Chelsea Sack Reserve Teamer Jacob Mellis For Smoke Grenade Jape

Chris Wright

20th, March 2012


By Chris Wright

Chelsea have today announced that the urchin responsible for causing a full-scale evacuation of the club’s training complex a fortnight or so ago, 21-year old reserve teamer Jacob Mellis, has been sacked following a ‘full and thorough’ investigation into the incident which saw a smoke grenade set off at Cobham on March 2nd.

Mellis’ second string teammate Billy Clifford has escaped with a fine after admitting he brought the grenade onto the training, having hung on to it following a paintballing jaunt the previous weekend.

At this juncture it might be worth mentioning that we’re dealing with the same club that allowed Ashley Cole to waltz away with a slapped wrist after got actually shooting the work experience boy in the diaphragm not so long ago.

What that says about Chelsea’s disciplinary procedure is open to interpretation – though we’d venture that it perfectly illustrates the line of thinking which suggests that your inherent value within football is directly affected to your level of culpability and subsequent punishment.

Then again, we’re a bit cynical like that.

Posted in Chelsea, FAIL

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  1. Al says:

    cynical maybe, but right? Absolutely 100% right. I don’t know anything about Jacob but you can bet all you have that Chelsea don’t see him as a future superstar, otherwise he’d be kept and this would be put down to boys being boys. That siad, sacking him over a prank does seem ridiculously harsh even if they don’t rate him

  2. Bill says:

    No you’re correct, it’s exactly why Suarez wasn’t just kicked the fuck out in light of his recent “troubles”.

  3. Ian says:

    I would say Cashley shooting somebody was worse

  4. itsa me, Marioo says:

    Silly grasshopper, don’t you know only Mario can do something like that & get away with it.

  5. raza says:

    No, Terry gave the order on this one.

  6. West End Blues says:

    This sort of thing happens in nearly every line of work. A colleague of mine was recently dismissed for a minor mistake, when in all honesty he was never that good at his job and my employers were looking for an excuse. Really it is the overly protective and complicated labour laws in this country that lead to these farcical situations. Firing the lad for simply not quite being good enough isn’t an adequate reason for dismissal, despite being the truth.

  7. Josh says:

    I don’t know how anyone can think getting shot with a AIR-POWERED gun is that big a deal.

    Clearly you didn’t have an American childhood. =)

  8. QPR says:

    @3, well, he is black so you could be right.

  9. Andy Carroll's Ponytail says:

    Guess you could say poor little Jacob was smoked out of the club..

  10. Mr. Sparkle says:

    Suarez wasn’t kicked out because no one cared enough about his comments to do anything about it, they think that keeping an idiot on the team is better if they can win something; besides, Liverpool has always been a shade white hasn’t it.

  11. Meji says:

    Lol Chelsea didn’t rate him at all.

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