Ginger prince bends like Bamboo in the summer wind. Can’t tackle for shit.

Man Utd have a job on to progress to the semi finals. They got the crucial away goal that Fergie demanded, so even though they lost I’d say they have a marginally better chance than Chelsea of making the last four. A 1-0 win at Old Trafford will be enough. After Paul Scholes was sent [...]

When trouble kicks off at an English side’s European away match, the one thing you can always be sure of is that an army of baton-wielding uniformed thugs looking like Star Wars Stormtroopers’ navy blue cousins will be around to crack a few heads open. Look how effectively this prostrate Manchester United fan is subdued [...]

Back in 1999 Manchester United were facing Italian opposition in the quarter-finals of the Champions League on their way to the Treble. Now it is Roma, then it was Juventus. Here is the first leg from Old Trafford. [Rob Parker]

She got merk’d! To be fair to Rio, he did apologise and then gave the woman his shirt after the game.

Fergie blasted Sky Sports’ reporter Geoff Shreeves after Man Utd’s 1-0 win against Boro in the FA Cup on Monday night. The Man Yoo boss reportedly called poor Geoff a ‘f***ing bastard’ and told him to ‘f**k off’ after the reporter questioned Cristiano Ronaldo over the incident that earned United the match-winning penalty. Upon learning [...]

As requested, here’s James Morrison’s cynical hack on Cronaldo, which rightly earned the Boro substitute a straight red card. And watch Ronaldo’s post-match interview below: ‘Of course it was a penalty…’ His English is coming on nicely.

Boro seem to think that Ronaldo dived to win Man Utd’s game-winning penalty, and no doubt Ronaldo-haters will think he went down to easily. Bollocks. It’s not a dive and the ref was right to award a penalty. Woodgate clearly caught him, end of story. I also think there’s an element of truth in Fergie’s [...]

Hard… to type… through… the tears… (sniff)… his hair is so lovely…

Commentator Martin Tyler doesn’t seem to realise that’s it’s gone in (either that or the audio is out of sync). A wonderful strike to light up a pretty pointless friendly.

Here’s a snap of Cristiano Ronaldo impressing Canadian supermodel Daria Werbowy with his ball control/sharp suit. She is laughing at how much gel he has in his hair, and probably saying to him, ‘Do that dive that you always do…’ It’s taken from a shoot in the latest issue of US Vogue, no less. Maybe [...]

1 Why is it Ballack & Shevchenko can do it against Europe’s finest, but not against the likes of Wigan and Charlton? Must be very frustrating for Chelski fans.2 It’s never a good idea to headbutt the pitch. Just ask poor Mikael Silvestre.3 Celtic have got some very talented kids who should be proud of [...]

Yawn. Do you even care that Fergie has told Jose to ‘button his lip’? The newspapers and main football sites seem to think it’s a big story, but to be honest, it bores the pants off me. Is there anything less interesting and more predictable than two football managers engaging in so-called mind games? The [...]

For the past two years, Bulgarian Man Yoo fan Marin Levidzhev (that’s not him) has been fighting in his country’s courts to have his name legally changed to ‘Manchester United’. Magistrates in Bulgaria have just ruled that he can call himself Manchester Levidzhev but not Manchester United. Which kind of defeats the object. Can he [...]

News reaches us that Premiership chairmen are going to be forced into cutting ‘obscene’ ticket prices because fans have just about had enough of being the victims of daylight robbery every weekend, and as a result, football has reached a tipping point. Two top-flight chairmen have expressed the same view, both of whom predict price [...]

Bad hair, big ankles, brilliant goalscorer – that just about sums up Sparky.

I’m sure we’re all agreed that Lille should be punished in some way for their part in last night’s Champions League tie with Man Utd. Neither their players, coaching staff, fans or the authorities at the ground (which was actually Len’s stadium, not Lille’s) covered themselves in glory. I don’t think Uefa will chuck them [...]

So the Quarter Final draw has been made for the FA Cup and the big guns have been kept apart once more. Middlesbrough or West Brom v Manchester United or Reading Arsenal or Blackburn v Manchester City Chelsea v Tottenham Plymouth v Watford The matches will take place on 10 and 11 March. Who do [...]

Former Manchester United winger and all round twinkle toes Andrei Kanchelskis has decided to retire from football. Kanchelskis, now 38-years-old, said: "You need to leave at the right time. Now seems a suitable moment to begin a new chapter in my footballing life," added Kanchelskis, who will be deciding his plans in the coming weeks. [...]

Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo has received a £1,000 speeding fine and had six points put on his licence. The punishment came from Manchester Magistrates’ Court rather than Tottenham left-back Lee Young-Pyo, who could be forgiven for wishing Ronaldo had a speed limit on the pitch. Ronaldo, of Stockport (does that sound wrong to anyone [...]

Sir Alex Ferguson now has a valid reason not to flog John O’Shea to a lower league club: he can be Manchester United‘s reserve keeper! Man Yoo fans were treated to O’Shea’s finest display in a United shirt against Spurs yesterday, and it came while replacing Edwin van der Sar who had broken his nose.  [...]

Continuing our ginger afro theme – and especially for Pies regular Billyo – here is Wes Brown proving you don’t have to be able to play like Carlos Valderrama to pull off the ginger afro on a football pitch. Go Wes! Have you spotted a footballing ginger afro? Let us know so we can give [...]

The race for the Premier League title is getting serious with the Mirror reporting that a spy plane recorded aerial footage of a secret Manchester United training session. The tabloid claims a secret client hired a converted Cessna aeroplane to film United players training at their Carrington base. Footage and stills of the private training [...]

Manchester United star Wayne Rooney has revealed he loves to listen to the musical Oliver! – and he knows the words to every song. The England striker revealed on his brand spanking new website that he loves to listen to Lionel Bart’s musical. Artists including 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Stereophonics, Arctic Monkeys and Damien Rice are [...]

So, Keith Hackett wants the BBC to stop criticizing his referees eh? Well, like I said last week, if that’s going to happen, we need the match officials to sharpen up a bit. This weekend, much like any other footballing weekend, has seen a couple of incidents that have really stuck in my throat. The [...]