Remember we told you about Ronaldo’s brush with transvestite prostitutes? You must remember. If you can’t, remember when The Sun told you about it then go back 24 hours before that. Now you remember.
Anyway, the main developments since then have been Ronaldo’s fantastic quote: “There were no sexual relations because the moment I discovered they were transvestites I ended the whole thing. I am completely heterosexual, there is no doubt about that.” And also the mildly amusing fact that one of the prostitutes looks a bit like Carlos Tevez. Of course, this begs the question would Ronaldo try to pick up Tevez if he was wearing a dress? Carlitos himself is not averse to such activity as we discovered after his public schoolboy romp with Lucas Neill and Nani!
Wigan boss urged by Chelsea to “really, really try” against United Seems that Sir Alex Ferguson has no shortage of go-to guys in a crisis. Alan Curbishley (lurking on the right of this photo) ordered his West Ham team to roll over and let United scratch their tummies – “Lads, me and Alex are in […]
Portuguese cheater (not C-Ron, the other one) play-acts after butt And I thought Nani really had something with Lucas? Apparently not. Disgraceful stuff from Man Utd’s trickster. Fortunately, the officials didn’t buy it. Worthy of a five-match ban (but he’ll only be banned for three), not to mention the two weeks’ wages it has already […]
It seems Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo was the victim of a practical joke at the weekend. While the 40 goals a season winger was supposed to be conducting an interview with Match of the Day, some prankster had obviously misled C-Ron into believing he was attending an audition for a New Kids On The Block tribute band. Our money is on Rio Ferdinand being the culprit – the boy’s got form. Keep Hangin’ Tough, C-Ron. Chav-tastic!
We knew on Tuesday night that we were set for a historic all-English Champions League final, and we found out last night that it would be between Chelsea and Manchester United. So who will you be rooting for in Moscow? That is assuming you don’t support one of those teams, of course, otherwise the answer will be pretty obvious. Will you pick your team on geography (although I can’t imagine too many Manchester City fans cheering on United)? Do you have a preference for the colour red over blue? Or will you devise a complicated formula to work out who the underdog is and support them? Let us know who’s got your backing and if you want to leave a comment telling us why, that would be just grand.
Simple question, to those of you who watched last night’s Champions League semi. Who was your man of the match? There were several fine performances, mostly from men in red shirts, but I’ve narrowed it down to a shortlist of eight players. If I’ve missed someone off the list, leave an angry comment. Vote below: […]
Watch the best moments from last night’s enthralling Champions League semi final second leg, including, of course, Paul Scholes’ wonder goal.
1 What a time for Paul Scholes to score his second goal of the season. And what a goal!
A lookalikes/horror hair 2-for-1 mega deal, starring Cristiano Ronaldo and a crime-fighting robot Manga boy. As suggested by Pies reader Stacy S – thanks Stacy, a fine example of the genre. More shit lookalikes
This clip from French TV shows at least part of the already infamous Battle of the Bridge in which Manchester United players got into a scuffle with Chelsea ground staff after Saturday’s match. It is difficult to see what started the incident (especially as it was allegedly something said by one of the groundstaff). Patrice Evra seems to charge at a groundsman who swings for the left-back, knocking a steward over in the process. Why not sit in a darkened room behind Venetian blinds and make your own judgement on the video for that authentic FA experience?
Stop the press! C-Ron has won the PFA Player of the Year, for the second year in a row – no surprise there. Ronaldo was not present in person to collect the trophy ahead of tomorrow’s crucial Champions League semi-final against Barcelona at Old Trafford. But he was shown on a video screen accepting his […]
Michael Ballack had his best game in a Chelsea shirt on Saturday against Man Utd, and I believe it’s no coincidence that Frank Lampard was not playing alongside him. The Englishman, who was absent due to the sad, untimely death of his mother Pat, is a fine player but in my opinion he is a […]
No doubting the big game this weekend. The title will all but be decided at Stamford Bridge tomorrow lunchtime as Chelsea take on Man Yoo in what Sky Sports may or may not be calling the Battle for the Universe in an action-packed commercial set to the Star Wars theme. Anyway, here is a classic moment sent in by Pies reader Mr E Dunphy, of Dublin.
Somebody should have told C-Ron that you are supposed to wait until the final before a display like this. Whereas the AC Milan man was dedicating victory to JC, Ronaldo was presumably seeking redemption for another dive. The eleventh commandment according to C-Ron: “Thou shalt give me a free-kick if I hit the deck.”
Any ideas what Ronaldo’s reverse angle would show? I Belong At Real?
RTE pundit Dunphy doesn’t hold back in his condemnation of C-Ron’s “disgraceful” performance against Barcelona last night: Bit harsh on Ronaldo, no? His petulant, look-at-me display was distasteful, but not disgraceful.
The Champions League semi-final picture is no clearer after the first legs. Both games ended in draws, with little to choose between either set of teams. Chelsea probably have the edge after Riise’s late own goal, but it’s way too early to write off Liverpool, who outplayed the Blues for most of the first leg […]
BARCELONA ValdÃ©s Rarely called on, had no say in Ronaldo’s penalty miss. 6 Zambrotta Showed his pedigree and almost scored with a killer shot from range. 7 MÃ¡rquez Very fortunate to get away with a foul on C-Ron in the area. Otherwise solid. 6 Milito Unlucky to give away the penalty so early on, but […]
This just in from Popbitch: “Ken Loach is making a biopic of Eric Cantona‘s time at Man Utd, provisionally titled Finding Eric. The director hasn’t lost his “man of the people” credentials. Rather than staying in the posh Lowry Hotel he’s in a big standard 3 star place, refusing the services of a chauffeur and […]
Pies has looked deep into its crystal match ball. This is how our team of footy-mad bloggers thinks tonight’s Barca vs Man Utd clash will pan out: Ollie, Pies Ed. “Fresh from predicting a 1-1 draw at Anfield last night – not an amazing feat, I admit – I can confidently say that I have […]
In which Barca, inspired by the genius of Hristo Stoichkov and Romario, dished out a football lesson to United. HARD FACT Man Yoo have never beaten Barcelona in the Camp Nou.
C-Ron juggles a ball during a Man Utd training session at the Camp Nou, ahead of tonight’s Champions League semi final against Barcelona. Photo Martin Rickett/PA Wire
En-route to the Treble, United enjoyed two thrilling 3-3 draws with Barca in the Champions League group stage. In a true group of death, Barca were eliminated as the Red Devils and their future final opponents, Bayern Munich, progressed. During the opening group game at Old Trafford, David Beckham gave United a 3-2 lead with this trademark free-kick. All the good work was undone by naughty Nicky Butt who conceded a penalty for handball and (literally) handed Barca a point.
Sir Alex Ferguson is getting on, Arsene Wenger hasn’t won anything for three seasons, Rafa Benitez seems pissed off at the whole Hicks vs Gillett/Parry circus (can you blame him?) and Avram Grant can do no right, even when he does no wrong. So which of the big four’s gaffers do you think will leave […]
An amazing goal by King Kev against mighty Man Utd (wearing blue!) at The Dell… er, except it wasn’t. The linesman flagged for David Armstrong’s offside, thereby cruelly robbing KK of a truly wonderful strike.