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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Transfers & Rumours

Transfer Rumours: Football is awash with gossip, hogwash, tittle tattle and rumours and we’ll dutifully round them all up here for you and assess them in our own wry, irreverent way.

74390382.jpgHappy now Jose? Uefa has named Chelsea as one of the eight seeds for next season’s Champions League. The other English CL teams – Liverpool, Man Utd and Arsenal – are also seeded; England is the only country to have all of its representatives seeded.

As expected, former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has lodged a formal takeover bid for Manchester City. The bid is valued at £81.6m. The City board said it intended to support the bid from UK Sports Investments, which is controlled by Thaksin and members of his family.

Bullard%20Jimmy.jpgOne of Pies’ favourite Premiership players, Fulham midfielder Jimmy Bullard, is to miss the start of next season. The former Wigan man is still having problems with the knee ligament injury which wrote off last season’s campaign for him. The 28-year-old has not played since September last year when a tackle with Newcastle’s Scott Parker dislocated his knee and put paid to his all-action start to the season.

If Jose Mourinho decides he is going to kick off on the referee we see plenty of hand-gesturing, plenty of sulking and, usually, the Special One dispatched to the stands. In Brazil, however, they needed riot police to escort America coach Lori Sandri off the pitch after one of his players was sent off for elbowing an opponent. All hell then breaks lose as the coach is handcuffed and his players end up scrapping it out with the coppers!

wbunited_narrowweb__200x260.jpgThe Premier League has announced it is going to trial goal-line technology in the auspicious surroundings of Reading youth team matches. The Royals have been asked to test out Hawk-Eye technology with a view to introducing it to the Premier League in two years.

shearerbellamy.JPGNewcastle legend Alan Shearer has revealed rumours of Craig Bellamy returning to St James’s Park had him reaching for the bottle. The retired Magpies striker said he needed a few drinks to calm him down after reading that Sam Allardyce was planning to sign the Welsh international.

72745653.jpgNewcastle striker Oba Martins survived a terrifying ordeal in his native Nigeria this week, when the car he was driving was shot at by masked gunmen. His mate was hit and wounded, but Oba escaped unharmed.

Aliadiere.jpgGooner, going, gone! Jeremie Aliadiere, The ferret-featured Arsenal striker signed for Middlesbrough in a £1.5m deal where he hopes Teeside fans will finally be able to put a face to his name.

73940447.jpgAccording to the Current Bun, Barcelona will look to Arsene Wenger after losing out on the Spanish league title to great rivals Real Madrid. Frank Rijkaard is expected to step down following Barca’s failure to win either the Primera Liga or Champions League.

lgsam.JPGChelsea Phone Chargers and Fulham Fridge Floggers are pushing each other around while arguing over who loves South Korean international Lee Chun Soo the most. The West London rivals are both eager to keep their Korean sponsors happy by signing a player who could warm their bench with the efficiency of a Korean microwave warming your dinner.

fistonmanuella.jpgLeague One outfit Millwall are ready to offer a trial to mdifielder Fiston Manuella, who was jailed for two months earlier this season for headbutting an opponent.

Times%20front%201%20lo.jpgSo many thanks to The Times (they obviously have excellent taste in Pies), for naming us as one of their Top 50 Best Business Blogs. We’re not quite sure how we fit into the business category but since we’re the only football blog on the list we’re sure as hell not complaining. Go us!

Teddy.jpgVeteran striker Teddy Sheringham has been arrested for allegedly giving false details in response to a speeding charge. The ex-England international was interviewed by police on 15 May and has been bailed until July. Sheringham’s former team-mates at West Ham Bobby Zamora and Shaun Newton have been arrested under similar circumstances and have also been given bail.

The 06/07 Premiership season has only just finished but there’s no time to think about that, because the fixture list for the 2007/08 season has just been released. The new season begins on 11 August (is it me, or is that earlier than ever before?), with this set of fixtures:

Reading%20fans.jpgReading fans are the most stylish in the country, according to a survey carried out by Brylcreem. The haircare firm interviewed fans from all 92 Football League clubs to find out their taste in hairstyle, clothes labels, drinks, holidays and nights out. The Royals fans came out on top, narrowly pipping Northampton Town supporters.

Bent_D-06.jpgDarren Bent is an excellent Premiership striker who has long been linked with a (give or take the odd quid) £10 million move to a top club. Why then would he move to West Ham – a club which could easily have been playing Championship football with Charlton Athletic next season? And why would the Hammers pay so much over the odds for him?

AllardyceBarton.bmpThe Professional Footballers’ Association must be used to stepping in to break up fights involving Joey Barton by now. But this time they have got themselves into a right old tussle over Barton’s proposed transfer from Manchester City to Newcastle United. The deal has reportedly stalled over a reported £300,000 owed to Barton.

Henry.jpgThierry Henry has agreed a deal to move to Barcelona, according to a French football magazine. France Football claims a contract was signed at a secret Ashley Cole-style meeting in the south of France. The reports have been rubished by Henry’s agents SEM Group, who were rumoured to have brokered the deal.

Becks%20scarf.JPGShove! Ouch! Gulp! That’s the sound of David Beckham ramming the words of his Real Madrid overlords down their throats. His employers have been fawning in their praise of the ex-England skipper following his dramatic return to form in a last ditch attempt to keep him at the Bernabeu. That attempt seems to have failed with LA Galaxy politely reminding the Spanish giants that they had their chance and informing them that Becks does not have a buy-out clause in his contract.

Fowler.jpgRumours linking Robbie Fowler with a move to the US have been knocking around for a while, but it has now emerged that he has been in talks with LA Galaxy over a possible deal. The News of the World reported that David Beckham’s new club had failed to tempt Ole Gunnar Solskjaer to the States, but were more hopeful of securing Fowler’s services.

dixonofdock.jpgPolice investing corruption in football have made an arrest. A 61-year-old man has been arrested in Manchester on suspicion of money laundering. The man – who is said not to be a football agent – was taken into custody on Wednesday by the economic crime unit of the City of London police.

74250651.jpgSome good news for Liverpool after last week’s shocker – Xabi Alonso has signed a new deal with the club. The 25-year-old midfielder had been linked with a move back to his native Spain, has he has now committed to Liverpool until 2012.

Well they can’t take all the credit because Fame Academy helped, but singer-songwriter Griffin’s tribute to Mark Viduka has been rendered useless by the big Aussie’s move to St James’s Park. Middlesbrough fan Griffin is unlikely to rewrite the words of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah yet again with Magpies-themed lyrics. The line And from our team you can’t take Mark Viduka is clearly even less true than all the ones about Boro playing exciting football!

kenny.JPGIf you thought Sheffield United keeper Paddy Kenny was your traditional tubby pie-eating goalie (and we freely admit that is exactly what we thought), then think again. The Republic of Ireland international has run three marathons in three days to raise money for a children’s hospice. Kenny ran 26 miles a day from Skegness to Sheffield raising £10,000 in the process.