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Who ate all the pies

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Skills

Skills: This way for sweet first touches, outlandish bicycle kicks, slinky volleys and tricky dicky freestyle showboating.

Just look at Avia keeper Eduardo Martini frantically weighing up his options. He eventually settles on belting it as hard as he can, and I bet he is glad he did now. One of those bizarre kicks of the turf and a loop over the Parana keeper later, and Eduardo is a goalscoring hero.

David James, consider yourself bamboozled Like all England friendlies, last night’s match against the Czech Republic, was depressing and pointless. At least Marek Jankulovski had the decency to light up proceedings with this moment of class. Thanks Marek.

It’s happened again… What happened to the goalkeepers’ union? It’s just bad form to embarrass another goalie like this.

Rafa Benitez’s team scores narrow win in first pre-season game Stevie G and team-mates went back to school and snatched a cheeky away win against Tranmere, thanks to this sweet goal by Yossi Benayoun. Watch the goal after the jump…

Great goal, son. You’ve earnt that pie Before he became a pie-munching elk-killer Sweden’s Tomas Brolin used to score goals like this free-flowing combination of one-twos. This was the winning goal in Sweden’s 2-1 victory over England in the group stages of Euro 1992. Some would say scoring a goal against an England side managed […]

Spanish midfielder rescues win with lovely solo goal Spain beat USA 1-0 in Santander last night, thanks to this super goal by Barcelona star Xavi. The result saw Spain stretch its unbeaten run to 16 games.

Surely this spectacular volley from the Republic of Ireland’s Ronnie Whelan signalled the end of the Soviet Union. Or maybe not given that the USSR managed to draw this group game and force their way into the final. Yorkshire’s Mick McCarthy launches a long-throw in and ginger Dubliner Whelan does the rest. A Jack Charlton-era Republic of Ireland goal scored by someone born in Ireland. Priceless.

Our favourite goals from the Euro finals 1. Marco van Basten, Holland vs Russia, 1988 Pure technique, pure brilliance – and in the final too. The undisputed No.1.

La Galaxy’s David Beckham scored from 70 yards in his side’s 3-1 victory over Kansas City Wizards. The ex-England skipper fired into an empty net after WIzards keeper Kevin Hartman had gone forward for a corner to press for an equaliser. The goal was scored from further out than Beckham’s unforgettable long-range effort against Wimbledon.

God at the peak of his powers As first touches go, they don’t come much better than Fowler’s backheel nutmeg, which leaves Steve Staunton looking even more clueless than he did in his time as manager of Ireland. The finish was sweet too. When Fowler was in this form, no other English striker could touch […]

Bundesliga ‘keeper takes one to the face Borussia Dortmund’s Alex Frei hits the bar with a free-kick; Fernandez does the rest. Via FANartisch

The quality of this video is very poor, but the quality of the goal is outstanding. Arsenal’s super Swede Anders Limpar slows down to weigh up his options, spots the keeper off his line and does the business!

Throughout the season the 2 Good, 2 Bad feature on Match of the Day 2 has been good for the occasional chuckle. They rounded up their 2007-08 coverage with a compilation of some of the best bits of the season, as well as last weekend’s funny moments. It is worth watching for some true Gaydar moments involving Danny Murphy and Jimmy Bullard, and Sulley Muntari and a ref.

This spectacular goal was scored by Montgomery Town keeper Steve Goodwin in the far from prestigious Division 2 JT Hughes Montgomeryshire League. But thanks to the wonders of mobile phone technology and YouTube the goal was captured and is now available for all to see. Goodwin took a free-kick from the edge of his own penalty area which sailed over his opposite number and into the net.

Leeds United legend Eddie Gray scored this sexy goal against Burnley in 1970. At the start of the video he is on the byline and in danger of letting the ball go out for a goal kick. He then decides to start treating defenders like training ground cones on his way to goal.

Maybe it’s not forgotten, cause it didn’t happen that long ago, but it’s certainly wonderful, and I’m sure quite a few of you won’t have seen it. As a Plymouth Argyle fan, watching this hurts (Argyle sold him to Wolves)… Great bit of skill and a potent finish.

An amazing goal by King Kev against mighty Man Utd (wearing blue!) at The Dell… er, except it wasn’t. The linesman flagged for David Armstrong’s offside, thereby cruelly robbing KK of a truly wonderful strike.

What a cheeky little goal from Lee Sharpe. The main reason it is forgotten is that United only drew the match 2-2, while Barcelona won 4-0 at the Nou Camp. The Red Devils were left behind at the group stage as Barca and unlikely table-toppers IFK Goteborg progressed. I can’t wait to see these pair getting together on Wednesday night (even it is minus Lee Sharpe!).

Well, it is probably not forgotten by any Evertonians over the age of 20, but the rest of us might need to have our memories refreshed. Graeme Sharp scored this beaut for Everton against Liverpool at Anfield – which makes it just about the perfect Everton goal. Sharp brings the ball down and creates some space with one touch of his left foot before firing home with his right.

Brazilian star Diego, a reported transfer target for Chelsea, showed last year why he’s one of the most coveted players in the world. A spectacular, audacious finish from way inside his own half – even if the Aachen keeper was not in his goal, it’s still a brilliant piece of skill. More wonder goals

Stevie Gerrard-a-like, Neil Mellor, scored this scorcher against Arsenal in 2004. With the scores at 1-1, the future Preston North End striker pulled this out of the bag.

You would be delighted to pay your ticket money to witness either of these goals, but lucky Mexican fans got to see both these efforts in the game between San Luis and Pumas.Braulio Luna scored a spectacular volley from outside the area after being set up from a corner. And Tressor Malher Moreno turned brilliantly to take his chance. San Luis won the match 2-3.

Veteran defender Tomasz Hajto did something not many veteran defenders do when he scored from 60 yards. The 35-year-old, once briefly of Derby County, fired in from his own half for Górnik Zabrze in their recent match against Polonia Bytom. I can’t really imagine Sol Campbell attempting this!

As the commentator on this clip notes, you would be delighted if this came off in a training session never mind a Premier League game. David Beckham drifts a pinpoint corner to the edge of the penalty area for Scholesy to volley home with a perfect finish. Scholes himself has cited this as the best goal he has scored.