By Alan Duffy

Tottenham Hotspur 5-0 Newcastle United – Premier League – 11th February 2012

Harry Redknapp’s charges gave their boss the perfect homecoming present, as they presented their exhonerated manager with a superb 5-0 win against Newcastle.

It has been some week for Redknapp, who is clear favourite to take the England job. However, after watching his side tear the Magpies apart with a superb dsplay of fluid attacking football, one wonders if the former Portsmouth boss will want to leave White Hart Lane at all.

Former Arsenal man Emmanuel Adebayor was the architect of the victory, providing four first-half assists before finally getting on the scoresheet himself after the break. New signing Louis Saha immediately clicked with his Togolese strike partner, netting twice in the first 20 minutes after Benoit Assou-Ekotto had opened the scoring on just four minutes.

Newcastle simply couldn’t live with Spurs, who knocked the ball around with precision and speed in a magnificent performance. Niko Kranjcar netted the Lilywhites’ fourth, just after the half-hour mark, while the visitors rarely threatened Brad Friedel’s goal.

After the break, Adebayor finally got on the scoresheet, courtesy of a superb swivel and volley while Demba Ba did his best to get the Magpies a consolation strike, only to be denied by Friedel on more than one occasion.

So Spurs keep the pressure on the two Manchester sides, while Alan Pardew’s Newcastle are finding out just how tough it can be at the top (or at least in the top six).

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Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

Sunderland 1-2 Arsenal – Premier League – 11th February 2012

Some wondered if Thierry Henry’s brief return to Arsenal would damage his iconic status with the north Londoners, however, in netting his second winner (and third goal) of his loan spell against an impressive Sunderland side, the Frenchman has entered the realm of the God-like for Gooners all over the world.

Arsene Wenger’s men came to Sunderland on the back of a superb 7-1 mauling of Blackburn last week, but well aware that in Martin O’Neill’s Black Cats, they were facing the in-form side in the top division.

While the visitors had, as is often the case, the majority of the possession, they struggled to hurt a well-drilled Sunderland side with James McClean and Stephane Sessegnon looking lively. Indeed, it was the Irishman who would eventually open the scoring, running through on goal on 70 minutes after Per Mertesacker fell in a crumpled heap courtesy of a serious-looking ankle injury. The winger’s finish was emphatic, as he drilled the ball across Wojciech Szczesny and into the back of the Arsenal net. Indeed the home side could have been further ahead, only for a number of good saves from the Polish glovesman.

However, with Mertesacker off, sub Aaron Ramsey made his presence felt almost instantly, firing home from the edge of the box to level the scores and kickstart the Gunners’ fight-back. Then with just seconds remaining, Arsenal’s two other subs, Andrei Arshavin and Henry, combined to win the game for the visitors. The Russian, who has all too often disappointed this season, sent over a superb cross which Henry volleyed home from close-range to secure all three points on a day when Arsenal’s rivals for fourth spot all lost.

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Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

By Alan Duffy

Everton 2-0 Chelsea – Premier League – 11th February 2012

That much-publicised  midweek training ground visit from Roman Abramovich would have done little for Andre Villas-Boas’ confidence ahead of Saturday’s game against Everton. However, after watching his struggling side go down by two goals to nil at Goodison, the Portuguese manager must now be fearing for his job.

The hosts were fully deserving of the victory, with old-boy Steven Pienaar, back on loan from Spurs, blossoming for the Toffees. The South African wideman opened the scoring on five minutes after some poor defending from the Blues, and despite the best efforts of Juan Mata to fashion an equaliser for the visitors, Everton went in a goal up at half-time.

After the break, the home side dominated proceedings, with Argentinian striker Denis Stracqualursi securing the victory on 71 minutes after some fine play from Landon Donovan.

While Everton go 10th, Chelsea now find themselves in fifth, level on points with fourth-place Arsenal but now looking all but certain of a Champions League berth come May.  One wonders if Abramovich has been on the phone to Fabio Capello this week.

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Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

By Alan Duffy

Manchester United 2-1 Liverpool – Premier League – 11th February 2012

The Evra/Suarez circus which preceeded the game before, once again, polluting the proceedings throughout the 90 minutes and beyond, has already been well covered by Pies, so I’ll focus on the football.

Wayne Rooney proved to be the match-winner for United, with his three-minute two-goal salvo early in the second-half earning his side a vital three points in the title race. Liverpool did get one back through a certain Mr Suarez on 80 minutes and could have had another, with the Uruguayan heading over from close-range.

However, overall, the Red Devils deserved the three points, with Antonio Valencia impressing once again down the right and Danny Welbeck proving a willing partner to Rooney up front. As for Liverpool, their five-man midfield failed to spark, with Jordan Hendersen missing-in-action and Steven Gerrard failing to get a hold of the game. With Craig Bellamy starting on the bench, the visitors were in need of some genuine pace up front, with Rio Ferdinand and Jonny Evans looking somewhat vulnerable in the centre of United’s defence.

Ultimately, it was Rooney’s brace (he could’ve had a hat-trick too) that would prove decisive in a game which will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

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Highlights…

Photos: PA

                          

By Chris Wright

Sir Alex Ferguson didn’t hold back in his assessment of Luis Suarez in his post-match interview with the BBC:

“Suarez is a disgrace to Liverpool Football Club. He should not be allowed to play for Liverpool again. He could have caused a riot.”

Which is actually a compliment if those myriad hair-trigger, blindly defensive Liverpool fans out there are prepared to give it a minute to sink in before the bile starts gushing forth.

Ferguson makes no secret and is actually fairly regular in expressing his admiration for Liverpool’s proud history.

To many, this latest diatribe may seem like back-handed shit-stirring on the surface – but Sir Alex is actually openly stating that a player of Suarez’s ‘dubious nature’ (which is putting it far too politely) is not worthy of playing for a club he regards in such high esteem.

Okay, it’s a little back-handed – but the point stands and we can’t help but agree on that particular front. The man has a point; Suarez is disgraceful. He is void of grace.

Kenny Dalglish was altogether less dignified after the game, telling a Beeb reporter: ”I think you’re bang out of order to blame Luis Suarez for anything that happened here today,” (the readily accessible evidence suggests otherwise) in amongst other such diversionary nonsense…

Dear me.

                          

By Chris Wright

Merely ‘celebrating with his own fans’ or goading Liverpool and Suarez as they/he made his way down the tunnel? Make your own minds up what Paddy was playing at come the final whistle.

I’m pretty sure I know what he had in mind.

                          

In which, during Borussia Monchengladbach’s DFB Pokal quarter-final tie with Hertha Berlin on Wednesday night, Monchengladbach striker Igor De Camargo goes down like a big cheating sack of spuds to get Hertha centre-half Roman Hubnik sent off…

Is he alright? Somebody better call Alessandro Del Piero, stat!

The crowning glacé cherry on the dog turd of fate? After over 100 minutes of goalless toil, De Camargo’s feigned aneurysm won/conned his side a breakthrough penalty in extra-time – with Monchengladbach going on to win 2-0 and book themselves a place in the last four.

What. A. Bastard.

                          

By Chris Wright

While making their way home from an away match against Kardemir Karabükspor a couple of nights ago, Turkish top flight side Samsunspor flirted with disaster when their team coach was side-swiped by a train on a level crossing.

The incident was captured on CCTV…

The aftermath…

No-one was killed or maimed as, thankfully, the train appeared to be slowing – though the two players who were sitting directly above the left-rear wheel arch of the bus (defender Hakan Arslan and midfielder Serdar Özkan) suffered significant but not life-threatening injuries.

As quoted by Today’s Zaman, bus driver Recep Terzi told the Turkish press:

“It was midnight. The ramps were up when I was about to cross. While slowly crossing, I realized a train was approaching and had its lights off. I immediately accelerated.

“After I stepped on the gas, the train hit the left back wheel of the bus and pushed us aside. If I had not seen the train at the last second, it would have hit the middle of the bus and that would have led to great damage and could have even cost many lives. The players awoke in panic; many later said they were lucky to have survived.”

Looks like the lights were on to me Recep. Just saying.

Video: 101GG

                          

By Chris Wright

‘The Hart Fart’ appears to be a phenomenon that most Man City fans are aware of already, being as though their official in-house television channel has already produced an in-depth analysis package to accompany the video.

For the unenlightened, the clip is taken from City’s 2011 blooper reel and sees Joe Hart letting go of a little bum toot in the back of a taxi, with captain Vincent Kompany trying desperately to keep a straight face in order to admonish young Joseph and his rogue sphincter, while Micah Richards just explodes in fits of howling laughter…

Yep. They roped in Noel Gallagher to pundit a fart.

Via Dirty Tackle

                          

By Chris Wright

Whenever the world gets higgledy-piggledy, thank the lawd that we’ll always have NMA TV to make sense of it on our behalf.

Here we have the Taiwanese news agency’s animated take on Fabio Capello’s resignation and the furore that exacerbated it, which contains some very dubious imagery – indeed, the first ten seconds is among the most libellous material I’ve ever witnessed, and the ‘sinking ship’ quip? Very near the knuckle/massively insensitive.

Gawd bless NMA…

NMA: An oasis of clarity in a mad, mad world.