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Who ate all the pies

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

A lovely instinctive strike from Kolo’s younger brother, signed by Barca this summer for a reported fee of €10m. On this evidence, they have picked up a bargain.

76403333.jpgGoals by David Bentley (pictured) and Jason Roberts helped Blackburn overcome a resilient MyPa to reach the first round of the Uefa Cup. MyPa keeper Janne Korhonen played a blinder, otherwise Rovers might have won by four or five.
‘We have got the job done and I am delighted we have progressed,’ said Rovers manager Mark Hughes. ‘That was the aim but fair play to MyPa they worked extremely hard and kept going until the end.’

Click below to read our live blog of the draw:

Ole Solskjaer is hanging up his deadly boots, Wayne Rooney is out injured (although he’s reportedly recovering faster than expected), Alan Smith and Guiseppe Rossi have moved on, Louis Saha’s body can’t be trusted, Carlos Tevez is settling in…

There’s always a hint of ‘desperate boyfriend looking for a half-decent present at the 24-hour garage for his missus on Christmas Eve’ about Premier League managers at this time of the season. Panic sets in – do I have a strong enough squad to survive the season, or until January at least? Here, according to […]

So there are six (count ’em!) clubs in the group stages of this season’s Champions League: the big four in England, plus Celtic and Rangers. The English clubs can’t meet each other, because they are all amongst the top eight seeds, but there’s a very strong chance that we’ll see another so-called ‘Battle of Britain’, […]

A girl writes a message in memory of Sevilla player Antonio Puerta on the outside of the Sanchez Pizjuan stadium on August 29, 2007 in Sevilla, Spain. Puerta, a 22-year-old Sevilla player, died on August 28 after suffering a heart attack during his team’s Liga match against Getafe in Sevilla. The message reads ‘See you soon Puerta, always in the hearts of Real Betis and especially Sevilla fans’.
Photo Denis Doyle/Getty Images

Photo Getty Images
He’s still got it! When Little Michael Owen tucked the ball under the body of Barnsely’s keeper and into the net, it was the first time he’d scored in a competitive game since December 2005, some 20 months ago. The finish was a bit scuffed, but still, Owen thrives on goals, and this is welcome news both for Newcastle and England.

So David Beckham missed out on picking up his first trophy Stateside. Instead, he picked up a potentially serious knee injury, which may jeopardise his involvement in England’s Euro 2008 qualifiers in September. Doh! says Steve McClaren and the rest of us.

Barca thumped Internazionale (who had rested several stars, including Zlatan) to win their annual Joan Gamper Trophy. Inter deserved to lose for bringing a weakened team to the Camp Nou.
With Messi, Henry, Ronaldinho and Eto’o to call on, Barca’s attack is shaping up to be, well, scarily good – and don’t forget Mexican wonderkid Gio dos Santos, who has just earned Spanish citizenship (as has Ronaldinho). Gio made mincemeat of Inter’s defence, and this could be his breakthrough season. Yaya Toure, Kolo’s little bro, also scored this belter:

Photo Getty Images Smiles all round at the Emirates, as Arsenal breezed past a distinctly average Praha side. Eduardo da Silva (seen here being shown position one of the Kama Sutra by team-mate Emmanuel Adebayor) scored for the first time this season, to add to earlier goals by Tomas Rosicky and Cesc Fabregas, and looked […]

75447801.jpg‘Arry Redknapp is renowned for his wheelin’ and dealin’ skills but even a master sometimes makes mistakes like, ‘buying the first one you see only before the end of sales bargains arrive.’

72956219.jpgHe might not have made much of an impact at Arsenal during a foreign exchange loan deal for Reyes last season, but The Beast could be back in the Premier League.

Ole brings the ball under control during a Champions League match against Fenerbahce in 1996. Photo Clive Brunskill/Allsport

73757653.jpgHe’s gone from the country’s most expensive signing to a misfiring misfit who’s struggling to command a transfer fee, but Andriy Shevchenko still has his admirers.

72940195.jpgApparently, Andy Cole is on the verge of signing for Sunderland after Harry Redknapp agreed to release the 35 year-old from the last two years (!?) of his Portsmouth contract.

Real Madrid new signings Arjen Robben and Gabriel Heinze are presented at the Bernabeu stadium on August 23, 2007 in Madrid, Spain. Photo Jasper Juinen/Getty Images With Robben and Heinze on board, Madrid now have one strong-looking squad – consider that this summer they have also signed Dutch wonderkid Royston Drenthe, German centre-half Christoph Metzelder, […]

Chase me, chase me, chase me! … oh, they’ve buggered off. Sevilla, the little teases, have apparently failed in their bid to get Roman Abramovich to part with almost £25m for a right-back/Star Trek character. They should really have accepted Chelsea’s reported bid of £21.5m, which is still way over the odds for Alves, who is very good, but not that good.

rwc.gifThat’s right, folks – Scrumbag is back, it’s on the protein powder and it’s fired up.

Free Gabriel Heinze t-shirt

August 21st, 2007

Gabriel Heinze’s attempts to move from Manchester United to Liverpool are expected to be settled by a Premier League arbitration panel later today. This should provide a speedy resolution to the situation, just ask Heinze’s new team-mate and compatriot Carlos Tevez!

sven%20mobile.jpgA student has been receiving good luck messages and player offers intended for Sven Goran Eriksson. Christina Tambaros was assigned the number used by Eriksson when he was England boss after he quit last year. The 17-year-old received messages from former Charlton boss Les Reed and PFA chairman Gordon Taylor, and an offer to take Inter Milan midfielder Aparecido Rodrigues Cesar on a free transfer from his agent.

_42023998_keane300.jpgOur question asking whether footballers are under the thumb seems to have been answered by that eternal fountain of testosterone himself, Roy Keane.

75961861.jpgThailand’s Supreme Court has issued a warrant for the arrest of ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, and Manchester City chairman, on corruption charges. Shinawatra failed to attend court in Bangkok as the court was to hear the first of a series of cases being brought against the former leader, who was ousted in a military coup last year…

neilmcdonald.jpgUnbelievable. Only one game into the new season, and Carlisle have already decided to part company with their manager Neil McDonald. McDonald…