Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

  • Hammers accept £85million takeover bid November 21st, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    West Ham have announced they have accepted Eggert Magnusson’s £85m takeover bid for the club. Magnusson’s consortium have secured agreements to buy 83% of shares and the Hammers’ board have recommended the offer to remaining shareholders. The Icelander will replace Terry Brown as the chairman at Upton Park, although Brown will stay on at Upton […]

  • Strachan shoots down English Premiership November 21st, 2006 Transfers & Rumours Wee Gordon Strachan believes that the difference between the SPL and the English Premiership is minimal. Strachan sees his runaway league leaders take on Premiership leaders Man United tonight at Celtic Park and has heightened the pressure before the game by deriding the claims that the English league is the best in the world…

  • Hearts fans stage protest November 20th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours Hearts fans are understandably angry at the situation surrounding their club. On Saturday, they staged a protest aimed at daft-as-a-brush owner, Vladimir Romanov after the 1-0 defeat to Rangers. The Jambos chairman remained at his Lithuanian base instead of making the trip to…

  • Wembley nearly sent the FA under November 17th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours What a surprise. Wembley Stadium (remember that?) nearly brought English football to its knees when it was revealed that the problems surrounding the stadium brought its operating company to the brink of a collapse that would have dragged the FA down with it, according to the FA’s latest accounts…

  • NEWSFLASH Gerrard to be played in preferred position November 17th, 2006 Liverpool Get ready to pick yourself up from the floor. The fat Spanish waiter that is Rafa Benitez is ready to play the world’s best central midfielder in… gulp… centre midfield…

  • Reading Players Recieve Death Threats November 16th, 2006 Chelsea

    Police are investigating death threats which have been made to the Reading players who were involved in the two incidents that saw Chelsea keepers Petr Cech and Carlo Cudicini badly injured. In the aftermath of the incidents, Ibrahima Sonko and Stephen Hunt have received numerous threatening letters at the club’s Arborfield training ground. Thames Valley […]

  • Macclesfield pranksters halt FA Cup match November 15th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours Something very odd happened in Macclesfield the other night. During their FA Cup game against Walsall, it started to rain. Instead of the usual North West downpour of water, it rained footballs. Loads of them. Pranksters…

  • Lord Stevens to name innocent clubs? November 9th, 2006 Arsenal

    Lord Stevens is being urged to name innocent clubs today that are not involved in his bungs investigation. Several club chairmen will put their case at a meeting today, arguing that their clubs have been tainted by accusations after Lord Stevens announced that there were a total of eight clubs and 39 deals under investigation. […]

  • FA to investigate betting claims November 9th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Oh look! Another scandal involving football managers! This time it involves betting. The FA is all set to investigate allegations that several Premiership managers have laid bets on top-flight matches. The claims were made by a former employee of bookmakers Victor Chandler. "We will see if there has been any breach of our regulations and […]

  • Gazza accused of assaulting and racially abusing a photographer November 8th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    This photograph of Gazza was taken shortly before his arrest on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm. I think it is fair to say he was looking worse for wear at the time. Eyewitnesses claim that the 39-year-old racially abused a black photographer and punched another photographer outside the Boujis nightclub, Kensington. He was later […]

  • Beckham goes under after being dropped November 8th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours David Beckham apparently suffered from ‘psychological difficulties’ after being dropped by Steve McClaren… so reckons Real Madrid manager Fabio Capello. The former ManYoo player resigned as England captain after the World Cup in Germany before being axed from the squad after McClaren succeeded Sven-Goran Eriksson as England manager…

  • Glenn Roeder moans at fixture pile up November 3rd, 2006 Newcastle Utd

    Glenn ‘Boo Hoo Hoo’ Roeder is whining again. He’s hit out at a fixture list which has left his Magpies facing three matches in six days. Newcastle are set to meet Sheffield United on Saturday, two days after facing Palermo in the Uefa Cup, then travel to Watford on Tuesday for a Carling Cup tie. […]

  • Neil Redfearn reaches 1000 games November 3rd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Neil Redfearn is set to step out for his 1000th game this weekend. The incredible journey started off in 1982 at Bolton Wanderers where he made his debut as a 17 year old, and will hit the milestone at Bradford Park Avenue who ply their trade in the Unibond League’s Division One. His 1000th game […]

  • UEFA want more protection for referees November 2nd, 2006 Chelsea

    UEFA want a clampdown on the rising level of intimidation towards match officials.The footballing body reaction comes after the ‘Battle of Barcelona’ nearly ended up in disarray and complete anarchy on Tuesday night.
    Outraged at the repeated sight of both sets of players…

  • Premier League introduce new regulations for Agents November 2nd, 2006 Transfers & Rumours Premier League top cheese, Richard Scudamore, is hoping that new regulations regarding (those scumbag) agents are pushed through in time for the January transfer window. The league is in serious talks with the FA about introducing some new laws where clubs cannot pay agents…

  • Sven Goran Eriksson throws a dummy to Tyneside before heading to Nigeria November 1st, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    The fascination with Sven Goran Eriksson‘s next managerial job has taken a twist after he was linked with the Nigeria national team job. Assistant Tord Grip let slip on Swedish radio that Sven had been in talks with the Nigerian FA. Talking about a meeting 10 days ago, Grip said: "I don’t know exactly what […]

  • Arsene warns against arrogance October 31st, 2006 Arsenal Arsene Wenger has warned his Arsenal boys against displaying the ‘arrogance’ they showed when they played against CSKA Moscow in the Champions League. The arrogance which he speaks of is the result of…

  • Kieron Dyer is out again after a ‘freak’ eye injury October 27th, 2006 Newcastle Utd

    Newcastle‘s comeback kid Kieron Dyer is injured again after maked a 30 minute comeback against Portsmouth in the Carling Cup on Wednesday night. Dyer’s notorious groins and hamstrings are still intact, but the midfielder is now facing at least two weeks on the sidelines after picking up an injury to his left eye. Rumours that […]

  • Another club wants Titus Bramble! October 24th, 2006 Newcastle Utd

    BREAKING NEWS Ipswich Town is interested in signing Titus Bramble. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play […]

  • Happy 21st Birthday to Wayne Rooney October 24th, 2006 Man Utd

    Everyone’s favourite Malcolm Glazer impersonator, Wayne Rooney, turns 21 today. It is easy to forget England and Manchester United‘s hoover-loving talisman is still so young. Quite what you buy the 21-year-old who has everything, I’m not sure (who said an ageing prostitute?). The Times has instead opted to point out 21 reasons why Rooney should […]

  • Knighthood for ‘Sir’ David Beckham? October 20th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    David Beckham is set to be knighted in January, according to the Daily Express. The former England skipper could be in line for the honour for services to football and for the role he played in securing the 2012 Olympics for London. Surely a place in the Real Madrid starting line-up would be guaranteed if […]

  • Reading’s Stephen Hunt and Ibrahima Sonko won’t face FA disciplinary action for their part in the Cech/Cudicini injuries October 19th, 2006 Chelsea

    BREAKING NEWS: The FA has confirmed that no disciplinary action will arise after Sunday’s incredible Reading v Chelsea Premiership match, in which two Chelsea goalkeepers (Petr Cech and Carlo Cudicini) were hospitalised. An FA statement said: ‘The FA has reviewed the incidents involving Stephen Hunt/Petr Cech and Ibrahima Sonko/Carlo Cudicini and has contacted referee Mike […]

  • Rumour Tuesday: Arsenal and Manchester United in the hunt for Huntelaar October 17th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Arsenal join the orderly queue forming behind one Sir Alex Ferguson for a sniff of Klaas-Jan Huntelaar [Sporting Life] Fulham plot a move for American World Cup star / rapper Clint Dempsey [Mirror] Duncan Disorderly fancies a move to Oz with Perth Glory [Mirror] Sheffield United, Blackburn and Manchester City in the hunt for Paraguay’s […]

  • Roman Abramovich to face £5.5bn divorce battle? October 16th, 2006 Chelsea

    The News of the Screws ran an interesting story yesterday on the state of Roman Abramovich‘s marriage. If what they say is true (and there’s no guarantee of that), things look pretty bad for Roman, who could lose half of his dosh in a divorce settlement. His wife, Irina (pictured, left), has reportedly called in […]

  • News Balls: Wembley will be completed soon (allegedly) October 16th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    Wembley will be ready for 2007 FA Cup final. I’ll believe it when I see it [Telegraph] Manchester City read to pounce for Crewe youngster Billy Jones [Mirror] It’s exodus at Gresty Road. Late bloomer Luke Varney will follow Jones out of the door and head for Portsmouth, Aston Villa or Southampton [Clubcall] Liverpool and […]