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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Lookalikes

Shit Lookalikes: Does exactly what it says on the tin. As far as we’re concerned, when it comes to footballing lookalikes; the shitter the better!

Tottenham’s new assistant manager could provide the missing link between the human race and parallel universe reigned by apes – or we could just be making a monkey out of him.
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Poor old ‘Arry’s face has been fighting a losing battle with gravity for as long as we can remember, not unlike his canine counterpart – watch out Louise, it’s only a matter of until until Jamie does the same
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Both are studious types in charge of a collection of young children…
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Both are ugly winning machines, unloved by the rest of the world. The English football team and the German rugby team are also very similar, ie. both are shit.

One is an indestructible English hero… the other is Captain Scarlet… Ahh, the old ones are the best. By the way, here are a few things I learned about Captain Scarlet on Wikipedia: ‘His real name is Paul Metcalfe. He has black hair and blue eyes, and speaks with an English accent and is said […]

I miss Jimmy Bullard, but not as much as Fulham have missed him. Football’s cheekiest chap is due to return from injury next month for Fulham. By the way, for our younger readers, Paul Nicholas is a former TV star/stage actor/pop star type, best-known for his roles in Just Good Friends, famous for being one […]

Thanks to Pies reader Rusty for this gem.

‘We’d like to thank Baz on our comment boards for spotting this one. Quite uncanny. Sonja, Alan’s eastern European girlfriend was a big fan of James Bond, sex and handbags, while alas we know sweet FA about what Martina Cech [Petr Cech's missus] is into. We’re also guessing Sonja’s a Norwich City supporter, but we […]

Thanks to Ben Chinn for this one. I can kind of see the resemblence… if I squint… and turn the lights off. No, seriously, it works for me – it is indeed a shit lookalike.

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If the Faroe Islands didn’t already have their work cut out for the match against France they do now. Les Bleus seem to have a Hindu goddess in their squad.

One’s an 80s popstar who couldn’t actually sing while the other is a footballer who’s also been fluffing his lines until recently. Via Man United Pies

Yet another nomination from Pies reader Chringle. There’s definitely an element of shitness to this one, but I see where he’s coming from. Personally, I think Mikel Arteta looks more like a Mediterranean Michael Vaughan.

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There is just something about the droopy cheeks and the crazy eyewear that tickled me when I saw the two photos near each other on the Beeb’s website. Arsenal fans, who would you rather have take control of the club?!!

Another belter from Chringle, who should really get his own Shit Lookalikes Corner. This has to be one of the best lookalikes we’ve ever published, no?

John Terry will play for Chelsea in their Champions League match against Valencia tomorrow, despite suffering a depressed cheekbone fracture, courtesy of Clint Dempsey’s elbow, on Saturday. The Sun imagine JT’s mask will look like this, putting me in mind of that great episode of Only Fools and Horses, when Del and Rodney dress up […]

Here at Pies, we pride ourselves on our Shit Lookalikes. Sadly we can’t take the credit for this one because it is down to the Coventry City squad. The players at the Ricoh Arena have apparently taken to calling new captain Arjan de Zeeuw ‘Kosta‘ because they reckon he looks like Australian boxer Kosta Tszyu.

I can’t tell you how chuffed I am to able to combine Hollowatch with a Shit Lookalike. In his latest online column for BBC Sport, Ian Holloway claims that Avram Grant looks like a famous character from Wind in the Willows (not Beatrix Potter, as the Beeb claims). Ian says: ‘If we’re talking lookalikes he’s […]

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As Alisher Usmanov draws ever closer to an Arsenal takeover, so does the sound of a distant Antipodean tuba. That’s right… pudgy face… bad specs… receding hairline… it’s Harold Bishop from Neighbours…

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Pies regular Jess Malone has submitted the latest in our series of Shit Lookalikes. Do you think Marky Mark Wahlberg could adapt to life in Liverpool’s midfield as easily as he made the transition from fresh-faced popster to haggard Oscar winner?

Crazy Chringle has sent me another inspired Shit Lookalike. I don’t know what the hell he’s smoking, but I’d like some too.

I see your Gabriel Agbonlahor and raise you one Wes Brown…

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Pies reader Dave Sparks reckons Aston Villa’s Gabriel Agbonlahor is a dead ringer for Tony Hart’s plastercine assistant, Morph.

Cheers to Chris Wright for this lookalike.

We are not comparing Wigan boss Chris Hutchings to one of history’s greatest monsters in any capacity other than this mildly amusing pose, although JJB Stadium regulars mights testify that the pair share a philosophy on torture!