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Who ate all the pies

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Newcastle Utd

Newcastle United: All the latest Newcastle United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Newcastle goalkeeper Shay Given has told how he passed out in the showers at Upton Park after sustaining a bowel injury in a collision with Marlon Harewood. Given, aged 30, said: "I was stretchered off and thought it was easing. I had a shower, got hit by a pain and then passed out for nine […]

The draw for the group stages of this season’s Uefa Cup has just been made, and the remaining British clubs all face tricky assignments. Newcastle Utd have been drawn in the toughest group, Group H, along with Palermo (who demolished West Ham), Celta Vigo (solid Spanish team), Fenerbahce (always a tough place to visit) and […]

Steven Gerrard’s Top 10 Goals

September 29th, 2006

The boy can hit ‘em…

Horror Hair: Pavel Srnicek

September 28th, 2006

Newcastle United are set to revive a Premiership Horror Hair classic by re-signing former player Pavel Srnicek. The Czech goalkeeper is training with the Magpies with a view to signing a three-month deal as cover for Steve Harper while Shay Given is injured. Srnicek left the club in 1998 after Given’s arrival. He had been […]

Newcastle defender Celestine Babayaro is facing a three-match ban after the FA charged him with violent conduct for his petulant slap at Liverpool‘s Dirk Kuyt. For future reference Celestine, if you want to do something wrong you might as well do it right. This is how to do handbags properly. Learn from the masters.

It’s not easy playing behind a pub-standard defence. Shay is a rock, Shay is an island.

Last night’s Liverpool v Newcastle game will be remembered for Xabi Alonso’s wonder strike, but I don’t think the match itself will live as long in the memory as when the two clubs met in April 1996 for the first of their 4-3 thrillers. Don’t forget to check out Kevin Keegan who decided to attend […]

Wowza, what a goal – it was made easier thanks to Steve Harper slipping up in the Newcastle goal, but still, what vision from the overrated (cough) Alonso. And it’s not the first time the Spaniard has scored from inside his own half. Enjoy…

Javier Mascherano to continue his tour of unusual destinations for top players with a move to Serie B Juventus [Mirror] Craig Bellamy and Stephen Carr involved in Anfield tunnel ‘spat’ [Guardian] Leeds to move for Dennis Wise after sacking Kevin Blackwell [Mirror] Ljungberg: ‘Arsenal need to get tough’ [The Sun] Mourinho claims Chelsea match is […]

A small group of West Ham fan screamed abuse at former manager Glenn Roeder, when Newcastle played the Hammers at Upton Park on Sunday. They called him ‘Tumour Boy’ and asked ‘why didn’t you die three years ago?’ Depressing stuff. What with last night’s Panorama, the Cashley Cole/Gallas saga, the Tevez/Mascherano deal and constant reports […]

The rumours earlier this week were that Alan Shearer was ready to give up his burgeoning media career and move into football management. That was before we knew about his big break though! It seems Super Al landed a part as an extra in Coronation Street earlier this week (as spotted by the excellent Corrie […]

When it comes to wasting money on transfer fees, few clubs do it quite as well as Newcastle United. It is not easy to spend £100 million on transfer flops in less than 10 years – you wouldn’t think there was that many dodgy signings to be made. Click below to read how you do […]

What the hell is Alan singing along to? Is that U2? Answers on a postcard please…

Is Michael Owen throwing the World’s longest sickie? Is it something that he’s picked up from Jonathon ‘out with a broken eyelash’ Woodgate whilst at Real Madrid? You see, after messing his knee up, Owen has only just decide to go to the US for his operation and is set to miss most, if not […]

The Uefa Cup – does anyone care these days? Yes, if you’re team’s in with a chance of winning it. So for fans of Spurs, Newcastle, Blackburn, West Ham, Hearts, Rangers and Derry, here’s how the first-round draw looks (ties played on 14/28 Sept): Levadia Tallinn (Estonia) v Newcastle UtdMolde FK (Norway) v RangersDerry City […]

Maybe losing out on Dirk Kuyt wasn’t such a bad thing. It now seems likely that Newcastle United will land Inter’s Obafemi Martins instead. I think he’ll terrify Premier League defenders…

Tottenham may have backed down but Glenn Roeder has now admitted an interest in Inter’s Nigerian striker Obafemi Martins. There’s one thing I know about Martins: in Pro Evolution Soccer, he’s famously blessed with speed and acceleration stats of 99 (the highest you can get). Here’s a video of him in action for Inter:

Thomas Gravesen is a thug isn’t he? He used to chop Premiership players down for fun. Now in Spain, at the most famous club in the world, it would seem that he can’t catch those quick and nimble Galacticos, and is settling for a good old smack in the mouth. With Boro and Newcastle looking […]

How daft are Spurs? You try and convince everyone that you’re a big club with ambition, and then, whilst trying to land a big player (like Damien Duff), you ask a proper big club (like Chelsea) to help out with his wages. Spurs have a wage structure that is seemingly pretty strict. No-one at Spurs […]

Rumour Tuesday

July 24th, 2006

One of the most surprising bits of gossip today is the apparently successful £2.5million bid for Juan Pablo Sorin by Bolton. However, Pompey and Inter are still in the hunt for the Argentina skipper. Glenn Roeder is hopeful of signing German hitman Miroslav Klose, but fears their lack of European football next season will put […]

Newcastle United signed Damien Duff from Chelsea this weekend, on a five-year contract. Um, why? I like Duff a lot but the last thing NUFC needs is another tricky winger –  the club’s immediate priority should be to buy a world-class central defender and a world-class striker. To be fair to Glenn Roeder, I’m sure […]

Reports abound that Freddie Shepherd met David Beckham with a view to signing the former England skipper. Beckham’s ‘people’ have denied this, saying it was a coincidence that the Newcastle United chairman and Becks were spotted at Claridges Hotel at the same time. OK, fair enough – the tabloids have got to fill their back […]

Newcastle United are just eight days away from a third-round Intertoto Cup tie (contain yourself), probably against Lillestrom of Norway. Trouble is, they have no fit strikers: Alan Shearer’s retired, Michael Owen’s crocked long-term and Shola Amoebi is struggling to recover from a hip injury. That leaves… Albert Luque. Is that the sound of Jackie […]