Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

  • The Guardian loves Pies February 20th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Pop the champers kiddies because someone likes Pies. No, we’re not talking about Wigan folk, but esteemed news rag, The Guardian. The Guardian’s Guide supplement at the weekend referred to WhoAteAllThePies as "Pie ingredients include news, fiendish quizzes, strange football kits and jokes about ex-Liverpool players/loafers." Can’t grumble at that can you? Of course, you […]

  • Adrian Chiles and co get sent poo in the post February 19th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Match of the Day 2 presenter Adrian Chiles has confirmed that he is one of a number of BBC employers who have been sent soiled toilet paper in the post. According to The Sun, ‘police are investigating a string of packages posted to some of broadcasting’s best-known names since mid-January.’ Baggies fan Chiles said "I’ve […]

  • Did Craig Bellamy attack Riise with a golf club? February 19th, 2007 Liverpool

    Is Craig Bellamy the dimmest man on the face of the earth? His move to Liverpool was a slightly risky one on Rafa’s part, but we can all presume that he thought Bellamy may pull his finger out and keep his head down as his stint at Liverpool would probably be his last chance to […]

  • FA Cup Quarter Final Draw February 19th, 2007 Arsenal

    So the Quarter Final draw has been made for the FA Cup and the big guns have been kept apart once more. Middlesbrough or West Brom v Manchester United or Reading Arsenal or Blackburn v Manchester City Chelsea v Tottenham Plymouth v Watford The matches will take place on 10 and 11 March. Who do […]

  • Emre in race row again February 16th, 2007 Bolton Wanderers

    The FA are to launch a second investigation into claims that Newcastle midfielder Emre used racist language. A newspaper report today alleged the  Turkey international, who has already been charged by the FA with using racially-aggravated language during the defeat at Everton on December 30, made a comment to Bolton striker El-Hadji Diouf during a […]

  • Platini wants two refs February 15th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Michel ‘Mental’ Platini, once one of the greatest players in the universe has failed to impress me with his ideas to make football more beautiful as UEFA President. He’s already said that he’d like a limit of three Champions League places per country, and now the Frenchman has now put forward a proposal for games […]

  • England reduce friendlies February 15th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    In what seems like a move in damage limitation, England have scaled down their schedule of friendly matches from 20 to 18 over the four-year period from 2008. Steve ‘Malcolm’ McClaren had made it clear that he was in favour of scrapping some in favour of longer training camps. "I want the flexibility to be […]

  • Message to Big Sam: Oh do shut up February 15th, 2007 Arsenal

    In the wake of Bolton’s 3-1 defeat by Arsenal last night, Sam Allardyce couldn’t resist having a pop at referee Chris Foy: ‘There were three bookings in the game and somehow, Tal [Ben Haim] has picked up two of them,’ Sam said. ‘I appreciate he might have pulled Baptista back on the second occasion but […]

  • Two finalists in the LA Galaxy X Factor trial extravaganza February 15th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Remember LA Galaxy’s open trials to fund David Beckham’s wages with money paid by deluded twentysomethings attract new talent to the club? Well, as if the Beckham media circus wasn’t enough reality TV for the club they now seem to be setting up an X Factor/American Idol-style showdown. The 800 hopefuls have been whittled down […]

  • Catania suspended from stadium February 14th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Catania have been ordered to play the remainder of their home games at neutral venues this season after their Massimino stadium was shut down. Italian Judge, Gianpaolo Tosel, gave the ban and stated that the Sicilian club’s responsiblity for the violence that led to the death of policeman Filippo Raciti at the club’s derby against […]

  • Eto’o kicks up a stink and hints to Arsenal move February 14th, 2007 Arsenal

    Before I start, I’ll apologize to Football365 for blatantly pinching an article from their site. Anyway, on with the news. Samuel Eto’o is a very unhappy man. The world saw Eto’o going mental with the Spanish press after a dispute with Barca manager, Frank Rijkaard. The Dutchman has accused Eto’o of refusing to come on […]

  • QPR suspend assistant manager after brawl February 13th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    QPR’s assistant manager, Richard Hill, has been suspended "until further notice" following the brawl during a training match against China’s Olympic team. China player Zheng Tao suffered a broken jaw during the incident at QPR’s training ground on 7 February. The FA is also investigating and is "in ongoing communication with the police". Some QPR […]

  • Andrei Kanchelskis hangs up his twinkle toes February 12th, 2007 Everton

    Former Manchester United winger and all round twinkle toes Andrei Kanchelskis has decided to retire from football. Kanchelskis, now 38-years-old, said: "You need to leave at the right time. Now seems a suitable moment to begin a new chapter in my footballing life," added Kanchelskis, who will be deciding his plans in the coming weeks. […]

  • Can we hold a World Cup please? Yours, England February 12th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Now, this is sneaky. The government have spotted that our beloved English national side is so lacklustre that the only chance we’ll have of qualifying in the future is if we get through automatically as hosts. The English FA has yet to announce that it is going to bid for hosting the 2018 World Cup. […]

  • David Beckham scores on Real Madrid return February 12th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Almost inevitably, David Beckham scored on his return to the Real Madrid starting lineup following Fabio Capello’s U-turn over his prospects for the rest of the season. The Real coach went back on his vow to never play Beckham again before his move to LA Galaxy, and the change of heart paid off as the […]

  • Tottenham UEFA bye confirmed February 9th, 2007 Tottenham Hotspur

    Spurs’ bye into the last 16 of the Uefa Cup has been confirmed after Feyenoord lost their appeal against being kicked out of the competition. The Dutch club were expelled and fined £41,000 by Uefa following crowd trouble against French side Nancy in the group stage. They appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport […]

  • Beckham gets Real recall February 9th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    David Beckham has been recalled to Real Madrid’s squad for the game against Real Sociedad in La Liga on Saturday, according to Spanish national radio. Fabio Capello had previously stated that Beckham would never play for the Galacticos again after agreeing a move to LA Galaxy next season. However, Capello has been forced into a […]

  • Stan Collymore stars in BBC’s The Verdict February 9th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Former England striker Stan Collymore is one of the celebrity jurors in a mock trial to be shown on BBC Two from Sunday night. The Verdict is a four-part series which will see the jury in court and deliberating over the fictional trial of a footballer in a rape case. If that doesn’t already sound […]

  • Cristiano Ronaldo picks up a speeding fine February 7th, 2007 Man Utd

    Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo has received a £1,000 speeding fine and had six points put on his licence. The punishment came from Manchester Magistrates’ Court rather than Tottenham left-back Lee Young-Pyo, who could be forgiven for wishing Ronaldo had a speed limit on the pitch. Ronaldo, of Stockport (does that sound wrong to anyone […]

  • Italian football to restart on Sunday? February 6th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Italian football could restart on Sunday, according to Luca Pancalli, commissioner of the Italian Federation. Serie A and B clubs meet on Tuesday to discuss the government proposal of closing stadia deemed unsafe to fans. The move follows the cancellation of weekend football after a policemen was killed during clashes between fans. Pancalli said: "There […]

  • Injuries change the face of the England squad February 6th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Steve ‘Malcolm’ McClaren plans to use the 4-3-3 formation that was used against Holland in the 1-1 draw in November. However, he might have a bit of a problem with Wayne Rooney looking crocked. His other options look a bit ropey too following the withdrawal of Everton’s Andrew ‘I didn’t dive honest’ Johnson. The England […]

  • England’s new kit is rubbish February 5th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    Ladies and Gents, let Pies be the first to pass judgement on the new England home shirt. It’s shit. This really is the worst England shirt that Pies have ever seen, and can only hope that this is some terrible mistake. Surely the blind morons designers at Umbro can come up with something a bit […]

  • Italian football to be played behind closed doors? February 5th, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    The Italian Olympic Committee (CONI) is meeting the government on Monday to decide when Italian football resumes after hooligans killed an Italian policeman. All weekend matches, as well as an international against Romania, were cancelled. The meeting will take place after the funeral of Filippo Raciti, who died in the riots. The funeral of the […]

  • Tories in favour of terraces? February 1st, 2007 Transfers & Rumours

    For many, football has become a little stale since the introduction of seats. Obviously, since the introduction of all seaters stadium, football has been a lot safer, and more pleasant for families when attending matches. However, one of the major drawbacks in the lack of atmosphere. When the grounds had terraces, all the ‘singers’ would […]

  • Should Stuart Pearce take the England U21 job? January 26th, 2007 Man City

    Man City‘s gaffer, Stuart Pearce has admitted to having a "brief conversation" with the Football Association over the possibility of succeeding Peter Taylor as the manager of the England Under 21 side. On stepping down, Crystal Palace boss Taylor said: "Anybody coming in would have to commit a lot to the job." Psycho feels that […]