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Who ate all the pies

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Tottenham Hotspur

Tottenham Hotspur: All the latest Spurs flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

Spurs went for motorway chic with this mid-1980s kit. The design, courtesy of Danish company Hummel, features not only chevrons but also a hatched area across the chest. Dribbling round this lot must have felt like a tour of the M25. The chevrons across the middle of the shirt are very useful, but I’m sure […]

Spurs midfielder goes all Miami Vice A good look for JJ? We think not.

Monday’s most attractive transfer gossip. Surely one of these might happen? 1. Samuel Eto’o to Spurs Tottenham have outbid Italian giants AC Milan and Inter for the mouthy Barcelona striker (pictured). The Yids will go up to £24m for the Cameroon international – that’s £8m more than the Italian sides are prepared to pay. [Epping […]

Vote on which one is most likely to happen… 1. Peter Crouch to Villareal Will Crouchinho (pictured) be playing in all-yellow next season? Perhaps, if Villareal can find £15m for the English beanpole. [KopTV] 2. David Bentley to Spurs Juande Ramos is keen on bringing Blackburn’s English star to White Hart Lane, for £15m [The […]

Like some wise old schoolmaster, Pies grades each Premier League team based on their 07/08 campaign. Here’s part two: Man City (9th) Started brilliantly, finished with a whimper. Overall though, Sven-Goran Eriksson did a good job of restoring pride to the sky-blue half of Manchester. A couple of his signings were notable successes – Elano […]

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If this was based on waistline alone, the answer would be a resounding yes. But no, we are talking social networking and Myspace. There is a Tom Huddlestone MySpace, which not only features links to Pies’ videos of Huddlestone, but even includes our One to Watch profile of him!

Spurs reveal new kits I guess we can presume from this PR shot that Ledley King, Robbie Keane and Jon Woodgate will all be at Tottenham next season? No Dimi Berbatov though? Does that mean that Spurs are more than willing to offload him in the summer, at any cost? Anyway, what do you think […]

Putting the beautiful into the beautiful game… One thousand thanks to Chringle, King of the Shit Lookalikes, for sending in this cracking picture of Dimitar Berbatov. I’m not sure where he got it, or if it’s a Photoshop job, but that doesn’t stop me enjoying it. Sexy time, ees very nice!

It’s a beautiful sight for all Tottenham fans – Luka Modric, one of the most coveted midfielders in Europe, sitting in the stands at White Hart Lane. I’m still not sure how Spurs beat the likes of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Barcelona, Inter Milan, Newcastle, Man City and Bayern Munich to the signature of the Croatian […]

Liverpool must repay £31.5 million to banking institutions in little more than a year or risk having to sell Fernando Torres and Ryan Babel! Yeah, can’t see that happening. The Times Avram Grant gives the silent treatment to newspaper journalists after Chelsea’s win at Everton. Daily Mail Hicks vs Gillett, round 1,268: George Gillett issued […]

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres believes that the Primera Liga is stronger than the Premier League. “In England the top four are better than the ones in Spain, above all when it comes to consistency,” Torres told Radio Marca. “Apart from that, the rest of the teams in the Primera Liga are stronger as they have […]

1. Juande Ramos’ monopoly on the UEFA Cup is finally over, but only just. The Spurs manager has won the competition for the last two years with former club Seville and it took a penalty shoot out to prevent a possible hat trick.
2. Dimitar Berbatov scored one of the best goals of his career with a stunning volley after 80mins that sent the game into extra time against all odds – will Spurs still be able to keep hold of him next season?

On this evidence it is probably just as well that Jonathan Woodgate doesn’t find himself on the scoresheet too often. Just look at the face it makes him pull! As if by magic Tottenham’s housing expert is transformed into droopy-cheeked wheeler dealer Harry ‘Arry’ Redknapp.
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Could it be? It is so hard to tell with all that Aldi sparkling wine flying everywhere. It does seem that former Tottenham manager Martin Jol just couldn’t quite let go and move on. In fact, he seems to have invaded Spurs’ post-match celebrations at the Carling Cup final!

untitledcup.bmpChas and / or Dave have been crooning, Chelsea pensioners have been medal polishing and about 90,000 fans have been squeezed through Wembley Park’s slightly sticky tube station. Yes, after weeks of arguing on the dirty, jellied eel stinking streets of Landaaan Taan, the Carling Cup Final is upon us at last.
And for those of us who haven’t been able to make the match today, you can follow the big game right here through Chelsea Pies and Spurs Pies. If you need to rant anger about how your team are performing at Wembley, don’t just shout at the cat – shout at our writers / other Chelsea and Spurs fans. So get a cold beer, slap on the TV and enjoy a good moan about the match.
Click here to head to the Chelsea LIVE match debate, or here to follow the LIVE Spurs blog. Enjoy the game!

August 1985 Watford’s John Barnes, wearing the tightest of tight shorts, leaves a Spurs defender (any idea who it is? I guess Gary Stevens) for dead during a Division One match at White Hart Lane. Tottenham Hotspur won the match 4-0. Photo Allsport UK /Allsport Links: Spurs Pies

September 1981 Glenn Hoddle relaxes in his featureless, suburban garden with then-wife Anne (they are now divorced) in London. Gripping feature about reincarnation in Woman magazine, Glenn? Photo Allsport UK /Allsport

Some of the most interesting football stories doing the rounds today: 1. Korean players are deliberately dislocating their own shoulders to avoid national service. Ouch. The Offside 2. Sepp Blatter wants a vote on quotas for home-grown players to take place in May. Under Blatter’s proposal, club sides would be forced to field a minimum […]

Who ate all the pies? Not Tom Huddlestone, at least not these days. The Hudd has reportedly lost a stone and a half since the arrival of Juande Ramos, a loss that you can clearly see in these two pics above. The one on the left was taken in July 2007; the one on the […]

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Both strikers are playing their parts in the transfer window’s most protracted saga – Portsmouth sold Benjani to Man City to fund a deal to bring Defoe from Spurs, but it now seems that Defoe is only on loan while ‘complications’ have prevented the Zimbabwean from joining City.

79494592.jpgFootball is a team game, but it’s amazing how much of an effect one individual can have on his ten team-mates. Witness Jimmy Bullard’s match-winning performance for Fulham against Aston Villa at Craven Cottage yesterday afternoon. His return from a long-term injury has lifted everyone at the club; it’s no coincidence that Fulham struggled in Bullard’s absence.

Another dose of lookalike looniness from the warped mind of Chringle. More shit lookalikes

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West Ham 1-0 Liverpool An injury-time penalty by Mark Noble denied Liverpool a point that they didn’t deserve anyway. West Ham had the best chances, whereas Liverpool looked flat, as if their players were painfully aware that any chance of winning the league had disappeared several weeks ago. Rafa Benitez’s team are now 17 points behind both Man Utd and Arsenal. Fourth place is the best they can hope for now, and even that is no certainty.
Man of the match Mark Noble. On this form, the England U21 star must be close to a full England call-up.
Photo Getty Images

Tottenham have finally captured Alan Hutton (left) from Rangers, for a fee believed to be around £9m. That’s a lot of cash for a young defender, but if Hutton can offer Spurs the same level of reliability as great Premier League full-backs like Gary Neville and Denis Irwin, for example, then it’s a good deal […]