Big, bad, ugly anti-football club get found out in the end.

1 The better side won without a doubt, although Rangers were much improved after the break.

For footballers who list Roger Johnson not only as a Cardiff City defender, but also as a hobby…

“Sometimes on a day off I go to the doughnut shop. When we play at home, I go there after the game and it’s like a doughnut party! Everyone is eating doughnuts inside their cars – it’s like a disco!” Arsenal’s Cesc Fabregas reveals just how scientific a modern player’s diet can be. “Had I [...]

Happel Stadium, Vienna: Almost 2,000 people took of their clothes to pose for US photographer Spencer Tunick, who’s famous for contriving such acts of mass public nudity. My favourite model is the tubby old guy on the right, who seems to be using the shoot as a cunning way of staring at boobs.

Because relegation can be fun Admit it – there is something enjoyable in seeing other team’s fans crying like little girls because their team went down. Here’s a young Reading fan blubbing into his River Island shirt, like he’s just sat through E.T. The sap.

HEROES
Danny Murphy Scored the priceless goal against Portsmouth that kept Fulham in the Premier League.

Free £10 bet at Betclick Bet on Leeds to win – 3-0 pays out £110 for a tenner. Click here. Pies has teamed up with BetClick.com to offer you a free bet – that’s right, open an account and your first £10 bet is on them – you win you keep all the money, you [...]

Fancy winning £500? Or a load of Nike vouchers? All you have to do is enter our Cisco video competition telling us how you think video could improve football. Here’s Dave’s rather funny entry. To enter the comp go here

Where footballers are stopped in their tracks by a good tackle…

Inter Milan met Pope Benedict XVI this week to celebrate their centenary. Most of the squad must have been praying that they can hold onto their three-point lead over Roma and win the Serie A title. Captain Javier Zanetti presented the Pope with a personalised replica shirt with his name and number on the back.

Leeds United Ladies’ Steph Houghton saved this woeful throw-in for the Women’s FA Cup final, the pinnacle of the women’s game in this country. Talk about picking your moments.

There were bizarre scenes in Spain last night as players from relegated Levante refused to start the match in a protest over unpaid wages. The players stood huddled around the centre-circle as if they were observing a minute’s silence as Deportivo La Coruna kicked off the match. Deportivo unsurprisingly found themselves with an immediate opportunity to take the lead, but sportingly put the ball out of play for a goal-kick. Normal service was then resumed.

This sketch shows Ray Stubbs getting irate as comedian Omid Djalili commentates on a park kickabout featuring his nephew.

Barcelona swallowed their pride to form a guard of honour and applaud fierce rivals Real Madrid onto the field. Barca’s respect for the new La Liga champions did not stop there. The Catalan club then proceeded to bend over and be spanked 4-1 (a show of deference which probably went a bit too far for most of their fans’ liking).

For those who like to set up camp in the opposition half…

Bayern Munich pair Lukas Podolski and Luca Toni look like they are having fun here. The bouquet-wielding duo appear just moments away from a full blown game of kiss chase. And is the German international stealing a sneaky tickle of his Italian team-mate?
More Gaydar

Becks gets his mojo back, scores from open play! Sweet strike by Beckham to pull a goal back for LA Galaxy against Real Salt Lake in MLS last weekend. He then scored a lovely free-kick to help his team to a 2-2 draw, which you can see below…

Today’s best football news and rumours, brought to you in association with the letter ‘P’ and the number ’5′ Liverpool’s revised plans for its Stanley Park stadium (pictured) have been approved by the city council, at last. Anfield will now be redeveloped as a car park, sports centre and hotel. [BBC] Arsene Wenger reveals summer [...]

When it’s a bowling ball, of course. It is an easy mistake to make as this advert for an opticians shows.

FA set semi target for international team In their infinite wisdom, the Football Association has demanded that the national team reach at least the last four of the next World Cup, or Euro 2012. The FA revealed their optimistic vision this week in a 52-page document which set out several policy initiatives for the international [...]

Sometimes as a defender you have to acknowledge that you were beaten by a better, quicker and younger player and be gracious in defeat. Alternatively, you could simply tug the player back by his genitals. Rooney never takes his eye of his balls. Prostitute Charlotte Glover once told the Sunday Mirror that her twin sister was “starstruck with Wayne and asked if she could touch his willy, so that she could say she had held Rooney’Â’s manhood”. We can only assume Mellberg felt the same way!

Don’t ask us why he’s wearing a swimming cap… Who ate all the pies? This gutted Leicester City fan, by the look of him. And all the pasties, crisps and biscuits too. [Spotted on The Offside] Photo Getty Images

West Ham mercenary offered hand relief by Man Utd starlet? I wouldn’t want to share a prison shower with Nani or Carlos Tevez. Not on this evidence. Still, Lucas seems to be enjoying it, and that’s what counts.

Promoted Potters will be new worst team in Premier League history So, congratulations to Stoke City, who get to replace Derby County as the Premier League’s gimp. Jon Parkin, Richard Creswell, Rory Delap, Leon Cort: these Stoke lads, journeymen through and through, clearly have what it takes to go one better than the Rams and [...]

Here at Who Ate All The Pies we really love our surveys. Yep, we love nothing better than coming up with questions, wading through your responses, chuckling at your witty replies (well, sometimes) and generally finding out what you really think.

To the football purist, Rangers are a nightmare. Walter Smith’s men play a game that is often cautious, set piece-based and defensive-minded. Lionel Messi accused them of playing “anti-football”, and in as much as Rangers are aware of their shortcomings and realise that the best way to win is to stifle and frustrate the opposition, [...]