I can imagine Roy’s half-time team talks in a totally different light now: ‘Mackems! Tonight we dine in hell!’

Whilst reading Rob’s splendid David James hair post, I was struck by the similarity between Jamo and James Harries, the freaky antiques dealer/child prodigy who had 15 minutes of fame after appearing on Wogan in 1988, and has since changed gender to become Lauren Harries.

Simple really – who’s the worst Lamps lookalike (Justin Eason on the left, in Chelsea shirt; Eric Yabsley on right, in England shirt)? Yes, we know they’re both really shit.