With Chelsea struggling to keep their stars happy while they supposedly attempt to change their style of play with an unproven manager, there’s a chance that another club could make it into the Big Four.

Aston Villa 1-0 West Ham
Craig Gardner won the match for Villa, but Dean Ashton is now a doubt for England after picking up a knee injury.

David Nugent is the latest footballer to decide that sending nude pictures of himself by mobile phone is the way to stay out of trouble. Obviously jealous of the attention we gave to his former England under 21 strike partner Leroy Lita, the Portsmouth striker sent a picture of him posing naked in the bathroom to a 19-year-old shop assistant he had met on a night out.

Birmingham 0-1 Manchester United
Crissy Ronaldo (© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.

Arsenal 5-0 Derby
Emmanuel Adebayor scored a hat-trick and Cesc Fabregas stole the show as the Gunners hit top gear.

‘Arry Redknapp is renowned for his wheelin’ and dealin’ skills but even a master sometimes makes mistakes like, ‘buying the first one you see only before the end of sales bargains arrive.’

Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City
Cesc Fabregas finally found a breakthrough, despite an excellent performance from Manchester City goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel. The young Dane made a string of saves, including Robin van Persie’s 65th minute penalty.

Thanks to Pies reader Dave Sparks for notifying us of the glaring similarities between Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp and the Lion from The Wizard of Oz. The pair have similar wigs and identical droopy cheeks. I always get the characters mixed up. If I recall correctly, the Tin Man was looking for a heart and the Scarecrow wanted a brain. I think the Lion was after a bung as part of Dorothy’s controversial move to Emerald City.

Portsmouth 1-1 Manchester United
Cristiano Ronaldo grimaces after being shown a red card for violent conduct.

Following yesterday’s imaginatively titled Part One, today Pies profiles the home kits of the 10 Premiership teams who would have their names called at last on the school register.
Manchester City
There is a hint of baseball to Citeh’s new shirt, with its rather fetching white pinstripes. Reebok are out and French brand Le Coq Sportif (currently enjoying a Lazarus-style revival) are in. Last season’s white sleeves are also ditched, and on reflection it is probably a good call. Click here to buy it from Kitbag.

What started as a new regime is starting to resemble an old school reunion in Steve McLaren’s England camp. First, Becks was brought back from the brink and now it seems Sol Campbell could be making a comeback.

Welcome once again to Friendly Watch. It’s like the pre-season version of Springwatch, but with less Bill Oddie and more goals. This is possibly – unless anyone can think of another example – the first all-Premiership clash of the season. Portsmouth defeated Fulham 1-0 in the Barclays Asia Trophy with this goal from Benjani (although you are more likely to be struck by the eerily anti-Prem walking pace of the game).

As you might imagine, since the raids on Newcastle, Rangers and Portsmouth the forums and blogs have been buzzing with jokes at their expense. Here is just a small selection. Feel free to add your own as a comment.
1 Anti-corruption police have raided Newcastle United. Apparently the Magpies have no defence.

New signing David Nugent poses with a Portsmouth shirt after a press conference at Fratton Park on July 11, 2007. [Photo: Clive Rose/Getty Images]

That Harry Redknapp, he’s a canny operator and no mistake. Who’d have thought that David Nugent, a much-coveted England U-21 international, would have ended up at Fratton Park? Not Pies, that’s for sure.

Whilst reading Rob’s splendid David James hair post, I was struck by the similarity between Jamo and James Harries, the freaky antiques dealer/child prodigy who had 15 minutes of fame after appearing on Wogan in 1988, and has since changed gender to become Lauren Harries.

Well done Jamo – Portsmouth’s 0-0 draw at Aston Villa this afternoon (a deadly dull match) takes you up to 142 clean sheets, a new Premiership record. You got there in the end. Talking of clean sheets…

1 Alan Mahon, Watford v Portsmouth Hit with his weaker left foot. Hate to see what he could do with his good foot. Unstoppable.

News reaches us that Premiership chairmen are going to be forced into cutting ‘obscene’ ticket prices because fans have just about had enough of being the victims of daylight robbery every weekend, and as a result, football has reached a tipping point. Two top-flight chairmen have expressed the same view, both of whom predict price [...]

What does everyone make of the latest incident dogging Joey Barton? Man City gaffer Stuart Pearce reckons that the situation is becoming a "witch-hunt", with allegations and finger wagging come from all at Pompey. Twitcher Redknapp claimed that Barton had set out to injure Pedro Mendes in the game at Fratton Park and that anyone [...]

Fans who have experienced the thrill of an away match will know how addictive it is. The trip down, the pre-match pints in a strange pub, being in a strange ground. It’s like a holiday with a football match stuck in the middle of it! However, loads give it a wide berth because they can’t [...]

Poor old Hossam Ghaly. You play well against Portsmouth, only to be rewarded with having three of your teeth booted out. Ouch. More Spurs news this way

This has to be the oddest football story I’ve heard in ages, but England defender Glen Johnson, who plays for Portsmouth on loan from Chelsea, and Millwall striker Ben May were caught at a B&Q in Kent on Wednesday after the pair were spotted by a security guard putting a toilet seat into a box [...]

With the news that Djimi Traore has joined Portsmouth from Charlton for £1m, let’s look at the great man in action. Slightly unfair to compare him to Zizou… but funny all the same. [Mof Gimmers]

This funny incident from New Year’s Day suggests Portsmouth‘s Sean Davis isn’t convinced the contact he made with Tottenham‘s Lee Young-Pyo was forceful enough to require a swallow dive. Davis gives the South Korean a taste of his own medicine, much to the approval of the onlooking Pompey fans! [Rob Parker]