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Who ate all the pies

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Tottenham Hotspur

Tottenham Hotspur: All the latest Spurs flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

On this evidence it is probably just as well that Jonathan Woodgate doesn’t find himself on the scoresheet too often. Just look at the face it makes him pull! As if by magic Tottenham’s housing expert is transformed into droopy-cheeked wheeler dealer Harry ‘Arry’ Redknapp.
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Could it be? It is so hard to tell with all that Aldi sparkling wine flying everywhere. It does seem that former Tottenham manager Martin Jol just couldn’t quite let go and move on. In fact, he seems to have invaded Spurs’ post-match celebrations at the Carling Cup final!

untitledcup.bmpChas and / or Dave have been crooning, Chelsea pensioners have been medal polishing and about 90,000 fans have been squeezed through Wembley Park’s slightly sticky tube station. Yes, after weeks of arguing on the dirty, jellied eel stinking streets of Landaaan Taan, the Carling Cup Final is upon us at last.
And for those of us who haven’t been able to make the match today, you can follow the big game right here through Chelsea Pies and Spurs Pies. If you need to rant anger about how your team are performing at Wembley, don’t just shout at the cat – shout at our writers / other Chelsea and Spurs fans. So get a cold beer, slap on the TV and enjoy a good moan about the match.
Click here to head to the Chelsea LIVE match debate, or here to follow the LIVE Spurs blog. Enjoy the game!

August 1985 Watford’s John Barnes, wearing the tightest of tight shorts, leaves a Spurs defender (any idea who it is? I guess Gary Stevens) for dead during a Division One match at White Hart Lane. Tottenham Hotspur won the match 4-0. Photo Allsport UK /Allsport Links: Spurs Pies

September 1981 Glenn Hoddle relaxes in his featureless, suburban garden with then-wife Anne (they are now divorced) in London. Gripping feature about reincarnation in Woman magazine, Glenn? Photo Allsport UK /Allsport

Some of the most interesting football stories doing the rounds today: 1. Korean players are deliberately dislocating their own shoulders to avoid national service. Ouch. The Offside 2. Sepp Blatter wants a vote on quotas for home-grown players to take place in May. Under Blatter’s proposal, club sides would be forced to field a minimum […]

Who ate all the pies? Not Tom Huddlestone, at least not these days. The Hudd has reportedly lost a stone and a half since the arrival of Juande Ramos, a loss that you can clearly see in these two pics above. The one on the left was taken in July 2007; the one on the […]

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Both strikers are playing their parts in the transfer window’s most protracted saga – Portsmouth sold Benjani to Man City to fund a deal to bring Defoe from Spurs, but it now seems that Defoe is only on loan while ‘complications’ have prevented the Zimbabwean from joining City.

79494592.jpgFootball is a team game, but it’s amazing how much of an effect one individual can have on his ten team-mates. Witness Jimmy Bullard’s match-winning performance for Fulham against Aston Villa at Craven Cottage yesterday afternoon. His return from a long-term injury has lifted everyone at the club; it’s no coincidence that Fulham struggled in Bullard’s absence.

Another dose of lookalike looniness from the warped mind of Chringle. More shit lookalikes

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West Ham 1-0 Liverpool An injury-time penalty by Mark Noble denied Liverpool a point that they didn’t deserve anyway. West Ham had the best chances, whereas Liverpool looked flat, as if their players were painfully aware that any chance of winning the league had disappeared several weeks ago. Rafa Benitez’s team are now 17 points behind both Man Utd and Arsenal. Fourth place is the best they can hope for now, and even that is no certainty.
Man of the match Mark Noble. On this form, the England U21 star must be close to a full England call-up.
Photo Getty Images

Tottenham have finally captured Alan Hutton (left) from Rangers, for a fee believed to be around £9m. That’s a lot of cash for a young defender, but if Hutton can offer Spurs the same level of reliability as great Premier League full-backs like Gary Neville and Denis Irwin, for example, then it’s a good deal […]

Jonathan Woodgate looked all set to move from ‘Boro to Spurs, but it seems Arsenal may have gazumped their north-London rivals at the eleventh hour. The Guardian reports that the Gunners ‘have also agreed a fee with Middlesbrough for the England international’. Wow, I didn’t see that coming. When I heard that a third club […]

This morning’s top five football stories, condensed into one juicy post… 1. Derby County have new owners – the American-based General Sports and Entertainment group (fact of the day: their chairman, Andy Appleby, comes from a real-life Springfield). Rams’ fans will be relieved to know that the club and GSE have mutually agreed an investment […]

By Ollie Irish, Pies Ed. For all its Mickey Mouse reputation, the Carling Cup (aka League Cup, for old-school football fans) has enjoyed one of the finest weeks in its history – its stock has never been so high. Fans, managers, the media, everyone (bar Arsenal fans) seems to be taking it semi-seriously. And all […]

The Daily Balls

January 24th, 2008

This morning’s five hottest football stories, rumours and lies: 1. Middlesbrough are happy to sell injury-prone Jonathan Woodgate to Newcastle Utd or Spurs. ‘Boro will want to recoup the £7m they paid to Real Madrid though. Independent 2. Arsene Wenger has been on the phone, offering Theo Walcott to any Premier League club that can […]

Perhaps this will raise a smile on every Gooner who is suffering today…

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First up, some reaction from the big Arsenal blogs…
‘[Spurs] obviously had the momentum and once that’s going it’s hard to turn it around. They’re still an awful bunch of cockfisters though, singing that song about Arsene and throwing stuff at Cesc as he tried to take a corner. No amount of goals wins you any amount of class.’ Arseblog

Arsenal were one game away from a Wembley final, but Arsene Wenger stuck to his guns and played his ‘Carling Cup kids’ (not exactly kids, but a weaker team than he could have started with, anyway) at White Hart Lane. We all saw what happened. And, let’s face it, Spurs could have scored eight or […]

Can’t wait for the official DVD to appear. For now, this will do the job. Via 101GreatGoals

‘Herbert Chapman, Liam Brady, Charlie George, George Graham, Nigel Winterburn, Perry Groves, Nick Hornby, Pascal Cygan, Pat Rice, Arsene Wenger, Gilles Grimandi, Ian ‘Wrighty’ Wright… your boys took one hell of a beating!’ There, that had to be said. More to follow, obviously. I’ve waited almost nine years for this, and I’m gonna make the […]

It’s just a hunch I have. Put all your money on Tottenham to beat Arsenal in tonight’s second leg of their Carling Cup semi final. Seriously. I mean, the hoodoo has to end sometime, right? And tonight is about as good a chance as the Yid Army is going to get. Robin van Persie is […]

Daily Club Pies 18/01/08

January 18th, 2008

The votes are in:Gooners want Arsene Wenger to sign cover for Kolo Toure Arsenal Pies Branislav Ivanovic’s wife is not as sexy as this Chelsea Pies Steven Gerrard named in Uefa’s Team of the Year. Liverpool Pies How well would a Man Yoo Old Boys XI do in the Prem? Man Utd Pies Does Tottenham’s […]

The hottest five football stories doing the rounds this morning… 1. Kevin Keegan to be unveiled at St James’ Park today, but not in front of the Toon Army. BBC Sport 2. Rio Ferdinand: ‘I’d love to be England captain, innit. I’d merk that job.’ Sky Sports 3. Shaun Wright-Phillips and Jermain Defoe issue ‘come […]