Real Madrid 0-2 Barcelona: Beautiful Messi Goal Not Enough To Save Horrible Game (With Photos)

Chris Wright

28th, April 2011


By Chris Wright

After sorting out an issue with some ridiculously large, screen-blotting subtitles, I took a seat in the local alehouse awaiting a feast of football afore football’s twin behemoths set about each other for the third time in the space of a fortnight though – as tends to happen all too often with these over-hyped Barcelona/Real Madrid games – the match itself was somewhere akin to watching two twin brothers squabble in the back seat of the car for 90 minutes.

Last night’s Champions League semi-final first-leg Clasico was a soul-sappingly terrible game for the most part, littered with feigning, fawning, yellow-bellied simulating, chirruping, fouling, unwarranted red cards, sniping and whatever-it-takes gamesmanship. My heart sank.

Thankfully, Senor Messi pulled goals no. 51 and 52 out of his silken bag (#52 was a work of true beauty, no?) to at least furnish the game with a smidge of grace.

Speaking after the game, Real coach Jose Mourinho – who was sent to the stands for ridiculing the referee’s decision to dismiss Pepe – unveiled his conspiracy theory behind the loss to the baying press:

“I hope that one day [Guardiola] will win a clean Champions League, with no incidents behind it. Today it’s clear that against Barcelona you have no chance.

“I don’t understand why. I don’t know if it’s the publicity and sympathy of UNICEF (Barca’s sponsor), I don’t know if it’s the friendship of (Spanish football federation president Angel Maria) Villar at UEFA, where he is vice-president, I don’t know if it’s because they are very nice, but they have got this power. The rest of us have no chance.”

Barca are now threatening to report Mourinho and Real Madrid to their friends at UEFA. In truth, they’re both as bad as each other – always have been, always will be. Spoilt brats, the lot of ’em.

Bonus fun fact: Barca ‘keeper Victor Valdes covered more ground than Mesut Ozil and Ibrahim Afellay combined (3796 metres) by running head-long at the referee at every single sound of Wolfgang Stark’s whistle.


David Villa is buffeted from behind by Marcelo

Lionel Messi nips away from Pepe

Pepe sees red for a shin-high challenge on Dani Alves, who drove his face into the turf and rolled around in ‘agony’ before being stretchered from the field, despite the fact that almost no contact was made…

…that said, I thought it looked like a red-card offence in ‘real time’ – just because Pepe’s an absolute pig

Jose Mourinho has words with Carles Puyol on the sidelines…

…before being sent to the stands for his sarcastic applause and protestations over Pepe’s dismissal

Emmanuel Adebayor and Gerard Pique chase down a loose ball

Cristiano Ronaldo glides past Xavi’s outstretched leg

Emmanuel Adebayor steers the ball away from David Villa

Real Madrid players react to Lionel Messi’s opening goal

Cristiano Ronaldo reacts after spurning a chance

“Who’s the f**king chief now Jose?”

Barcelona celebrate en masse after the final whistle

Without wishing to jump the gun, how does a Manchester United vs Barcelona final at Wembley sit with everyone?

Photos courtesy of the PA.

Posted in Barcelona, Champions League, Real Madrid

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  1. Coolie says:

    Im still not sure if it was a red! Very dangerous tackle and i can see why it would be given and why it would not be given, so to sum up im still on the fence.

    Delighted for mourinho, I despise his smugness and there is few better feelings in football than him and ronaldo losing AND it was at the same time!! BONUS

    I love barcelona and how they play the game but that victory was tainted for me with all the feigning and faking. Sergi B needs to have a serious look at himself, what a prick. Messi on the other hand is an absolute footballing God, takes the kicks and gets on with it. Rarely if ever does he dive and then he goes and does something sublime like last night. He is only 23 and I already think he might be the best player ever, if he wins a WC for Argentina this will surely be fact more than opinion.

  2. MrMac says:

    I’m a mourinho fan, big time.
    For his strategic masterpeices, and timeless fun for the whole world.

    But last night i was disappointed – there was no tactical genious and brilliance – there was no counter agressive plays that atleast happened a bit in the cup final.

    At the same time my hatred for Barca grows stronger everyday.
    They have some the best individualists of the century, but holy shit they have some cry babies.
    Mourinho has his points, but it’s pot calling the kettle black.

    If he atleast showed his tactical genious that everyone knows he has last night – maybe i’d be worth alot more now.

    While english football is not so dominating as it has been or pretty or anything that the elitest mediabastards claim football should be.

    Atleast they’re not a bunch of pussies who hide on their side of field or just pass a ball around doing nothing for 90 minutes.

  3. Soccer Professional says:

    Barca are renowned for their negative soccer tactics, and that’s exactly how they won the game last night.

    They had to resort to these cheap tactics to get players sin binned and sent off to win the game.

    Poor show Barca, Sergio Busquets, Daniel Alves and Pep Guardiola.

  4. jave says:

    @Soccer Professional, Mate you have no clue about football, ‘renowned for their negative soccer tatics’…yeah because outplaying every other team with some of the best football ever played is so negative..Tit

  5. Coolie says:

    Sin binned?? HAHA

  6. douchie says:

    @jave vag

  7. MrMac says:


    Barca have some of the worlds most amazing individualists.

    Unfourtunately they weren’t there last night.

    While Mourinho failed in his tactics (as clear even by ronaldo’s disgust) – barca won cause of Piss poor whiny tactics.

    Massive filming left and right, even messi playing handball and falling prey to the show by Alves, Pedro, Mascherano and Busquets.

    If they’re so fukkin awesome why did they pass the ball on their own field for 70 minutes til pepe got sent off for touching the ball and not a player?

    Grow up.

    It deserved to end 0-0, and that would have atleast given real a small hope.

  8. masatoshi says:

    mourinho is a joke. mourinho san, anata no kawaii desu ne… anata no joker desuka?

  9. Freddy says:

    Oh man!
    You guys need some serious time somewhere south the globe to feel, see and learn about FUTBOL. Then I can read your blogs and comments with more confidence. Right now, I’d say that you are just jealous bout beauty!

  10. Michael D says:

    So, a couple of quick thoughts: first, it was a piss poor game. Mourinho decided to use all of the dark arts in this one and quite frankly, I’m not all that surprised that the Barca players reacted the way they did. I’m not condoning their whining and playacting at all, but considering they had seen that Madrid playing more and more defensively starting with their League match and moreso in the CdR game and it just reached a nadir last night. So seeing that trying to pass and probe adventurously as they’re used to wasn’t working they basically fought fire with fire. Madrid were clearly playing to wind them up, so Barca decided to play act and whine so as to wind up Marca. Which is a shame because if RM played a tight defense (as they can) and showed some adventure moving forward as they have they could’ve got a goal and it would’ve been a much more enthralling match but instead they were playing for a draw and perhaps a few cards. I think Chris W said it perfectly when he said it was like watching two brothers going at it in the backseat of a car (and having two teenage sons who are 3 years apart, I can’t tell you how annoying it is first-hand).

    Second, think of it this way as well: imagine ManU and Chelsea swapped places with Barca & Madrid. They first played an important PL match that basically decided the PL title, followed a couple of days later by an FA Cup final match. Follow that a week later by a CL semifinal game. Don’t you think by that point with having played each other so much in such short time and under such pressure that we wouldn’t see the same or perhaps worse from them? Exactly…so again, I’m not at all condoning it because it was pitiful football, I’m just saying let’s all calm down and look at the context of it.

    All of that being said, my goodness that Lionel Messi…that second goal was truly the definition of a golaso. Out of nothing he danced through the RM defense and slid it past Casillas as cool as the other side of the pillow.

  11. Sex God says:

    @Michael D
    stop writing essays

  12. Sex God says:

    you twat

  13. Sex God says:


    YOU are the one who cleary knows nout about football
    barca were shit as fuck last night. not saying madrid were good either
    but you are an idiot mate.

    if you think barca were “outplaying every other team with some of the best football ever played” last night you are an idiot of the highest order.


  14. Michael D says:

    @Sex God – sorry, instead of trying to write a thoughtful comment I’ll just call everyone who disagrees with me a twat. And I won’t say why they’re a twat, they just are. Carry on son

  15. Sex God says:

    @Michael D
    ok good for you
    you do that
    just no more essays

  16. Nick Sincere says:

    @Michael D – I thouroughly enjoyed your essay sir, and I must say I do agree with all of your points. Very well put, and I will say no more about it as I could not possibly put it any better. Your ability to express yourself is certainly to be commended, particularly in light of those comments which are surrounding you. Please, do enlighten us with some more of your insight sometime in the future, sooner than later. Thank you again, fine fellow.
    Not a sex god

  17. ceezer says:

    This game was the definition of modern footballing gone wrong. One hundred billion euros worth of players and coaches on the pitch and only about 10 minutes of actual football. Spanish football is for girls and might as well just have a no tackling rule so as the players don’t mess their hair or actually get a jersey dirty. It’s a shame to see players who were so great in the PL waste their prime playing years in such a shit soccer country.

  18. ceezer says:

    Oh yeah, I used to think Dani Alves was a cold blooded attacking and defensive workhorse but he’s been relegated to cunty diving classless punk.

  19. Bruno says:

    Shame for Barça and Real… Real was scared of Barcelona but the Barcelona players are just a disgrace. With all the talent they have they still always manage to be bitches rather than men playng football. Xavi, Puyol, Dani Alves, Valdes, Busquets, Villa… all f**ckn crying babies. Messi stands out though, as footballer and as a man. Do you ever see him running to the ref like the world is ending? Shame on Xavi, Puyol, Dani Alves, Valdes, Busquets, Villa… and Mourinho too, it wasnt a red card, ok, but you got to show some respect. If Alex Ferguson had said that he was going to be banned for life.

  20. Torresmos says:

    It was a bad game albeit a very competitive one as expected.
    Few chances and not a lot of exciting attacking football.

    That said, for those who think the ref played a part in Madrid´s demise, take a look at their bench: Kaká, Benzema, Adebayor and Higuaín.
    Now compare it with Barça´s… Afellay was the main threat on there.
    I would blame their coach for a fear-packed starting 11, filled with hacks instead of football players.

    We´ve all have seen challenges like Pepe´s get a booking in the past and sometimes not even a card, but rules are rules and no-one can say it wasn´t a red.

    Best side won and we will tell our grand-children we saw this Barça team play, one of the greatest teams ever.

    Messi, ya beauty!!

  21. TravisKOP says:

    @Freddy, firstly FUTBOL is a made up word in spanish that represents the word FOOTBALL, because the fucking game was invented by the ENGLISH. secondly, 90% of barca is made up of Europeans you cunty douche not south americans. Messi sure, hes great, but we all saw how Argentina did against a real team in the world cup last summer.

    Anyone with a brain watching that game must’ve thought it was shit because in my opinion it was, dirty challenges, cheeky dives left and right, stupid arguments that just ruin the whole sportsmanship of the game, I mean for christs sake even when Liverpool were in form I NEVER watched a game between them and Manchester that was filled with this much pissy bullshit. Both of those teams, barca and real need to man the fuck up.

  22. The Yank says:

    Its games like these that make me miss Don Revie’s Leeds…

  23. dc says:

    I LOVE how everyone talks about Barcelona playing negatively and “passing the ball on their own field for 70 minutes” and at the same time laud Mourinho for his “brilliant tactics.”

    Barcelona went into the game with the mindset that at 0-0 would benefit them going into the next leg, good logic for a team with such a good home record and an ability to frustrate teams with posession. Be careful, take chances but don’t force and get caught out. More of a “Mourinho mindset,” instead of a typical Barca one.

    But noooooo, Barca ALWAYS play the “Barca way”… “Mourinho knows how to beat them and no one else does”….the cliches go on and on and on.

    The fact is, on this particular night, Mourinho had his typical strategy of sit back and defend, put Kaka and more strikers on late, and attack Barca on the counter. However, Barca’s tactics need to be celebrated in this game, because they refused to bow to Mourinho.

    They kept posession on the edge of their halfway line, and since Madrid were sitting 11 men behind the ball, they just passed it around. There’s no sense attacking a team who you don’t need to beat in that particular game (unlike in the Copa del Rey final), especially when you know they are LOOKING for the counter attack. Naturally Madrid get frustrated their gameplan isn’t working, they make stupid mistakes.

    Brilliant by Barca; blame the boring game on Jose. Why attack against an 11 men defense who you know will counter?

  24. Paul McGuigan says:

    Soccer Pro’s comment really make me laugh.

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