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Who ate all the pies

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Man Utd

Manchester United: All the latest Manchester United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

WRONG from whichever angle you look at it

“Everybody in the team watches a lot of movies, but with me it is a real hobby”

Plenty of lovable rogues to choose between at Old Trafford

“Look, I’m not a fucking buftie, and that’s the end of it”

A terrible artist’s impression of how Luka Modric might look in a Man Utd kit if he was a Bobblehead and not a real person Message to Fergie: You took Carrick, you took Berbatov, but you’re not gonna take my Luka Modric. No way José. Yes, there is a scary rumour that Man Utd are […]

“Er, gaffer, the hat’s a bit too big. And I know I’m black but, er, not all black guys wear baseball caps. I do have a magnificent penis though…” “Shut up and smile for the cameras, big man. You’re gonna get me some goals.” “Yeah, about that…”

All hail Robbie Blake, who looks like a plasterer but thankfully doesn’t play like one. His terrific strike put paid to Man Utd on a famous night for Burnley. United had their chances, notably a Michael Carrick penalty that was brilliantly saved by Brian “The Beast” Jensen, but Burnley were good value for the win; […]

That didn’t take long! Available now from Newstowear, priced just £9.99 As one of Pies’ Twitter followers just pointed out, there is one small problem with the shirt – they got the date wrong. D’oh! Anyone brave enough to send one of these to Fergie? I’d say he’s a Large these days.

I love this season already

August 20th, 2009

I don’t know if it’s because the recession has levelled the playing field – by weakening the big four – but already this season feels very different. By different, I mean unpredictable. And about time too. For years we have waited for a genuinely unpredictable Premier League, sitting through countless dreary games where the result […]

“Pick me, pick me!” This is where you get to pick United’s best starting line-up for this season. First up, I’ll reveal my selection (based on United’s squad at time of writing). I planned to post this before the season started, obviously, but server gremlins meant I couldn’t. Anyway, better late etc etc. So this […]

Patrice Evra is an iPod Nazi

August 19th, 2009

Bow down and tremble at these mad Photoshop skills. Ahem So apparently Evra is an iPod Nazi. (That’s OK, Patrice – so am I.) According to our chums at The Spoiler, the feisty Frenchman has appointed himself Man Utd’s official DJ-in-residence: “I enjoy the role very much. Before the match I sit down in my […]

Our good fwends at Dirty Tackle have already spotted the comic potential of Dimitar “The Continental” Berbatov – so good – I wish I’d thought of it - and now talkSPORT (ridiculous use of caps, fellas) has joined in with this clever mash-up: SUCCEED.

Highlights of Chelsea’s morale-boosting win at Wembley, including: Nani’s excellent solo goal, Michael Ballack’s “elbow” on Patrice Evra (from which Chelsea scored their second goal, much to Fergie and his players’ chagrin) and United’s abject batch of penalties: Decent game, not that I was ever going to schedule my weekend around it. Btw, that’s twice […]

Click on the image below to see the best photos from Wembley’s curtain raiser (match analysis to follow):

The photo on the right was taken just last night, during Man City’s “friendly” at Rangers (City lost 3-2, btw). Bellamy, a former Celtic player, got a frightful amount of stick from the crowd, and he reacted by doing his usual impression of an angry little prick with a bad case of short man syndrome. […]

Little Mickey Owen missed several good chances to score on his Man Utd home debut, in last night’s friendly against Valencia. And in front of Fabio Capello too. At least Owen has Fergie in his corrner now: “He could have scored four, should have scored four,” United’s manager said after the game. “But his movement […]

City’s new away kit: … versus United’s new away kit: Gotta say this is a comprehensive victory for City’s new away kit. Very classy, especially the grandad collar. United’s, however, looks exactly like what it is: an unimaginative Nike template. Yawn. Which one gets your vote? Man City’s away kit v Man Utd’s away kit: […]

A pair of chav-faced peas in a pod. (Murray is a young Irish actor, best-known for his role as Seamus Finnigan in the Harry Potter movies.) Cheers to Raz for the suggestion. Good work fella. Got a lookalike for Pies? Email me with your suggestion(s).

Cristiano, don’t go… Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Quote of the day goes to Fergie: “Those goals from midfield have dried up a little in recent years, so we have to address that. I will be looking to [Ji-Sung] Park, Nani, [Antonio] Valencia, even [Danny] Welbeck and [Federico] Macheda, to contribute 40 goals between them.” My reaction to this […]

Fergie’s crimson face tells the story. Yep, United lost After last night’s defeat to Bayern Munich in the final of the Audi Cup, Man Utd can no longer win the fabled septuple. Yes, United’s season is in tatters and it’s not even August. United lost on pens to Bayern, in the Allianz Arena, after playing […]