Newcastle United: All the latest Newcastle United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs
Horror Hair: Alan Smith
December 3rd, 2007
What’s all this about then? It was one thing for Big Sam Allardyce to insist on playing a striker in midfield, but now he appears to have taken to playing a porcupine in midfield. Alan Smith has rekindled his love affair with peroxide. Unfortunately there wasn’t enough left in his last bottle to do a full head of hair.
Head to head: Rafael Benitez and Sam Allardyce
November 27th, 2007
Billy Davies is the sixth Premier League manager to leave his club this season â€“ thereâ€™s a Pies pat on the back if you can guess the others? But, it could be unlucky seven before Christmas with these two hanging from tenterhooks – Rafa’s upset the owners while Sam isn’t the fans’ favourite.
What does Joey Barton deserve for his horror tackle on Dickson Etuhu?
November 12th, 2007
Footballâ€™s least favourite bad boy, Joey Barton, is back in hot water after attempting to castrate Dickson Etuhu during the North East derby between Sunderland and Newcastle at the weekend.
Head to Head: Roy Keane v Sam Allardyce
November 6th, 2007
Now itâ€™s time to take the gloves off by asking you to decide whoâ€™s the hardest between two heavyweight managers that you wouldnâ€™t want to meet down a dark training ground â€“ it’s one North East derby that would guarntee claret being spilt.
VOTE: Which team is most likely to break into the â€˜Big Fourâ€™ this season?
October 23rd, 2007
With Chelsea struggling to keep their stars happy while they supposedly attempt to change their style of play with an unproven manager, thereâ€™s a chance that another club could make it into the Big Four.
Is Michael Owen direspecting Newcastle Utd?
October 9th, 2007
Little Michael Owen is prepared to defy club manager Sam Allardyce by passing himself fit, against the Newcastle medical team’s advice, for England’s Euro 2008 qualifier against Estonia this Saturday. Big Sam, understandably, is unhappy with Owen’s country-above-club stance: ‘I don’t know whether two games in such a short space of time is right,’ the […]
- The Snapshot Special: Premier League weekend, 6-7 October October 8th, 2007 Arsenal
- THE VOTE Would you rather have Shay Given or Jussi Jaaskelainen in your team? October 2nd, 2007 Bolton Wanderers
- The Snapshot Special: Premier League weekend, 29-30 September October 1st, 2007 Arsenal
Should Dean Ashton take Michael Owen’s place in the England side?
September 25th, 2007
With the boy made from glass, Michael Owen, seeing a specialist about his brittle bones, the Newcastle United striker going to miss England’s crucial Euro 2008 qualifiers against Estonia and Russia next month. It’s a damn shame as he looked like he might be returning to form with some decent goals in recent weeks…
- The Snapshot Special: Premier League weekend, 22-23 September September 24th, 2007 Arsenal
The 10 ways “in form” Michael Owen will probably get injured before he can play for Newcastle…
September 14th, 2007
Poor Michael Owen has suffered more cruel injuries than a nymphomaniac hedgehog in recent times. So his electric form for England must have brought a smile to every face in Newcastle, who have still yet to see him at his best in a stripy shirt.
But is a fit Owen really too good to be true Geordies? Tragically there’s still three whole days to get through before your game against Derby, here’s what we think will probably go wrong in that time…
Carling Cup review: Michael Owen scores first competitive goal since 2005 and Man City march on
August 30th, 2007
Photo Getty Images
He’s still got it! When Little Michael Owen tucked the ball under the body of Barnsely’s keeper and into the net, it was the first time he’d scored in a competitive game since December 2005, some 20 months ago. The finish was a bit scuffed, but still, Owen thrives on goals, and this is welcome news both for Newcastle and England.
Kit Parade: Newcastle United third kit (now available with stilts)
August 30th, 2007
Kits & fashion
Newcastle’s new third kit (we will skip over the issue of why a club that barely gets any wear out of its away kit would want a third kit!) is perfect for the shorter gentleman. As you can see from this photoshoot, the Argentina-esque strip can elongate even the teeny-tiniest of footballers.
- The Snapshot Special: Premier League weekend, 25-26 August August 28th, 2007 Arsenal
Goal of the week: Obafemi Martins, Newcastle vs. Bolton
August 17th, 2007
But, the pick of the bunch so far has to be Obafemi Martin’s overhead kick for Newcastle against Bolton last Saturday. The Nigerian pocket rocket chested up a James Milner cross before unleashing a spectacular bicycle kick from close range â€“ and judging from Geremi’s face in this picture, even his team mates were astonished.
Craig Bellamy: ‘Kieron Dyer is like Nigel Reo-Coker, except he can play’
August 14th, 2007
Cheeky chappy Craig Bellamy just can’t hold his tongue. Here he is signing autographs for West Ham fans when one asks for his thoughts on Kieron Dyer (who at this stage is on the verge of a move to Upton Park). Craig the populist takes over Craig the professional, and can’t resist splurting out: “He’s like Reo-Coker, except he can play.”
Kit Parade Special: New Premier League Home Kits, Part Two & Vote
August 11th, 2007
Kits & fashion
Following yesterday’s imaginatively titled Part One, today Pies profiles the home kits of the 10 Premiership teams who would have their names called at last on the school register.
There is a hint of baseball to Citeh’s new shirt, with its rather fetching white pinstripes. Reebok are out and French brand Le Coq Sportif (currently enjoying a Lazarus-style revival) are in. Last season’s white sleeves are also ditched, and on reflection it is probably a good call. Click here to buy it from Kitbag.
Alan Shearer fake money confiscated
August 9th, 2007
Trading Standards officials have seized a number of Alan Shearer Â£20 notes from a car boot sale. Cash featuring the mugs of Mark Viduka, Nolberto Solano, Michael Owen, Steven Taylor and Kieron Dyer instead of the Queen were also taken from the sale at Blaydon Rugby Ground in Gateshead.
- Is Kieron Dyer worth Â£8million? August 6th, 2007 Newcastle Utd
5 Grand traditions ahead of the new season
August 2nd, 2007
1 The annual ‘will this be Liverpool’s year?’ discussions. It never is and this year is no exception.
2 Every pundit predicts that the three promoted teams will go straight back down. It hasn’t happened since 1998.
3 Alan Hansen maxes out his quote of Liverpool players/old boys for his Telegraph fantasy football team.
Barton in bother again after smacking someone (yawn)
August 2nd, 2007
Finish drinking your tea. You don’t want to spit it everywhere when you hear some really shocking news. You’ll never guess. Joey Barton has been charged with assault after an alleged training ground bust-up with a former team-mate. *faints*
Sam accuses Buffon of ‘common assault’
July 30th, 2007
Big Sam has accused Italy goalkeeper, Gianluigi Buffon, of common assault for a challenge that almost knocked out rookie, Andy Carroll, during yesterdayâ€™s â€˜friendlyâ€™ against Juventus.
Shit Lookalike: Michael Owen and Jason Manford
July 26th, 2007
In the same way that overweight comedian Peter Kay looks like John Oâ€™Shea we think that another out of condition comic and 8 Out of Ten Cats presenter, Jason Manford, looks like a larger than life Michael Owen.
Warren Barton and Rob Lee arrested over limousine theft
July 26th, 2007
Former England internationals Warren Barton and Rob Lee have been arrested on suspicion of taking a luxury limousine and driving it while unfit. The ex-Newcastle pair were arrested at around 11.30pm last night before being released on bail. Barton, 38, and Lee, 41, allegedly took the Mercedes E220 from a street in east London.