The tournament’s dark horse? Not really… TURKEY (Group A) Group-mates Portugal (7 June, Geneva), Switzerland (11 June, Basel), Czech Rep. (15 June, Geneva) Three most valuable players 1) Nihat Kahveci The attacking midfielder (pictured), who can also play up front, had a fine season for Villareal and will be one to watch. 2) Tuncay Sanli [...]

This is how the Swiss roll (lame pun alert)… SWITZERLAND (Group A) Group-mates Czech Rep. (7 June, Basel), Turkey (11 June, Basel), Portugal (15 June, Basel) Three most valuable players 1) Alexander Frei Recently became his country’s leading all-time scorer. The Swiss rely massively on his goals, but he rarely lets them down. Frei seems [...]

THEN: Ronnie Ekelund has the strange claim to fame of having played Premier League football for two seasons without ever having signed for a Premier League club. The story goes that Barcelona boss Johann Cruyff and his old friend Alan Ball, then Southampton manager, were reunited when the two clubs stayed at the same hotel. When Cruyff asked his old mucker what he would like as a parting gift, Ball replied: “A left-sided midfielder.” He woke the next morning to find a Barcelona tracksuit-clad Ekelund waiting in the lobby. The Dane soon linked up well with Matt Le Tissier and made an impressive start to his Saints career. He scored five goals in 17 appearances. A permanent move never materialised because Ekelund refused to have surgery on a back injury. He had brief loan spells at Manchester City and Coventry City, but injuries prevented him making an impact.

Pies tells you almost all you need to know about the Brazil of Europe PORTUGAL (Group A) Group-mates Turkey (7 June, Geneva), Czech Rep. (11 June, Geneva), Switzerland (15 June, Basel) Three most valuable players 1) Cristiano Ronaldo After Lionel Messi C-Ron is the most dangerous attacking force in football. If he wants to be [...]

Pies’ essential lowdown on the bouncy Czechs Group-mates Switzerland (7 June, Basel), Portugal (11 June, Geneva), Turkey (15 June, Geneva) Three most valuable players 1) Petr Cech, Chelsea’s imposing goalie 2) Jan Koller, veteran striker still capable of striking fear into defenders’ hearts 3) Jaroslav Plasil, a wide midfielder who always seems to raise his [...]

Another meaningless friendly international? You bet! David Beckham, talking to sleeve, stretching groin.

Van der Sar and team-mates muddy-up for Dutch newspaper Scared? I was, when I saw this photo of Edwin van der Sar, taken for AD’s Euro 2008 supplement. When the photographer, Erwin Olaf, was asked how he described the shoot to the players, he said: “…they would be portrayed as lust objects, that there were [...]

Ticket-text.com, Europe’s leading mobile ticketing company, has teamed up with Pies to offer readers the chance to watch the Republic of Ireland v Colombia international match at Craven Cottage on Thursday May 29th. It’s the perfect opportunity for football fans to watch a cracking friendly while also experiencing the latest in ticketing technology with two [...]

Giving the Camp Nou a whole new meaning…

Wellity, wellity, wellity. Looks like we might have a couple of Gaydar regulars on our hands (so to speak). Barcelona duo Ronaldinho and Thierry Henry are back… and this time they brought friends. Young Lionel Messi has been groomed through the Catalan giants’ academy to make sure he does things the Barca way, and Gabriel Milito is the man making Henry’s eyes boggle.

Have you entered our “My Video Life” competition yet? If not, there’s still time – you can shoot something over the weekend in fact, as the deadline is the end of Monday 19th May.

Soccerball’s poster boy is the master of homoerotica Wooly hat and underpants, a classic look.

Big, bad, ugly anti-football club get found out in the end.

1 The better side won without a doubt, although Rangers were much improved after the break.

For footballers who list Roger Johnson not only as a Cardiff City defender, but also as a hobby…

“Sometimes on a day off I go to the doughnut shop. When we play at home, I go there after the game and it’s like a doughnut party! Everyone is eating doughnuts inside their cars – it’s like a disco!” Arsenal’s Cesc Fabregas reveals just how scientific a modern player’s diet can be. “Had I [...]

Happel Stadium, Vienna: Almost 2,000 people took of their clothes to pose for US photographer Spencer Tunick, who’s famous for contriving such acts of mass public nudity. My favourite model is the tubby old guy on the right, who seems to be using the shoot as a cunning way of staring at boobs.

Because relegation can be fun Admit it – there is something enjoyable in seeing other team’s fans crying like little girls because their team went down. Here’s a young Reading fan blubbing into his River Island shirt, like he’s just sat through E.T. The sap.

HEROES
Danny Murphy Scored the priceless goal against Portsmouth that kept Fulham in the Premier League.

It’s squeaky bum time. By rights Wigan at 11/1 at home look a tempting bet to ruin Manchester United’s season. Last week they trounced Europe chasing Villa and at 0-2 came in at 29/1. They have also taken points off Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool under Steve Bruce. But the odds are shorter on Manchester – [...]

Free £10 bet at Betclick Bet on Leeds to win – 3-0 pays out £110 for a tenner. Click here. Pies has teamed up with BetClick.com to offer you a free bet – that’s right, open an account and your first £10 bet is on them – you win you keep all the money, you [...]

Fancy winning £500? Or a load of Nike vouchers? All you have to do is enter our Cisco video competition telling us how you think video could improve football. Here’s Dave’s rather funny entry. To enter the comp go here

Where footballers are stopped in their tracks by a good tackle…

Inter Milan met Pope Benedict XVI this week to celebrate their centenary. Most of the squad must have been praying that they can hold onto their three-point lead over Roma and win the Serie A title. Captain Javier Zanetti presented the Pope with a personalised replica shirt with his name and number on the back.

Leeds United Ladies’ Steph Houghton saved this woeful throw-in for the Women’s FA Cup final, the pinnacle of the women’s game in this country. Talk about picking your moments.

There were bizarre scenes in Spain last night as players from relegated Levante refused to start the match in a protest over unpaid wages. The players stood huddled around the centre-circle as if they were observing a minute’s silence as Deportivo La Coruna kicked off the match. Deportivo unsurprisingly found themselves with an immediate opportunity to take the lead, but sportingly put the ball out of play for a goal-kick. Normal service was then resumed.

This sketch shows Ray Stubbs getting irate as comedian Omid Djalili commentates on a park kickabout featuring his nephew.