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Who ate all the pies

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Miscellaneous

David James conceded England’s only goal against France last night in almost exactly the same way that he brought down Thierry Henry in Euro 2004 before Zidane claimed victory with a last minute penalty – some things never change.
You can see the goals in the highlights here along with us playing better football…four years ago!

n the eve of David Beckham’s century of England caps we thought we’d take a look back at one of the of the most inspirational careers in world football.
Beckham’s greatest asset has always been his ‘bouncebackability‘ and his greatest highs have often been driven by his darkest lows – write him off at your peril because he almost invented the recipe for humble pie.

As far as I can gather, this advert is for a group of Italian banks who have joined together to create a formidable team. So good is this team that they overshadow the World Cup-winning team of 2006. And who should be on the next table but Marco Materazzi, Andrea Pirlo and Daniele De Rossi. The punchline – which you don’t need to be Italian to work out – is that mild-mannered Pirlo loses his temper while Materazzi and De Rossi keep their cool.

This match was England’s final group game of the 1966 World Cup. Sir Alf Ramsey’s men kept up their momentum with a 2-0 victory over France. Roger Hunt grabbed both goals with a tap-in and a free header.

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Becks lines up to make his England debut against Moldova on September 1, 1996.

Unless Fabio Capello has a very cruel sense of humour then David Beckham will win his much sought after 100th England cap when we play France tomorrow.
Since Ferdinand is captain, it’s unlikely Becks will start but is his century of caps simply a golden handshake for past efforts (and to silence the media circus) or will Becks still be in consideration when the competitive games start?

Frank Lampard had given England the lead against France in their Euro 2004 opener, but this stunning free-kick from Zizou sparked a French comeback and they eventually won the game 2-1.

Arsenal’s goalkeeper has the same sallow face and ill-advised blonde dye-job as Jonny Lee Miller’s character in the iconic Trainspotting – and he’s probably feeling like a ‘Sickboy’ after Arsenal’s title hopes went down the toilet on Sunday!

Here is Little Britain’s Matt Lucas in his previous incarnation as lounge singer George Dawes on Shooting Stars singing a little easy listening ditty called Football. Send that punk off the pitch, bitch.

Fifth division outfit Carquefou pulled off a huge shock in the French Cup this week as they dumped Marseille out of the competition. The winning goal in the 1-0 victory was scored by Senegalese midfielder Papa Idrissa N’Doye.

Mido’s eye-high lunge at Gael Clichy last weekend wasn’t the Egyptian’s first nasty challenge. This horrific tackle came in a supposed friendly match. It would be a nasty challenge whoever had made it, but with Mido’s weight behind it… ouch!

As you might have see, we’ve been asking Pies’ readers to pick their team of the season by voting for players in each position.
So far, the back four is sorted with David James in goal, Arsenal’s Bacary Sagna and Gael Clichy covering the flanks and a partnership of Ferdinand and Vidic in the middle. Now it’s time to select the creatives, starting with a midfield playmaker.

Fabio Capello has just announced his second squad selection to face France in next week’s friendly. A recall for old Goldenballs is the biggest story, although Capello hasn’t revealed if he’ll be wearing the captain’s armband for his 100th cap – or even starting.
Among the other five new faces missing from the first dquad are Chelsea’s John Terry and Frank Lampard while Jermaine Defoe and a long awaited return for Theo Walcott should add some pace to the squad. The biggest surprise is Middlesbrough’s young central defender David Wheater, although there’s a long pecking order in that position.
So, from the 30 players that Don Fabio has chosen – who would be the first eleven names on your team sheet?

Don Fabio is still auditioning for the role of captain of the England team as he prepares to announce his selection for only his second game in charge – next week’s friendly against Thierry Henry and co.
Steven Gerrard was given the armband in his first match but there are rumours that Capello agrees with most in that Gerrard is a different capatain at club level than he is with the Three Lions on his shirt.

Standard Liege goalkeeper Rorys Aragon Espinosa relived Rene Higuita’s scorpion kick with his own attempt in a match against Gent. The Ecuadorian didn’t quite get the same contact as Higuita, but the ball didn’t fly into the net so I suppose it has to go down as a successful save. I don’t know too much about this guy and you probably don’t either, so check out his MySpace. It’s a veritable who’s who of Ecuadorian football!

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This Snapshot shows Chelsea manager Glenn Hoddle unveiling new signing Ruud Gullit in June 1995.

The latest installment of the Rubber One’s television phone-in show features Sven Goran Eriksson dressed as a pimp and some cracking line from David Beckham. Need I say more?

Keegan has been banging on about so-called ‘six-pointers’ but in the end he had to settle with sharing the points as his Newcastle side drew 1-1 with Birmingham last night.
The good news on Tyneside is that Michael Owen scored with a typical poachers goal after Obafemi Martins shot was blocked – can Owen go on to repay the Geordies faith by scoring the goals to keep them up?

In recent weeks we’ve been asking Pies’ readers to vote for the best players in their positions to make up our own Premier League team of the season.
So far you’ve gone for the enduring David James in goal while the attacking merits of Arsenal’s Bacary Sagna and Gael Clichy have sewn up the full-back positions – but who’s going to compliment their silky skills with some steel in the centre of defence?

Roy Keane can’t have made too many friends from officials during his playing career and, with some of the appalling decisions made against his Sunderland team since he returned to the Premier League as a manager, maybe his early behaviour has come back to haunt him.

Now that the quarterfinal draw for the Champions League has been made with teams separated into opposite halves, fans who prefer not to ‘take one game at a time’ will be analysing various permutations to predict this season’s final.

here isn’t a single English striker in the Premier League’s top ten scorers this season – and two of only three national players to score double figures, Lampard and Gerrard, are midfielders by trade.
That must be giving Don Fabio some cause for concern, especially since Wayne Rooney seems to struggle as a lone striker and he apparently doesn’t rate Michael Owen. His other choices look limited to big team players who spend most of their time on the bench such as Peter Crouch or gambling on someone who is impressing for a smaller team a la Jermaine Defoe.
Click through to vote for who you think is England’s best striking option.

We knew that there would be at least one all-English tie in the Champions League quarterfinals and Arsenal will play Liverpool for the first time in the competition – with the winner likely to meet Chelsea in the semis.
Both teams impressed by beating the best that Milan could offer in the previous round but who will prevail on home soil?

Some people took David Beckham’s move from Real Madrid to LA Galaxy as a fall from grace and a sign that he was past his best. But Becks has always made his marketing profile equally as important as his career on the pitch. What then are we to make of the fact that the face of Adidas, Vodafone and Brylcreem is now flogging “vee Omeegah free fish oils” of Go3?