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Who ate all the pies

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

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And so, after a mighty slog of a season, we now know the champions in each of English football’s top four divisions:

74016235.jpgLeeds United have been relegated to League One after being deducted 10 points for going into administration. The 10-point deduction means Leeds will finish the season bottom of the Championship, below Southend and Luton, the other two relegated clubs.
On the positive side, Leeds will not lose any points for the start of their first season in League One. Administrator KPMG has already agreed to sell the club to a newly-formed company led by chairman Ken Bates.

_40869776_davewhelan203.jpgWigan chairman Dave Whelan says he may sue West Ham United in the wake of the Tevezcherano incident. The Hammers were fined £5.5m but not deducted points after being accused of acting improperly over the transfers.

JoseReinaPA_175x125.jpgWhile Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina was successfully defending his goal against Chelsea last night there was sadly nobody to guard his house. The Spaniard returned from celebrating his match-winning shoot-out saves at 12.45am to find that his home in Woolton, Liverpool, had been raided.

73577019.jpgMan City have finally lost patience with Joey Barton. The club will unload the outspoken, bottom-baring troublemaker because, frankly, he’s more trouble than he’s worth – and right now, purely as a footballing asset, he’s worth quite a lot to City.

74038634.gifAccording to the Daily Mail, Man U’s boss was the intended victim of a hoax anthrax attack. A letter addressed to Fergie arrived in the post at United’s Carrington training ground yesterday morning. As the manager’s personal assistant opened the letter a cloud of white powder burst out of the envelope. Inside the envelope staff discovered a note which read: ‘Why did you open this letter you silly b*****d? You’ll be dead in 20 minutes.’

74015016.jpgI can hardly bring myself to type up the news of yet another round of Jose Mourinho vs Alex Ferguson, but this one is too good not to post. Fergie has rounded on Jose after the Chelsea boss took another pop at Cristiano Ronaldo. Mourinho/Arrogantio accused Ronaldo of being uneducated because he came from working-class family in Madeira, Portugal.

_39822625_barton_emp245x300.jpgAccording to the BBC, Man City’s chief arse Joey Barton has been suspended for the rest of the season for striking team-mate Ousmane Dabo during a training session. Dabo, a French midfielder signed from Lazio in 2006, reportedly had to go to hospital with mouth injuries.

In my review of Reading v Newcastle, I totally forgot to mention the best incident of the evening, namely the moment when ref Mike Riley sent off Reading mascot Kingsley in the first half (a massive cuddly lion who wears a Reading home kit). Apparently, Riley was confused by the presence of Kingsley. Steve Coppell joked: ‘I can see where the referee was getting confused, you know he does look like so many of my players.’ Perhaps this video helps explain Riley’s decision:

The Beckhams have ended their mansion-hunting by purchasing a property in Los Angeles. The couple bought the six bedroom house in the legendarily upmarket Beverly Hills area. The Italian-style villa reportedly cost £11 million, which begs the question: what will Becks spend next week’s wages on? The house – dubbed Beckingham Palace West – also […]

Blatter_33451e.jpgEngland could be in line to host the World Cup in 2010 if South Africa cannot get the necessary infrastructure ready in time. FIFA president Sepp Blagger erm… Blatter has confirmed that England are being considered as potential replacements along with the United States, Mexico, Japan and Spain.

Former France and Manchester United goalkeeper Fabien Barthez has quit Nantes after being attacked by a fan while driving away from the ground at the weekend. Barthez’s car was kicked as he left the stadium following a 0-2 defeat to Rennes.

73488526.jpgFrom Big Sam to Little Sam in one complicated move…

The FA is to launch an investigation into the disgraceful scenes at the end of Leeds United’s match at home to Ipswich on Saturday. A late equaliser for the Tractor Boys left Leeds all but mathematically relegated sparking a pitch invasion involving several hundred fans.

73517113.jpgThierry Henry says he’ll stay at Arsenal if Arsene Wenger stays too. Good to see a bit of loyalty in football these days. [BBC]

It’s not National David Beckham Day, although I am sure he will be disappointed to hear it, but there is a fair bit of Becks news today. Aside from his new hair, a 17-year-old Beckham fan has been fined £2,000 for running onto the pitch at the Bernabeu Stadium to give the Real Madrid star […]

73835226.jpgYes, you did read that right and it’s not something I thought I’d ever write. Arsene Wenger thinks his arch rival Alex Ferguson should be manager of the year: ‘I feel this year Sir Alex Ferguson, because he’s in a position to fight on every front,’ Wenger told www.leaguemanagers.com. ‘…And Steve Coppell, who is in a position where nobody expected him to be and he has a team who do not play negatively – they have a positive attitude everywhere they go.’

Alien-Motiontracker.jpgA few transfer bits and bobs doing the rounds today…

larkswoodspark_sm.jpgThe council for the area David Beckham grew up in has introduced a tourist route to show visitors various Beckham-related ‘landmarks’. Waltham Forest Council has created the David Beckham Trail, which takes in sites as impressive as the hospital in which Becks was born, his old schools and Walthamstow greyhound stadium where the young Beckham worked as a glass collector.

Alan Ball, the youngest member of England’s 1966 World Cup-winning team, has died of a heart attack aged 61. The former Blackpool, Everton, Arsenal and Southampton midfielder won 72 caps for hs country. Ball also took charge of seven clubs in a managerial career spanning almost 20 years. His most recent post was as Portsmouth […]

0%2C%2C2007181679%2C00.jpgAtletico Madrid captain Fernando Torres, reportedly a summer transfer target for Man Utd, wears an armband with ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ inscribed on the inside – the armband came loose during Atletico’s 2-0 defeat away to Real Sociedad at the weekend.

essien_michael_cfc_profile_2006.jpgMichael Essien was arrested for drink-driving as he left a nightclub at 5am yesterday. The Chelsea midfielder/defender/goalie/physio etc. was driving his black Range Rover when he was stopped by police. Essien was breathalysed on the spot and nicked when the result proved positive. He was held for several hours then freed on bail at 10am. He must report back to police in July.

Inter romp to Serie A title

April 23rd, 2007

Celtic wrapped up the SPL on Sunday but they weren’t the only team in Europe to win a league title at the weekend. Inter won their second Serie A title in a row (and 15th overall), thanks to a 2-1 at Siena (both goals scored by panto villain Marco Materazzi). Second-place Roma lost at Atalanta, gifting the title to Milan’s blue-and-black half. Inter’s lead at the top of the table is now an unassailable 16 points.

John Barnes… Chris Waddle… Gazza… and now Didier Drogba. News reaches us from The Sun that P Diddier is set to release a rap album under the (crap) alias Drogbacite. DD said: ‘Drogbacite is about me and my success.’ Well, he certainly has the ego to make it in the rap game.