OK, this is shit, but shit meaning good - Landycakes needs bigger hair and a meaner glare, but he’s not far off. And any time I can squeeze a pixelated game character into Shit Lookalikes, I leap at the chance. If you’ve never played Dragon Ball Z, there’s more on Vegata here. Got any more videogame [...]

The USA has never lost a group match in the history of the CONCACAF Gold Cup. That record was severely tested by Haiti this weekend, when only a brilliant Stuart Holden strike in injury time saved the pre-tournament favourites from an embarrassing defeat. Highlights of the 2-2 draw below: Despite the draw, the Haitians still [...]

Funny that Brian Ching, the first footballer we featured in our new series, Footballers Who Tweet, is now in a spot of trouble thanks to the social networking site. Ching Tweeted the following message yesterday, immediately after Houston Dynamo lost 2-1 to Seattle Sounders: Why was Ching so incensed? The ref had allowed a goal [...]

Exhibit A: ‘Soccer is a reason to riot.’ ‘I don’t hate, I relate.’ ‘Soccer still ranks somwhere between World’s Strongest Man and professional poker.’ If you see Jim Rome in the street - he’s the one with the douchebag goatee - don’t let me stop you from throwing your pre-bagged urine sack in his smug face. He’s [...]

Landycakes has stood up to be counted. In an explosive quote from Grant Wahl’s new book, ‘The Beckham Experiment’, the US midfielder reveals a shocking level of emnity and resentment towards Golden Balls. Get a load of this: “All that we care about at a minimum is that he [Beckham] committed himself to us. As [...]

On Twitter, the Houston Dynamo striker styles himself as “an active guy who loves to surf and who plays soccer for a living. Can’t complain.” The Chingster’s positive attitude makes a refreshing change from many Prem stars, who don’t seem to know they’re born. Plus he Tweets regularly, on all manner of subjects. Sample Tweets [...]

I’m in two minds about the very real possibility of the US of A becoming a major force in world football in the next decade. This summer’s Confed Cup has shown that America has the potential to compete with the likes of Brazil and Spain, and although I still think they have no chance to [...]

Chad Marshall is a defender for Columbus Crew. John C Reilly is a character actor - you might recognise him from his fine work in such movies as Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Step Brothers, The Gangs of New York, Hard Eight, Talladega Nights and Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Thanks to Harrington Weihl for the tip. [...]

Gooch Onyewu enjoys the spoils after the USA’s amazing win over Spain A potted match report: USA took their chances, Gooch defended like a Minotaur (when he’s on his game, he’s close to unbeatable) and Spain looked absolutely knackered. Congrats to the States, who will play either Brazil or hosts South Africa in the final. [...]

I bet Claudio Reyna never had to put up with any of this infomercial shit when he was playing in England. Poor chap. Perhaps this is what prompted him to quit New York?

Becks exists only for Victoria. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it In an interview with Italian newspaper La Stampa, Becks denied he had a dinner date with Mariann Fogarasy, a Hungarian glamour model who is a) much younger than Victoria Beckham, and b) much prettier than Victoria Beckham. In fairness to Dave, he [...]

West End to see a “Theatre of Dreams” show based on Becks? A songwriter is talking with West End producers about staging a musical based on the life of David Beckham. No suprise really – in fact, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. Librettist Mark Archer has written a collection of songs for the musical, [...]

A legend, do you hear me… Darren Huckerby facts: 1) He comes from the Northfolk team in north-east England 2) He’s a legend 3) He’s responsible for the Greatest Goal Ever 4) “Manchester” play in blue, it seems 5) He’s a LEGEND 6) His wife is too old to be a pop star

Galaxy do fine impression of collapsing star Well that went well. Ruud Gullit’s Hollywood adventure lasted all of nine months, in which time he again proved that great players don’t necessarily make great managers. Gullit resigned – was he pushed? – and has been replaced temporarily by assistant coach Cobi Jones (the one who looks [...]