When it comes to wasting money on transfer fees, few clubs do it quite as well as Newcastle United. It is not easy to spend £100 million on transfer flops in less than 10 years – you wouldn’t think there was that many dodgy signings to be made. Click below to read how you do [...]

What the hell is Alan singing along to? Is that U2? Answers on a postcard please…

Is Michael Owen throwing the World’s longest sickie? Is it something that he’s picked up from Jonathon ‘out with a broken eyelash’ Woodgate whilst at Real Madrid? You see, after messing his knee up, Owen has only just decide to go to the US for his operation and is set to miss most, if not [...]

The Uefa Cup – does anyone care these days? Yes, if you’re team’s in with a chance of winning it. So for fans of Spurs, Newcastle, Blackburn, West Ham, Hearts, Rangers and Derry, here’s how the first-round draw looks (ties played on 14/28 Sept): Levadia Tallinn (Estonia) v Newcastle UtdMolde FK (Norway) v RangersDerry City [...]

Maybe losing out on Dirk Kuyt wasn’t such a bad thing. It now seems likely that Newcastle United will land Inter’s Obafemi Martins instead. I think he’ll terrify Premier League defenders…

Tottenham may have backed down but Glenn Roeder has now admitted an interest in Inter’s Nigerian striker Obafemi Martins. There’s one thing I know about Martins: in Pro Evolution Soccer, he’s famously blessed with speed and acceleration stats of 99 (the highest you can get). Here’s a video of him in action for Inter:

Thomas Gravesen is a thug isn’t he? He used to chop Premiership players down for fun. Now in Spain, at the most famous club in the world, it would seem that he can’t catch those quick and nimble Galacticos, and is settling for a good old smack in the mouth. With Boro and Newcastle looking [...]

How daft are Spurs? You try and convince everyone that you’re a big club with ambition, and then, whilst trying to land a big player (like Damien Duff), you ask a proper big club (like Chelsea) to help out with his wages. Spurs have a wage structure that is seemingly pretty strict. No-one at Spurs [...]

One of the most surprising bits of gossip today is the apparently successful £2.5million bid for Juan Pablo Sorin by Bolton. However, Pompey and Inter are still in the hunt for the Argentina skipper. Glenn Roeder is hopeful of signing German hitman Miroslav Klose, but fears their lack of European football next season will put [...]

Newcastle United signed Damien Duff from Chelsea this weekend, on a five-year contract. Um, why? I like Duff a lot but the last thing NUFC needs is another tricky winger –  the club’s immediate priority should be to buy a world-class central defender and a world-class striker. To be fair to Glenn Roeder, I’m sure [...]

Reports abound that Freddie Shepherd met David Beckham with a view to signing the former England skipper. Beckham’s ‘people’ have denied this, saying it was a coincidence that the Newcastle United chairman and Becks were spotted at Claridges Hotel at the same time. OK, fair enough – the tabloids have got to fill their back [...]

Newcastle United are just eight days away from a third-round Intertoto Cup tie (contain yourself), probably against Lillestrom of Norway. Trouble is, they have no fit strikers: Alan Shearer’s retired, Michael Owen’s crocked long-term and Shola Amoebi is struggling to recover from a hip injury. That leaves… Albert Luque. Is that the sound of Jackie [...]

I wish clubs would make up their mind when it comes to away kits – some change their away colours every year. If memory serves, the Magpies last had a red-and-blue away kit in the 1995/96 season – Adidas’s Newcastle away kit for the 2006/07 season resurrects that colour scheme and looks a bit of [...]