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Who ate all the pies

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

a%2520schuster-thumb.jpgFormer German international Bernd Schuster is the latest man to be handed the poisoned chalice that is the Real Madrid coach’s job. The 48-year-old has left mid-table Getafe to take over at the Bernabeu, where winning the league gets you the sack.

whu_1164106448_chairman1.jpgIt’ could be a tale of two chairmen if Carlos Tevez completes a move to Man Yoo later today – apparently he’s completing a medical in Venezuela in a deal that could eventually be worth more than £30m.

ZidMat.jpgItalian World Cup winner Marco Materazzi has begun legal proceedings against three British papers he claims libelled him after the 2006 World Cup final. The Inter Milan centre-back is seeking damages from The Sun, Daily Star and Daily Mail over their reports of insults he made to Zinedine Zidane.

tevez3.jpgDamn, why can’t a football transfer be as simple as ‘You pay us what we want for this player and he gets to wear your shirt…’?

Asamoah.jpgAsamoah Gyan – the Ghana striker who made a big impression at the 2006 World Cup – is the latest footballer to be tempted into the recording studio. The Udinese player has recorded a track for the new album of Castro, dubbed ‘Ghana’s 50 Cent’.

pic534.jpgFootball’s hottest rumour of the day is that Man Utd are closing in on the signing of Carlos Tevez. BBC sports editor Mihir Bose ‘understands talks are underway and says Tevez may move on loan or permanently’.

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Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez (nice goatee beard, Rafa) unveils new signing Fernando Torres at a press conference held at Anfield on July 4, 2007. [Photo: Gary M. Prior/Getty Images]

baldronaldo.jpgManchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo has challenged his manager Sir Alex Ferguson to another goalscoring bet which would see one of the pair lose their hair at the end of the season. The Portuguese winger won £400 on a bet with Fergie last season after beating a 15-goal target. This season he wants another hair-raising bet and wants to see Fergie parting with his side-parting if he bags more than 20 goals.

He may be revered as ‘God’ in Scouse circles, but it seems not everyone has as much faith in Robbie Fowler anymore. Liverpool’s favourite prodigal son looks set to start the season homeless after not receiving any offers from another club for the first time in his career. The Liverpool striker has been released after […]

Scotland and Cardiff striker Steven Thompson is facing up to six months on the sidelines after falling off a banana boat while on holiday. The 28-year-old former Rangers striker had an operation yesterday after the incident in the USA.

Riquelme.jpgEverton have been forced into an embarrassing backtrack after their website mistakenly announced that the club had signed Argentinian star Juan Roman Riquelme. The article was supposed to be test data for a new website but it was accidentally published yesterday. The ‘news’ broke at 11.30am yesterday and was online for about an hour before the error was spotted. By that time internet forums had been flooded by messages from excited Evertonians.

Fernando Torres is due to fly into Liverpool Airport today and undergo a medical before sealing a £27m transfer to Liverpool, from Atletico Madrid. The 23-year-old striker has cut short his summer holiday to ensure the move goes ahead without delay. As part of the deal, the two clubs have also agreed for Luis García […]

da%20Silva.jpgArsenal have made their first attempt to replace Thierry Henry by snapping up Croatia striker Eduardo da Silva from Dinamo Zagreb for an undisclosed fee. You will probably best remember the 24-year-old as the player – other than Gary Neville – who scored in Croatia’s victory over England in the Euro 2008 qualifier last October.

dec.jpgTV presenter Declan Donnelly is reported to be a shock transfer target for LA Galaxy. David Beckham’s new club have reportedly invited the shorter half of the Ant and Dec presenting duo for trials after he impressed them with his finishing during a kickabout for Robbie Williams’ LA Vale celebrity side.

Tevez.jpgCarlos Tevez has apparently turned down Inter Milan after the Serie A champions attempted to play hardball by imposing a deadline for him to make a decision – suggesting he could yet stay in the Premiership.

It looks like Darren Bent is off to White Hart Lane, for around £17m – yes, because he is worth more than Thierry Henry. If the move goes ahead, then the soon-to-be-ex-Charlton striker will have to fight Robbie Keane, Fat Mido and possibly Jermain Defoe for the right to partner Dimitar Berbatov up front. (Although […]

2868c0c08e0203aa72268c4ec2990e1c_extras_albumes_0.jpgWhat is it with Real Madrid and successful managers? Real sacked Vicente del Bosque in 2004, after he had steered the club to two Champions League titles, two league titles, a Spanish Supercup, a European Supercup and an Intercontinental Cup. Del Bosque was probably the unluckiest manager to lose his job in football history. And German Jupp Heynckes was sacked after guiding Real to the Champions League crown in 1998.

Coleman%2C%20Chris.JPGUntil now if you had told Pies that Chris Coleman had an interest in Basques we would have envisaged the ex-Fulham boss creeping round Ann Summers trying not to draw too much attention to himself. But – perhaps even more shocking than that image – it seems the Welsh whinger is being primed for a return to management at recently relegated Spanish side Real Sociedad.

430514_MEDIUMSQUARE.jpgJust when we thought that the purse strings to Roman’s rubles had been tied closed with all the endeavour of an over enthusiastic boy scout, Chelsea actually look set to spend some money.

Newcastle move for Geremi

June 27th, 2007

geremi.jpgChelsea utility man Geremi is the latest player Sam Allardyce would like to spend some of Mike Ashley’s millions on [that's on wages and signing-on fees before some smart arse points out he is available on a free transfer!] . The Cameroon international is known to be eager to find more regular first-team action than he has been getting at Stamford Bridge.

Di%20Michele.jpgSummer just ain’t summer any more without a bit of Italian football scandal. And there is plenty going on at the moment. Four players, including Italian international David di Michele, have been charged with illegal betting. The Palermo player, along with Atalanta’s Thomas Manfredini and Vicenza’s Massimo Margiotta, is accused of betting ‘directly or through third parties, on the results of official matches organised by the FIGC.’

crown.jpgLeague Two outfit Accrington Stanley might be one of the few Football League clubs who won’t mind too much if their fans turn up to games paralytic – it will help to pay the players’ wages! Stanley have taken over a pub with profits from behind the bar going straight into the club.

petercrouchsun.jpgLiverpool and England striker Peter Crouch could follow Thierry Henry to Spain if Atletico Madrid get their way. The Spanish outfit want to bring Crouch to La Liga as part of any deal that takes Fernando Torres to Anfield. The Daily Star reports that Real’s city rivals would love the lump the ball up to the 6ft 7in striker.