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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Man City

Manchester City: All the latest Manchester City flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again here: Carlos Tevez is not world-class. He’s a very good footballer who is more than good enough to cut it at the highest level, but he is not world-class. He is not as good as Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi. He is not even as good […]

Place your bets… All bets are off on Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo, but there are still many star names whose futures remain unclear. Join Pies for a game of Transfer Roulette:

Carlito was delighted when his mum turned up at Man Utd’s training ground Fergie phoned Tevez this week to assure him that he had a future at Old Trafford. The Argentine’s response can be paraphrased as follows: “It’s a bit f**king late, gaffer!” Tevez is still hopping mad that he didn’t get to play more […]

A witty Villa fan’s attempt to deface a poster of the club’s ex-skipper. Fail And so Gareth Barry joins the sorry ranks of British football traitors, along with all the other Judas Iscariots who had the nerve to leave one football club to join a different football club. And he only gave them 11 years […]

Barry will never wear Villa’s lovely new away kit in anger Man City don’t do long, drawn-out transfer sagas. Leave that to Real Madrid et al. Their move to sign Gareth Barry was ruthlessly and swiftly executed. Few people saw it coming, and I guess there are more than a few irate Villa fans wondering […]

British football’s greatest Houdini acts 1. West Bromwich Albion (2005) With the odds stacked massively against the Baggies, on the final day of the season they did the only thing they could and beat Portsmouth 2-0. Elsewhere, Crystal Palace drew with Charlton, while Norwich and Southampton both lost. West Brom became the first club to […]

C-Ron doesn’t fear Fergie’s hairdryer, clearly Cristiano Ronaldo Moody Moment Against City – The best bloopers are here Quite unbelievable really. Can you imagine any other player doing this in front of Fergie? Normally it would mean career suicide, and a one-way ticket out of Old Trafford, but because Ronaldo is so valuable to United, […]

City’s Arab connections pay off again Man City’s new 2009/10 kit is worth a cool £45million. Next week the club will announce a £30m shirt sponsorship deal with Air Etihad, set to run for four seasons. Umbro will also take over from Le Coq Sportif as City’s shirt manufacturer. That deal is worth £15m, also […]

The title race is over folks Nice one Sparky, your boys could have tried a bit harder than that. I guess that sums up the thoughts of Rafa Benitez today. His Liverpool side keep on winning, but can’t get any closer to United, who also keep on doing the business. Touché.

Pies’ handy guide to Man City’s new Belgian defender Name Vincent Kompany Age 22 Nationality Belgian Club history Anderlecht, Hamburg SV, Man City (current) Position Central defender Is he any good? I know that in Konami’s Pro Evolution Soccer series he used to be a very talented, fast-improving young centre-back (I had him in my […]

Why has Man City defender fallen out of favour for his country? How many more times do I have to watch Wes Brown flail around for England at right-back? Brown is a capable centre-back, but a poor full-back. He often looks nervous on the ball, his close control is lacking, and while he runs the […]

Proof, if proof be need be… “Shirts are more generous” is just a polite way of saying “our sorry collection of fat-fuck fans told us they couldn’t even squeeze into an XXL shirt”. I reckon these expanding City fans should follow the famously obese Toon Army’s example and go shirtless. [EPL Talk]

Mark Hughes embarrassed by home defeat Man City lost at home to Danish side FC Midtjylland in the first leg of their Uefa Cup qualifier last night. It’s a rule in European football that you should always beat a team that you can’t pronounce – City failed miserably there. Sparky’s boys should still turn the […]

Today’s late-summer snacks Man Utd close in on Dimitar Berbatov. He’ll be a United player in the next 48 hours [Sun] Man City boss Mark Hughes has dismissed reports he is set to quit Eastlands amid rumours that Thaksin is trying to sell players behind his back [BBC] Cesc Fabregas did his hamstring in training, […]

Monday’s football brunch Steven Gerrard enjoys some groin love [The Spoiler] Man City boss Mark Hughes furious after Thaskin Shinawatra tries to sell Vedran Corluka and Stephen Ireland behind his back [Mirror] Arsene Wenger will be without injured Abou Diaby (thigh strain) for at least the first month of the season [Mail] Video highlights from […]

Top of the morning to you… West Ham reject Tottenham’s £15m offer for Dean Ashton. Spurs dodged a bullet there [Guardian] The C-Ron saga is finally over, says Fergie. The boy’s staying [BBC] The long-term future of Man City is in doubt after it emerged that owner Thaksin Shinawatra has explored the possibility of selling […]

You’ll never brawl alone

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Shiny new players, in shiny new kits Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Has anyone seen this man’s hair? Seems like Stephen Ireland had enough of the wig jokes and decided to break out the clippers. Wise move.

City start European campaign with solid win Sparky Hughes will be relatively happy to come away from the Faroe Islands with a win and a clean sheet. Fine goals by Martin Petrov and Dietmar Hamann – his first in more than three years – gave City a comfortable victory. Click on the image below to […]

Relax, meaningful football is back after several long weeks Man City take on EB Streymur (of the mighty Faroe Islands) in ther first round Uefa Cup qualifier tonight. Sparky Hughes has picked his strongest squad for his first game in charge of City. New signing Jo is set to make his competitive debut. Click on […]

Lardy Brazilian ex-genius still has some skills Fat-Ron, unwanted by Barcelona, showed he still has some magic left in his feet in a comeback friendly, against a Lionel Messi representative game. In his 56 minutes on the pitch, Ron scored twice, made two assists, and generally belied his chunky frame with a nimble performance. Black […]

Sparky makes his first signing Mark Hughes hasn’t wasted much time in strengthening Man City’s sketchy forward roster. Today he unveiled Jo, signed from CSKA Moscow for a “club record” undisclosed fee. In his Moscow days, Jo looked like a windswept crackhead, but he’s since had a haircut, which sucks, because there aren’t enough crackhead […]

Finding the Lonely Hearts of Euro 2008 the perfect home in the Premier League

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Arsenal – Artur Boruc
Poland’s keeper was in top form during the competition and a move to a top four club could be enough to tempt him away from Celtic. The Gunners – with Jens Lehmann on his way out – could be interested.