Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

  • Breaking News: Liverpool vs Arsenal match postponed due to fog December 19th, 2006 Arsenal Attention fans who are thinking of going to the Liverpool/Arsenal Carling Cup match tonight. The quarter-final tie is in doubt due to Anfield being shrouded in dense, thick, pea-soupy fog and a pitch inspection due at 18.15 pm…

  • England to host Germany for first match at new Wembley December 19th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours The German Football Association (DFB) have said that their national team will be England’s first opponents in the new Wembley Stadium on 22 August, in 2007. Who else thinks that seems a bit optimistic? Anyway, Germany coach Joachim Low revealed last week that the game was due to go ahead even though the Football Association had not made any announcement of the fixture. Whoops!

  • Multiplex get ‘sued’ over Wembley debacle December 18th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours With Price Harry and Wills announcing a concert for their mum, Princess Diana (deceased) at Wembley stadium, you can’t help but imagine Sir Elton John taking to the stage surrounded by men in hard hats still putting the roof on or something. Well, funny I should mention that, because the hold up has resulted in a bit of legal action.
    The Australian developer of Wembley Stadium, Multiplex, is getting…

  • Spurs to play behind closed doors and other UEFA Cup news December 15th, 2006 Blackburn Rovers

    Tottenham have been drawn against Feyenoord in the last 32 of the Uefa Cup – a repeat of the 1974 final that the Dutch side won 4-2 on aggregate, but may not be able attend the away match. The Uefa Cup game could be held behind closed doors because of possible disciplinary action against the […]

  • News Balls Special: Les Reed and Alan Curbishley are the news December 15th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Here are some extra special News Balls dedicated to Les Reed and Alan Curbishley: the men everyone is talking about, apparently! Les warns Alan Curbishley off Darren Bent Why Steven Gerrard hates Les Curbs wants to sign Nigel Reo-Coker And Curbs faces challenge to win over Paul Konchesky [Rob Parker] You have already read 4 […]

  • Premier League say no to foreign officials December 14th, 2006 Chelsea The Premier League bigwigs have ruled out the chance to use foreign referees to officiate in high profile top-flight matches. Didn’t know this could happen? Well, recently German referee Michael Weiner took charge of a Bulgarian league game between Litex Lovech and Levski Sofia.

  • FA want video to punish divers December 13th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    The FA is set to lobby Fifa for the introduction of video replays to identify and punish players guilty of diving. Football’s world governing body is set to meet in March and the FA hopes to raise the issue then. “We’ve already asked Fifa to allow retrospective…

  • Curbs new Hammers boss December 13th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours Well, with alarming predictability, Alan Curbishley has been unveiled as the new manager of West Ham United. Chairman Egg’ Magnusson moved sharply to appoint the former Charlton gaffer after sacking Alan Pardew on Monday. “I’m deeply delighted,” said Curbishley. “It’s a privilege to be here and I’m looking forward to lifting us out of the position we’re in.” Curbishley will take charge of his new squad for the first time against Manchester United on Sunday. Welcome to the deep end Alan…

  • Titus Bramble in big fat freak leg shocker! December 13th, 2006 Newcastle Utd Newcastle United ditherer Glenn Roeder has revealed that the Titus Bramble has spent eight days in hospital after an alarming flare-up in his injured calf. The 25-year-old’s lower leg swelled to twice its normal size days after he picked up a knock during the 0-0 UEFA Cup draw with Eintracht Frankfurt.

  • Trouble brews as Everton look to move away from Goodison December 12th, 2006 Everton The Everton chief exec’ Keith Wyness has spoken in an attempt to calm fans’ fears over plans to move to a new stadium out of Liverpool. The Merseyside club are currently in talks about relocating to Kirkby but Wyness told BBC Five Live the fans’ concerns about moving out of Liverpool would be considered. He added: “This option is a good one, in terms of transport links and the financial package, and it’s something we thought we must explore further. But redeveloping Goodison Park may well be the way ahead in the end.”…

  • Alan Pardew: sacked December 11th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. West Ham have announced that they will make a statement regarding the future of boss Alan Pardew at 2.15pm (GMT) on Monday. The Hammers have struggled all season and are currently in 18th place in the Premiership following Saturday’s 4-0 annihilation at the hands of Bolton Wanderers…

  • Saints go after Pressley December 11th, 2006 Bolton Wanderers Heart of Midlothian is without doubt, the most bonkers club in Europe at the minute. With the insane ramblings of chairman Vladimir Romanov (click here and here for examples), they’ve managed to retain the mental one, and lose one of their best players, club captain Stephen Pressley…

  • Jewell says “legalise diving” December 6th, 2006 Liverpool Wigan gaffer Paul Jewell has spoken out on the subject of diving admitting he would legalise it. What? Can that be right? Anyway, with everyone talking about ‘simulation’ at the moment after ManYoo’s Cristiano Ronaldo went tumbling through the air like a gunned duck and subsequently incurred the bile virtually everyone under…

  • Sepp Blatter’s super summer leagues December 5th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    FIFA president and self-appointed spiritual leader of football, Sepp Blatter, has proposed scrapping the traditional football calendar in favour of a summer season running from February to November. Blatter announced the plans for a uniform European football season in an interview with German magazine Kicker. He said: "The season should run from the end of […]

  • Barrow James Cotterill admits FA Cup punch November 30th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Barrow defender James Cotterill has pleaded guilty to causing grevious bodily to Bristol Rovers‘ Sean Rigg during an FA Cup match. Rigg was left with a double fracture of the jaw after being punched by Cotterill in an off-the-ball incident. Cotterill admitted the charge at Barrow Magistrates Court. He will be sentenced at Lancaster Crown […]

  • Brown and Silvestre to exit Old Trafford? November 29th, 2006 Newcastle Utd

    Manchester United defenders Wes Brown and Mikael Silvestre are considering their futures at Old Trafford, according to The Sun. The form of January signings Nemanja Vidic (who has been, let’s be honest here, immense) and Patrice Evra plus Gabriel Heinze’s return after injury, have left Brown and Silvestre on the fringes of Sir Alex Ferguson’s […]

  • Reebok? MY pitch says Jose. November 28th, 2006 Bolton Wanderers

    Chelsea gaffer, Jose Mourinho is hoping the sacrifice of staying in the north this week will result in another campaign-defining victory at Bolton. Mourinho’s side have virtually won the title twice at the Reebok and this time, the The Oilers will go into the game knowing three points on Wednesday evening could haul them level […]

  • Tevez says “Sorry” (or whatever the Spanish equivalent is) November 27th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    West Ham’s Carlos Tevez has said he is sorry for his huge hissy fit that saw him stropping out of Upton Park after he was substituted at the weekend. The Argentine striker was keen to make amends for reacting angrily during the 1-0 win against Sheffield United. He said: "I know I did very wrong […]

  • Blatter rules out video replays November 27th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours,,1610642_4,00.jpg FIFA president Sepp Blatter (pictured left showing off his footballing skills) has all but ruled out the introduction of video replays saying he would never allow matches to be halted as long as he remained the most powerful figure in world football. Whether he actually said that he was the most powerful figure in world football is debatable. Anyway…

  • Graham Poll given a rest November 24th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Graham ‘F**king’ Poll has been taken out of the Premiership spotlight to protect him from press scrutiny, according to reports. The official line is that Poll is on annual leave, but the Daily Mail (a reputable source of course) claims that Poll has been prevented from refereeing this weekend and during next week’s busy midweek […]

  • Cricketers still playing footy? November 23rd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    So, as you mental cricket fas are watching our lads get the living crap kicked out of them by Ricky Ponting in the Ashes, it would seem that our England boys could do with an eagle-eyed fielder to throw down his stumps. Sadly, Gary Pratt, the bloke who achieved cult hero status in 2005 by […]

  • Barrow’s James Cotterill charged with GBH over on-field punch November 23rd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Barrow defender James Cotterill has been charged with grevious bodily harm for allegedly fracturing the jaw of Bristol Rovers striker Sean Rigg during an FA Cup first round clash. Cotterill is accused of punching Rigg in an off-the-ball incident which was missed by the referee but caught by BBC Match of the Day cameras. A […]

  • The World Cups for countries that don’t exist November 22nd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    There are currently a couple of tournaments underway masquerading as the World Cup for countries that don’t actually exist. The VIVA World Cup is supposedly the official, unofficial World Cup, but it is nigh on impossible to get any news on the tournament and only four teams are competing (hosts Monaco, South Cameroons, Sami and […]

  • Should Southgate be allowed to continue as Boro manager? November 22nd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours Middlesbrough boss Gareth Southgate has admitted that he will be a relieved man when his future is decided at a Premier League board meeting on Wednesday. This meeting will decide whether to extend the 36-year-old’s three-month dispensation to manage without the required qualifications. Southgate told…

  • Uruguayan amputee Dario Silva wants to row at London 2012 Olympics November 22nd, 2006 Portsmouth

    Former Portsmouth striker Dario Silva has announced he hopes to compete as a rower at the 2012 Olympics despite having a leg amputation in September. The ex-Uruguay international lost part of his right leg in a car crash, but is hopeful of competing at the London games. He said: "I have a lot of free […]