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Who ate all the pies

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West Ham Utd

West Ham United: All the latest West Ham United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

More rumour swill

Who the hell is this Pixie Lott anyway?

I kissed a badge and I liked it

Feel the gurn…

The best pics from Upton Park last night

You play in dirt, you get dirty

Complacent Gunners spaff a two-goal lead at Upton Park

Simon Webbe used to be in Blue, a band of such overwhelming blandness that I can’t recall even one of their many ‘hits’

A dark evening for English football began with fighting in the Upton Park area

Beautiful through ball from Coley to Defoe. Oh. No. Seriously, what was Cole thinking? An early contender for worst pass of the season. Although for Spurs fans, it looked like a game-changing pass of rare beauty.

West Ham defender Calum Davenport and his mother were stabbed at home in Bedford last night. Davenport was rushed to hospital where he underwent emergency surgery on “serious” injuries to both his legs. A West Ham spokesman said: “We can confirm that Calum Davenport was being treated in hospital on Saturday afternoon after an incident […]

In which professional geezer/West Ham fan/shit actor/twat Danny Dyer takes one in the “north and sarf” (mouth): “That’s a powerful tool, that…” You are, Danny. You are. Most enjoyable.

Rather than hire a sexy beauty queen to show off your new kit (as Linfield did), West Ham Utd turned to celeb fan Ray Winstone (aka Ray, 52, from Essex) to show off its new Umbro home kit (that or Matty Upson really piled on the pounds)… Ray told WHTV: “This is beautiful, it is […]

An extremely fresh-faced Trevor Brooking (aged 17) poses in a West Ham shirt prior to the start of the 1965/66 season. [Photo: PA/Barratts/S&G and Barratts/EMPICS Sport] Brooking signed for the Hammers as a teenager after leaving Ilford County High School. He went on to make 635 first-team appearances over the course of 19 years. This […]

Place your bets… All bets are off on Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo, but there are still many star names whose futures remain unclear. Join Pies for a game of Transfer Roulette:

British football’s greatest Houdini acts 1. West Bromwich Albion (2005) With the odds stacked massively against the Baggies, on the final day of the season they did the only thing they could and beat Portsmouth 2-0. Elsewhere, Crystal Palace drew with Charlton, while Norwich and Southampton both lost. West Brom became the first club to […]

Dirrrrty boys The list is based on fouls committed, which I concede is a flawed way of deciding which players are dirty. For example, there are no defenders on the list, because a) defenders are expected to make tackles, so referees are more lenient on them, and b) midfielders and forwards are simply not as […]

Who’s going where, and who’s not going anywhere… Baked-bean head Mikael Silvestre was reportedly undergoing a medical at Man City when he was informed that Arsene Wenger wished to sign him. ‘Silvestre immediately abandoned the medical and hurtled down the M1 to meet Gunners boss Wenger and discuss terms,’ The Sun claims. Hope he stuck […]